Funny stories

smudge · 06-17-2002, 12:20 PM

I THOUGHT I WOULD LIKE TO HERE PEOPLE'S FUNNIEST STORIES.

TODAYS FOR ME HAPPENED AT MY WORK

VVincent my colleague who is about 23 stone's in weight a big guy and quite reserved was walking outside the building from our work last night. He was eating a sandwitch when suddenly a giant seagul came down and grabbed it from him, so he threw a stone at it and it dropped the sandwith. He laughed but then suddenly realised the bird was coming towards him quickly. Being a big guy he had no time to get out of the road so it hit him full on. It then began to pecka t him and he dived to the ground to protect himself. He began crawling around on all fours trying to get away from it shouting shoo, shoo, shoo, much to the absolute hysteria of our call centre aroung 400 people who began to watch him and the seagul.

This morning someon brought him in an album by "FLOCK OF SEAGULS"

Dr. Doom · 06-17-2002, 12:23 PM

that is funny.

i have one question..."how heavy is 23 stone's in weight?"

but hey, you are from Scotland so you are cool! Ever meet Sean Connery?

smudge · 06-17-2002, 12:27 PM

He is around 310 pounds and to see all of that crawling aroung on the ground shouting shoo shoo was the funniest thing i have ever seen it was like something out of a fish called wanda

I have never met mr connery as he tends to never be in the country as the taxes are too high.

Dr. Doom · 06-17-2002, 12:31 PM

how do you translate a stones weight to pounds? i am just curious. yes, i assumed it he was a rather hefty man and i literally laughed out loud when i imagined it. good story.

Taxes are too high? i thought he would have an old castle or something.

smudge · 06-17-2002, 12:47 PM

14 pounds make 1 stone in weight

The funny thing is that the guy is quite reserved and doesn't talk much which made it funnier

Jc · 06-17-2002, 12:58 PM

I got a story

My friends and I were camping at a local Forest Reserve, and we had just gotten up and were cooking breakfast. One of them, Rufus, was fixing the bacon. He had a cast iron frying pan about 15inches wide. He was cooking a lot of bacon and there was about an in of grease & oil in the bottom of this pan. I began walking away from the fire. All of a sudden, I heard the loud WOOOSH!" Turned around and there is a very large fire about 2ft High coming out of that 15in Frying pan, with Rufus still holding it. What happened was a piece of Bacon had flipped over the edge of the frying pan and the cooking fire ran up the bacon in to the pan with that 1inch of oil and grease and lit up. It was hilarious!

smudge · 06-17-2002, 01:24 PM

Nice one did his hair go on fire or just the breakfast?

Jc · 06-17-2002, 02:37 PM

Unfortunately, just breakfast

Mark · 06-17-2002, 03:03 PM

i'm about to move this to Humor, cause this is not cheap, and its where it belongs....

Jeremiah · 06-17-2002, 04:13 PM

Jc, your story reminds me that there is only two types of campfires, The Smudge and The Inferno. The Smudge is what you use when when your desperatly in need of heat. By hovering over the Smudge you can usually manage to thaw the ice from your hands before being kippered to death. The Inferno is what you use for cooking. Experts on camp cooking claim that your supposed to cook over something called "a bed of glowing coal." The "bed of glowing coals" is a fiction concoted by experts on camp cooking. As a result, the camp cook is frequently pictured, b artists who should have known better, as a tranquil man hunkered down by a bed of glowing coals, turning plump trout in the frying pan with the blade of his hunting knife. In reality, the camp cook is a wildly ditraught individual who charges through waves of heat and spears savegely with a long sharp stick at a burning hunk of meat he had tossed on the grill from twenty feet away. Meat roasted over an Inferno is either raw or extra well done. The cook, if lucky, comes out medium rare. At least thats my experience.....