[Jeff]

mostly so that I can keep my stuff in order on here for easy referring and printing. No need to post, but if I write anything new, I will update it, so check in often.


Ashes

Teardrops trickle drom your blue bloody feet
walking on glass eggshells
the flames flase and threaten
to incinerate
the time we spent together
Million dollar monuments
we visited
useless
extraneous
reflect the hands we held
they fall apart like the brittle
Italian crumbs we shared
Tell me is that
all we shared?
A finger drops
More loosely held now
than a moment ago
the superfluousness and
insubstantiality
is the luxury
and the curse
like a firecracker
explosive
and in a bright flash of
paper floating down
airy
the ashes hit the ground



Dreams

Paralysis takes the
awake mind when
absent from dreams'
painted universes
it cannot paint its own with logic brush
and the account remains ungiven
of foundation for the obvious
less obvious prerequisites
that elude undreaming mind
and an undreamed mind
is unwise in the paralyzed
state of consciousness
thought is bound
like a calf inside
mind's rodeo
dream's bucking bull
is unbound
extending to the
bluish orange sky
it finds a center in the stars
that escapes foundationless
thought
the unwaking logic
of freebird visions




File

The file extended on steel tracks
aluminum of the cabinet
extends its hand with
cold metal gratitude
of the file
that steps unerring
in cold sync
I sink into the
supernatural, superficial
background
in file with the
bounty of mind restraints
go back, with the cold file
following on slipping stone
to your first love
renounce the blood
thirsty harlot that
sacks children's minds
In your honor, cap
the bottled silence
to give a rushing awakening
to the asleep, walking children
on cold stone the
unawakened file
that march to th tune of
Amazing Grace, I Could Sing
so cold, so silent,
so warm the singing
it contrasts the
icy queue


Amend the Sky

Amend the sky
fabric covers your eye
my blinded vision
finds impermeable
opaque, you sit quiet
I am unable to touch
with my extended opticals
can you follow? can you feel?
this probing seems too unreal
let me breathe this
bounty- more than air
let me touch, absorb
the essence of your hair
can you feel me? do you see?
let me hear your heartbeat
can you feel me breathe?
Amend the sky
mend my eye, my touch
against his shackling wishes
remove this blinded vision
Do you follow? Do you feel?
I see your touch, so unreal
let me breathe your hair
absorb your air
I want to fall inside you


Calculation

The unknowing calculation
clever preponderance of knowledge carrots
that fill the blushing ground
or something in such
a similitude-
the miry mind of those
with knowledge for the sake
of complaining
or unknowing wisdom with a reflexive
motivation
Now, when does the cog
fall in place?
the motionless wheel spins
in your head
the calculations meaningless
not attatched to the
world.
The abstract algebra confines
your own experience
and it finds itself a man that saws the branch
he sits on
and falls from
calculate now
the velocity of the fall

The Private Feast

The fears of the public's maitre di (sp?)
roll down in sweat
of private cheeks, to public plates
the vile, voracious, villains feast
the secrets pour into
their antonym at
the delight of
public men that scavenge
like vultures for
the rotting flesh of
an honest man's
dying dreams
both lay equally still
drunk to the point of sleep
chaotic peace of those
who consume their sweaty fears,
and those who taste the private
tears



Extension


I probe the
wandering skies
with starry
sky-eyes
to extend beyond the
chains that bind my
free mind
unfree indeed
the capital escapes my
theistic pronouns
can I then probe
the starry skies?
locked within my
mind eyes
I search for some extension
some base, unmoving
to flow out like
a ladder to the moon
oh inconstant moon,
wait for me
by and by as I
extend beyond mind's eye


Lace

lacey curtains
fringe minds
of the fringe minded
mindless-lace conquers
the priorites of she
is lacey in the finest
sense a confusedness
about her that is
normal despite its strangeness
nay, in its strangeness
that envelopes her
lacey generation
fancy-frilly delicate
fly away on
air lightness that flows
through the patterned
holes in your mind
My confused, delicate girl
try not to think.

