[SoccerAaron]

This is the new thread to post blonde jokes since the other one went to CPF.
Don't do stuff to get this moved.

[Frodo]

Um, ok. I've got a couple.


A blond, a bernet(however that's spelled) and a red-head walked into a fortune-telling building. A sign read "Magical mirror" and was nailed to a door, so they walked inside. Indeed, there was a beautiful mirror with a slot attatched to the bottom. The instructions next to the mirror said "Tell me the truth and I'll give you a presant tell me a lie, I'll make you disappear forever". So the bernet walked up and said to the mirror "I think one plus one is two" and out popped of the slot 20 dollars. The girl walked away, happy.

The red-head saw the bernet's success and so tried it herself. She walked up and said "I think this store charges too much money." Out popped 30 dollars. She also walked away happy.

The blonde, watching at both of the girls' money, and decided to give it a try. She stepped up t the mirror and said "I think..." and immediately she disappeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 blondes came up to some tracks on a trail. One said "Hey, look, bunny tracks!" The second said, "No stupid, they're deer tracks." The third said, "Hello! Anyone can see they're squirrel tracks!" Then, suddenly, they were all hit by a train.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blonde was sitting in a canoe in the middle of a dry field. There was no water, she was just rowing away. Another blonde drove up about 30 feet away in a truck. She yelled out the window "You know, it's stupid blondes like you that give us smart blondes a bad name! And if I could swim I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



That's all I got for now! Make sure you all add more! I love new jokes!

[SoccerAaron]

hahahahah.
That was good.

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde in a boat.

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde in the Mirror

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.

She picks it up, looks into it, and says, "WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before..."

The other blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh, of course you have. That's me!"

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde Joke

Want to hear three blonde jokes?

Listen to Hanson!

__________



Blonde Jokes...Or Are They?

How many blonde jokes are there?

None, they're all true!

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ''I've kidnapped you.''

She then wrote a note saying,''I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.'' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ''How could you do this to a fellow blonde?''

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde on the Run

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.

"Meow," says the redhead.

"It must be a cat," thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.

"Woof," says the brunette.

"Must be a dog," thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.

"Potatoes," says the blonde.

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde Painting A Porch

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[followerofJESUS]

That porch joke is one of my favorites!

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

Blonde: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
Man: "It's 3:15."
Blonde: (puzzled look on her face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing; I've been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four. One to hold the pan, and three to shake the stove.


A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright," said the clerk, "how long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

A few more minutes go by and the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

[followerofJESUS]

I'm not sure if I should post this one but it is really funny! It's not bad, just funny. Click and drag yur mouse over the text to read it. (If a mod wants to delete this that's fine with me.)

Once there was a plane crash over the Sahara desert

Only three women survived

A blond, a redhead and a brunette

So as they were wondering in the desert looking for water when they find this very old lamp

So they rub it

A genie comes out of the lamp grateful for his freedom and it grants each one of them of one wish

First the blondie says "I want to be ten times smarter!"

And so the genie snaps his fingers and she turns into a redhead

Then the redhead woman says "I want to de 100 times smarter!"

And again the genie snaps his fingers and the redhead turns into a brunette

Finally its the brunette's turn and she says "I want to be 1,000 times smarter!

The genie then asked "Are you sure ?"

She says with all of her might "Yessssssssssssssss"

So he snaps his fingers and turns her into a man!

[Frodo]

Heard that before, only a little different. Hardy har. Jus so you know, I'm a chic. lol. that's funny. Us girls like to change it around a little though....

[Frodo]

There were three blondes walking and they came to a river. It was roaring wild, and very dangerous, and none of them were good swimmers. "How can we cross?" they asked each other. All of a sudden, there was a genie. "Hello there, I am only alowed to give three wishes, so I'll give you one each." The first blonde wished "I wish I could be 10 percent stronger"(this is not a copy of the other joke) so the genie turned him into a swimmer and he swam across the river and waited for his other friends. The second blond stepped up and wished "I wish I could be 50 percent stronger" so the genie made him a constructor and he built himself a boat and floated across the river. Then waited for their other blond friend. She stepped up and wished "I wish I could be 100 percent SMARTER than them" so she turned into a a brunette, walked ten steps, and crossed the bridge.

[mxpx girl]

well this blonde, her name was brenda and she goes into wal-mart to buy some groceries and when she goes to pay, she pulls out her librairy card and pulls it through the scanner thing. It wasnt unitl her daughter told her, that she realized that she didnt have her cretit card.

um, the blonde was my mom and i was hte daughter. true story, it happened twice.
heh

[Frodo]

LOL!