[Laura]

Vacations are great. Have a great one. Or, if you've already left, I hope you had a great one.

[Tony]

Back from the beach…

What a wonderful time. My 1 year-old son had great fun putting his feet in the water, giggled every time the waves lapped onto his little knees. Too bad he won’t remember it when he’s older.

I thought I would go crazy without internet access, but after 2 days, I simply stopped thinking about it. I quit thinking about work, church, work at church, the lawn back home, pretty much everything. All that mattered for a few days was the gathered family and the sea.

Looking for the perfect shells to take home, it struck me how the ocean is a whole different world than the one I know. A completely different ecosystem, almost alien. And yet, it is so much a part of our lives. The Bible is full of stories about life near the sea. I can’t help but imagine Jesus loving the water, and although not a fisher by trade, enjoying boat voyages.

The beach has a way of washing away whatever’s on your mind. The breeze scented with sea salt, the constant sound of the surf, the sand conforming to your body shape as you rest. Schools of dolphins swam by in the early afternoon.

For the first time I had thoughts of wanting to live by the ocean. But there are still things to keep in mind: sea water tastes terrible. At the beach is nice, but just a little inland and it’s simply hot & muggy. There are no more “cute” names you can give your boat or condo – none – so please don’t even try.

See? The sarcasm is coming back already.

[Tony]

Three things appropriate to father’s day happened over the weekend:

1) My 8 year-old daughter made me a huge card from poster board. Very cute.

2) My 15 month-old son stood on his own for several seconds, and even took a step or two. We all cheered (including him) at the accomplishment.

3) My wife took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive.

*blinks*

Holy cr@p!

I’m getting too old for this…

[Laura]

Wow. That's news! Congratulations.

[Tony]

yeah, it really is. Thanks.

To be honest, however, it's got me in an emotional barrel.

My wife's pregnancy with our son was miserable, and it's looking like this one will be no picnic, either.

So I feel helpless in not being able to do anything to make her feel better. And if I'm being truly honest, I feel lonely. Whatever energy she can find has to be focused toward our 1 year-old son, leaving nothing for me.

And then I feel guilty for feeliing lonely...

*sigh*

I wonder if other fathers-to-be deal with this?

[Tony]

From the shameless plug department...

I've been slowly working on a website that will hopefully be of some benefit to church musicians. I say "I" but there's a lot of help going on from my buddy who owns a web hosting company.

Anyway, for those of you who read here (is that up to 3 now?), I would appreciate your visit to the site, and welcome comments and suggestions.

Remember, it's still an infant, so try to view it with eyes for potential.

Anyway, here it is:

Max Worship

Hope both of you enjoy ;-)

[Tony]

My wife had her first doctor's appointment yesterday. After the exam, the doctor called me into the room and then found the baby's heartbeat again for me to listen to. It's simply amazing to hear that. The little sucker's working hard.

More good news is that the doctor prescribed a new medicine to help reduce the nausia, and so far it's been working. That's huge.

Initial estimated time of arrival is February 5, which probably means my Super Bowl weekend just got ruined.

I'm getting too old for this…

Please join us in celebrating the blessing of new life!

[Tony]

Did a little more work on the website. We now have a links page, and navigation buttons accross the top. I have to resist the urge to constantly tweak every little thing. I'll move something the teeniest, tiniest bit, then update the pages. That's not like me.

Next, I hope to add an articles page, but that means articles will have to be written as well.

On the home front, my son has been walking for about a week, and other than wobbling like frat boy on Spring Break, he's getting pretty good at it. It's truly a joy to watch your children grow. I can only hope that the Father looks upon His children with similar fondness.

My wife experienced horrible nausea with the pregnancy last time, and this one hasn't been all that different. Her doctor prescribed a medicine that helps to reduce the sympoms, however, and she's at least tossed fewer cookies so far.

She just called me from the pharmacy where she was getting the prescription refilled. The pharmacist had to phone it in to get special authorization. When my wife asked about it, she was told that the medicine was a "bit" expensive.

How expensive, you ask? The cost for 20 pills (she can take up to 2 a day if needed) was -- brace yourself -- $600.

Yikes! Thank heavens for insurance.

[Tony]

Tomorrow will be my 1-year mark at CGR. A year and nearly 700 posts later, what do I have to say for it?

It’s certainly been intriguing. I’d never participated in an online community, yet now I regularly check in at 4 or 5 forums on a daily basis. I think that’s interesting.

I was originally drawn by the guitar and worship leader sections. Still check them out, and post when I have something to offer. I briefly dallied in the CPF, and found out that I had nothing to offer there.

Hanging out in the Theology forum has forced me to think about many long-overlooked topics. I would say that I’m quicker to look to the scriptures for my answers than before. I was also turned on to the ESV translation of the Bible, which I enjoy quite a bit.

