[beanie]

Today, I worked 7:30-12:30... It was pretty good, the first bit. This one lady, boy, it was funny. She was just smiling at me the whole time I was putting her groceries through, and, finally, as she's stacking them back into her trolley, she goes, "Oh, Bonnie, you're my favourite checkout chick ever! You know exactly how to pack and you're so efficient. I always hope you're working when I'm shopping." That made me blush.

You know how you can just sense stuff in people? Well, I dunno if you can, but I can and today this husband & wife came through my checkout and boy, was he mad at every little thing she did - seemed like it was never good enough. She was quaking... I could just feel it and it was scarey. I think it would be hard enough to be in an abusive relationship, but to also have to suffer silently in public... Breaks my heart. Why is it sooooo taboo!?

By the end of my shift, I was stuffed. My back is really annoying me of late. It is unusual for me to be that stuffed after only 5 hours! I came home, ate, watched half of Oprah and went to bed. My throat is raw... I'm not sick! NOT SICK!

My friend Chloe (name changed to protect her innocence) rang me just before my alarm went off and woke me. Her mum had just called to give her the details of her birth father - whom she has never met or heard much about in her whole life. Her mum said that she'd been battling with the burden of it for a while. Since Chloe graduated high school, her mum's been wanting her real dad to know that his kid is doing really well, and know the pride that she as a mum knows. So, she gave Chloe all his details for her to deal with - for her to call him and meet him if she wants.

I remember when I was a bit younger, I always wanted to be single teenage mum, or the abused kid. Not cos I love pain, but I thought that if I were one, I would be able to handle it really well and be able to lead stacks of people to the Lord through my testimony. As God would have it, I've never been abused and I'm still a virgin.

My parents have been married for 28 years, they and all my brothers, and me, are committed to running the race - for better, for worse. On forms for christian ministry overseas, I can easily tick NO to all the questions that ask if I've been abused, had an abortion, had parents split up, battle with lust etc.

I've seen STACKS of my friends die: car accidents, terminal illness, suicide, sharks, drugs. I need more than 2 hands to count the number of teenage mums I know personally. As God would have it, I'm one of the few to somehow escape all this crap that is so prominent in our society. THAT in itself is the witness, it's the light that shines Christ so evidently in my life.




And now, I'm off to prayer meeting at church... I'll finish this later.

[Christop]

Originally Posted by beanie

It's just not the one, you know. I had some talks with some people who knew me and knew the college and looked a bit more into it. Just didn't sit right.

Okay, cool. Well, I'll keep praying that God'll show you where to go.
Cheers.

[beanie]

Originally Posted by Christop

Okay, cool. Well, I'll keep praying that God'll show you where to go.
Cheers.

Thanks!

[beanie]

Who am I to be the one saved from all this? When I was growing up, prolly thinking it wasn't an epidemic, I wanted to be the victim, the broken, the abused. Now, I look back and oodles of people I know are from this kinda background, some still suffering with the effects.

Instead of my testimony being just like everyone elses, it's totally different. Just has hard to comprehend (depending on who's listening) and just as powerful... just the same, but totally opposite, to theirs.

I believe in radical conversions. I totally believe that when people come to Christ, they're redeemed and nothing bad from the past has control over them. I reckon that people can go from being carton-a-day smokers to being non-smokers overnight. I also know that for some others, it's a gradual process (it doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen - thankyou pantene!)

I'm not saying that I don't have hungups over what's happened to me in the past (but I try not to dwell on it negatively). I am saying that, to some, it would seem that I don't have quite as much to deal with. I can enter into this mission work easier. I don't have to go through months and months of counselling. I am so glad, blessed, humbled at that fact. That God would chose me to skip all that junk, yet still be called to the same service and adopted into the same family of those who have.

There's aren't grace-standards like that in God's kingdom. We're all the same... Sin is sin, weather it's stealing a paperclip or murdering. It effects us all equally. God, in his abundant grace, has given us an option to have life different... He leaves it up us to chose it. All-powerful, all-knowing, all-places - yet still great enough to leave us be if we'd like.










