[Lyle]

Santa. The Easter bunny-Tooth Fairy.

When I have kids these things will go out the door. I will not have these little make believe people to be in my kids heads.

Just if Santa were real...
If only 1/4 of the people in the world were good.

He would have to travel 789,756 times the speed of light

He would have about .98,456,346 of a second to go down the chimney and put the presents under the tree. Drink the milk and eat the cookies. (Not to metion build a chimney if someone doesn't have one):kroll:



And on the Coca-Cola bottles and boxes Santa always looks so relaxed.:kconf:

[Grasshopper359]

If you want to take that a bit further and look at the physics of that...

From a Christmas Humour Website


1)No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2)There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3)Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4)The payload on the sleigh adds another iteresting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - - to 353,430 tons.

5)353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vapourised within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity.

A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. Mmmm... but remember kids, when you stop believing in Santa is when you start getting clothes for Christmas...

Kyle

I find it most interesting that many on this post have the claim "Santa" does not exist. I encourage readers to learn a little more about this famed fellow at http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11063b.htm "Santa Claus" was in a sense "paganized" by many early Americans. The real stories behind this Saint are various and edifying.

[Grasshopper359]

I don't think that the real St. Nicholas would recognise Santa. I read about him when I was quite young and what he did for the poor. Too bad that his name has been made to be what it is.

Kyle

[Grasshopper359]

Originally posted by Rach
Jay & Kyle:



Those two posts were HISTYERICAL!!!! I was literally laughing out loud...my co-workers were looking at me so i had to stop cuz i am not allowed to have anything that resembles fun at work.


But That pic, with those *revised* song lyrics were GREAT!!!!!!

I most admit that we do make a good tag team, Jay and I.

Kyle

[mtcatch]

I haven't decided if I will or won't, I just wanted to say that I feel sorry for your kid's friends. They'll be talking about Santa, then your kids will tell them,"There's no Santa!" And their friends will run home and tell their moms, at which point you'll be receiving calls all day from the whole neighborhood on how you made their child cry.

[Travis]

No, I won't lie to my kids about Santa.

[Rach]

Originally posted by Grasshopper359
I most admit that we do make a good tag team, Jay and I.

Kyle

Yeah, those two post were most definetly the funniest thing i have read at CGR in a LONG while....




BUT back on topic...Um, i probably won't push the idea of Santa on my kids, i never grew up beliving in Santa. The only way we really "belived" in him was when we spent the holidays with my unsaved aunts and uncles who would put stuff out for us from 'santa' and my uncle would get a suit and dress up as him and come visit us after Christmas eve dinner...