I suspect that I’m older than many of the “regulars,” and therefore tend to not fit in as well. That’s okay. There have been threads where I let my emotions get the best of me, and didn’t put my best foot forward. That’s less okay. So I’m learning to let thoughts distill before posting, and the end result is fewer posts. That’s better (even if it doesn’t get me rep points).

Started a blog, but you already knew that. It’s been fun to share some stories, and to get a little feedback from folks. I perhaps hoped for more interaction, but since I don’t spend a lot of time in other people’s journals, I shouldn’t be disappointed with the few kind readers I’ve had.

So, 364 days later, I think it’s been a worthwhile experience, even the paid membership. I hope I’ve contributed positively to others’ experience here as well.

[Tony]

Crazy, wacky, totally out of control times these days.

My wife is pregnant and puking. I'm working like mad at work to get ready for a presentation that a co-worker and I are giving at a national conference next week.

And I'm packing to move And I'm getting the last things done to my current house before the new owner moves in.

And here's the kicker: I go to the conference next week, return on Thursday as my wife supervises moving our stuff out of our current home (that means everything has to be packed and ready to go before I leave for the conference) then close on both houses on Friday, then move in to the new house on Saturday.

Oh! And my high school reunion is THE SAME WEEKEND!

All I want to do is survive to Labor Day...

[Tony]

Back from my business trip, moving, and high school reunion. Still standing, if just barely.

[Tony]

cheap, I know, but...

[Tony]

Been thinking about identity lately. Who are we? What does who we are have to do with anything?

Remember the first Toy Story movie? Buzz was under the delusion that he was an actual Space Ranger instead of merely a toy, and it got him into a lot of trouble. Woody on the other hand, was jealous of the attention this phony was getting, and caused even further problems. He was afraid of losing his favored position with Andy, illustrated by Andy writing his name on the bottom of Buzz’s foot, while the name on Woody’s boot was scratched with age.

There is a marvelous scene with the two toys in Sid’s bedroom. Buzz is taped to a rocket that Sid is going to launch and blow up the next morning. Woody is trapped under a milk crate. Buzz has since discovered his true identity, and is depressed that he’s nothing but a toy. But his friend reminds him that Andy is next door, and that he is valuable.

“You are a cool toy,” Woody says. “Maybe too cool.” And then, Woody begins to feel sorry for himself, wondering why Andy would want to bother with him with Buzz around. But then, he lifts his boot and reads Andy’s name written on the bottom, and realizes that both he and Buzz are Andy’s toys. Andy wanted both of them.

Do you sometimes struggle with “why would God even bother with me if He’s got (insert the name of some SuperChristian that you know) around?” Ever feel you’re not important enough to be valued?

Child of God, your worth is not in who you are, but in Whose you are. The Creator of the universe has marked you for His own. Just like Buzz and Woody, Jesus has written His name on your soul, and you are joint-heirs in His Kingdom.

Some day you will see Him face to face, and you will be with Him to infinity and beyond.

[Tony]

Unexpected flashback to 7th grade...

Playing on the church basketball team – the high school age team. There weren’t enough junior high players to make a separate team, so my buddy Phil & I are the two pip squeaks on the squad. My brother, a senior, is not happy at all that I’m playing.

Anyway, we’ve gone most of the season, and I’ve played maybe a minute or two in non critical games. It’s okay. Phil & I are having fun at practices, and he’s even scored a basket in a game. I’ve yet to add to the scoreboard.

My big chance comes when I get fouled late in the game, and I’m ushered to the free throw line for a 1 & 1. Everybody’s watching. I’m nervous as all get-out.

The ref hands me the ball. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Size up the shot. Blow out some air. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Pause.

I throw what looks like a beautiful arc at the rim. Up. Up. Still up. It goes completely over the backstop and hits wall. Other team’s ball.

Guess the adrenaline was pumping. Phil taunted me about it for weeks.

I have no idea why I just shared that embarrassing episode.

[Tony]

I have great memories of playing my dad’s Johnny Cash albums on the family record player. “How do you do? My name is Sue!” I still smile at the thought of listening to that song.

As a kid, I had no idea what an impact the Man in Black had on the music scene. I just knew that he was cool. In fact, I think he’s probably why my dad started picking a guitar, which eventually contributed to my interest.

“Because you’re mine… I walked the line.” He had the big boomy bass voice, that was so contrary to everything else I was listening to.

When Johnny began to express his faith in the 70’s, it was kind of a bonus to see this giant musician also sharing his belief in Jesus. And even though he had his battles with personal demons over the decades, that faith seem to have genuine roots.

“Love is a burning thing.” He sang about passionate things. True love. Hard times. I imagine that will be one of his enduring qualities. "I fell into a burning ring of fire."