At small group last night, this old guy, Ray, was sharing how lately he's been trying to train himself into thinking that everything he does, says, is... it's ALL for God. Everything for the glory of His name. Anything that isn't done in the right attitude, is secondary and potentially wasted. It was so cool to hear cos he's old and wise, but still so open and excited to learn. I have so many bitter, old grannies come through my checkout... "God, please don't let me get like that." When I'm old, I still wanna be excited about what God's got in store for me, what He's doing in the world, in my local church, in my kids, grandkids', grandgrandkids' life. I met this woman in Queensland... I wanna be like her. I wanna be like Ray and his wife Daph... can't get enough of God, wanna be with Him forever, the passion never wavering.

[beanie]

I just got back from hanging out with my granny and papa and aunty Carol. They got me some funky new pj pants! They're all bright and stripey and fun! And I got a beanie as well... a green one, with holes in it, so I can pull my hair through the holes and it looks great. I'm just really excited and needed to tell someone.

[beanie]

The 13th of May was... Happy Birthday Bonnie's Blog day! WOO!

One year old... my goodness, these pages must hold a lot of crap! But obviously, some people love it... to keep posting, to keep reading, to keep bothering.

Free beer. Free love.

[nards]

Wow, happy birthday to Bonnies blog
Have a good one

[coldtoedpunker]

I get excited about new beanies. Have I told you about mine? hee! happy blogaversary. I hope you have a great weekend.

[FTS]

Happy Blogday!

[snowboarderTim]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

I just got back from hanging out with my granny and papa and aunty Carol. They got me some funky new pj pants! They're all bright and stripey and fun! And I got a beanie as well... a green one, with holes in it, so I can pull my hair through the holes and it looks great. I'm just really excited and needed to tell someone.

Sweet as You gotta post a pic of this! Beanies are awesome!

And...

Happy Blogiversary!



hmm... I'm underaged for the beer I'll take the free love though, thanks and yes, reading your blog has been great! I am still here after a year...

Tim

[beanie]

Originally Posted by coldtoedpunker

I get excited about new beanies. Have I told you about mine? hee! happy blogaversary. I hope you have a great weekend.

I really do look like a thug!

[beanie]

I just went to Brad & Rachel's wedding. It was nice! Formal, but quick and nice. The guys wore these wicked long-coated suits. Man, they were hot. I'm not heaps planning my wedding, but I know that it's gonna be funky fun, that is for sure! Now, I'm supposed to be cleaning my house for a party I'm hosting for no particular reason but to catch up with friends. I wonder who's gonna come... Do you wanna, cos you're most welcome! I'm really slack at inviting people... or stingy might be a better word.

[snowboarderTim]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

I really do look like a thug!

LOL


Glad the wedding was cool My bro had those longer jackets for his wedding, it was pretty cool! btw, it was just his and Carrie's one year on the 3rd! Man that went by quick! There's so much going on!

Hope you have a great day Bon

Tim

[FTS]

I'd come to the party... except I'm in New Zealand... =/
And now there's this whole passport ordeal and what have you
But party hard yo! (Gangsta talk)

[beanie]

I think the kids at church hate me. I'm not really sure why. Maybe for the 2 times I've ever had to look after them, I've been really mean or something. They prolly think I'm an orge. I sure look like one. I was even wearing a green hoody today. I mean, it just makes sense. Kids aren't dumb, you know. One kid today decided it was nice to spit on me. What the? He didn't realise that his dad was watching the whole thing through those trick-doors where you can't see the other side! He came sobbing back to me about 20 seconds later; a teary apology.

Tonight, I really felt the need to talk to him. I didn't want him to think that being near me will get him into trouble, or that that is my reason for hanging around... or that I was scarey. So, as I was helping him tie his shoes, I thanked him for saying sorry and that I wanted to be mates with him. He was receptive and obliging. Hopefully, things will get better. I think I need to develop relationship with these kids outside of the rare times I do look after them.

Tonight, I played keys through the whole service. I sucked but I can only get better.

My party was a fizz. Ben came for about half an hour, before going off to this youth thing that he had committed to. That was okay though. Some dude called and entertained me... During which time, the Blues lost the footy. So not a good weekend for my teams... again. Oh the suprises!

Don't you love it when you wake up singing!? This morning, I was singing before I even opened my eyes. Rocking!


My God
Is big
So strong
So mighty

My God's
Plans for be
Go beyond
My wildest dreams

My God's
So good
He's so good
To me

He's my rock
He is my refuge
He's the rock
On which I stand

He's my fortress
God, He is my life
He holds the future
In His hands

There's nothing
My God
Cannot do
There's nothing
My God
Cannot do