[SoccerAaron]

hahahahahah

[Frodo]

MORE MORE!

[SoccerAaron]

Adventures in Disneyland

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."

So they went home.

[SoccerAaron]

911

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

She can't find the eleven.

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde Puzzle

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."

[SoccerAaron]

Blonde Submarine

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.

__________



Blonde Technology

Q: Why did the blonde sell her television?

A: To buy a VCR!

[SoccerAaron]

Blondes and Cops

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.

''You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''

[SoccerAaron]

Blondes in a Convertible

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.

Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,

"HURRY, HURRY, IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"

[SoccerAaron]

Blondog

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

From chasing parked cars!
__________

[SoccerAaron]

Comfortable

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."

[SoccerAaron]

Death Row in Women's Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

[SoccerAaron]

Deer Tracks

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

[Frodo]

Originally posted by SoccerAaron
Comfortable

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."

This is gonna sound stupid, but I'm not sure i get it. :kwhoa: sorry

[Jesus Fish <><]

Originally posted by Frodo
This is gonna sound stupid, but I'm not sure i get it. :kwhoa: sorry

com (come)
for (for)
ta (the)
ble (bull)

There was a blonde who went into a diner and ordered a cup of coffee. It was one of the kind w/ a peel-and-win sticker on the side. So, after drinking her coffee, she peeled it off, and starts yelling out "I won a motor home!!" Well, the waitress comes by wondering what the commotion is about, and the blonde tells here "I won a motor home!" and the waitress says "you coudln't have won a motor home, our biggest prize is a mini van." But the blonde still insisted she won a motor home, so the waitress went and got the store owner, and he came by and wanted to see the sticker, so he read it and it said "Win a bagel."

[Frodo]

Oh now I see. Gracias. How do people figure stuff like that out? Sheesh.