Wiseman

Meaningless! Meaningless!
the meaning my wise-mind
wiseman chants
meaning is found to be without foundation
though self holding
it never falls
but I fall
in meaning's search
for to assail
the foundationless stone
leaves me resting on it
and forced into
diplomacy
leaves the wise man unwise

Meaninglessness

Booming
I spout wisdom on my soap box
to enlighten those onlookers
who seek truth
great nothingness, meaninglessness
erupts from
megaphone of false truth
insubstantiated foundation
apparitions
flow quickly
like watered down
tomato paste or
the air that escapes my brain
is substantial in its
own way
come, have your wisdom
added to
by my infinite
foolish wisdom
paradoxial realities fly
through thin paned windows
to your thought patterns
shield your ears
I will lay out your fears
like an oracle of death
prophet of doom
I take my tips with
holy hands

Meaning.

the quest on story book page
gives meaning to the wandering mind
and wandering meaning of minds is lost
in reality's brute, mute facts
the reality of your touch
and of reality's touch on me
never ceases to confuse
as rhyme and reason's search is
given heed by every man
the one says answer not found
indeed is there to see
and he that shows no pattern there
is found to be unknowing
the question answerless
the problem ever growing
death a sweet reprieve
from torture
imprisonment of the mind
in human logic shackles
and forced presupposition


Versatility

challenges
from social races
searching for the center
on stage
my many maske'd characters
prove vital, versatile
and in the reunion, the education, the shrift
my masks at ready hide the tears
the happy-coughs
or bent mouths in either direction
respectively
and my projection saves
the cost of honesty
with frightening
versatility


Assurance

restless assurance
speculation is mine
the sureness of confusion
sure to follow in its definitive unsureness
the realistic paradox
oxy- am I a moron?
oh reality! less real in my own mind . . .
my perceptions could be flawed
though unrelentingly
He forces
like a tyrant God
my mind breaks these
knees that bow not
and definition
presupposition forced
cannot take hold of what might be true
what might be true?
how vexed is human
my human comprehension
lone assurance
in troubled soul
that assurance will never
come.


Remembrance

The banshee haunts
with quiet, chilling
she raises her voice
in quiet chilling
screams
the Ice Cold beams
of steel'ed spikes
that hold me captive even now
the tower's cold stone walls
keep not safe and not free
while dancing with the clouds
my remembrance banshee
memory
roguery
to let the ghosts
the banshees I have created
leave me in my tower of
Ice Cold Stone
is beyond my power
with the
unliftable stone I have created.
oh leave me alone!!
rememberance

Obsidian

obsidian
spews from the volcanic
mouths of ashy churches
the bright darkness
shiny ebony stones
and pearls of evil good
the wisdom spews and is flowing
drying cracked
and the layers fossilizing
understanding
beautiful
brings joy
life-heat in recognition
and the tightness pulls flesh in burning agony
dying nerves as cooling
bright darkness
asphyxiates the joyous
onlookers
bright darkness
asphyxiates the dying
onlookers
bitterly I flee
ash crosses falling
in mocking heresy
from bright darkness
shiny black obsidian

Neuroticism

The home and garden
cameras always on
in absentee measured thoughts
the measure of the skeptic thoughts
overwhelms the para-annoying mind
she strikes in fear
green mother instinct rage
the shrew of tidy
tidying there and here
tidying for unfound fear
the noise is rising to my ear
tick tick tick tick
the madness is in the dust rag
syncronise the clocks
propulsed by pavlovian beatings
and want for patted head
she seeks approval from
the imaginary watchers
home and Garden cameras
in her mind


Gut feelings

The stirring bial
induced nerve reactions
gut feelings captain ship
willy nilly steerings
into glaciers, salt rocks
foolish wisdom
scientific alchemy of
it just feels right
and screw reality
lets repeal the laws of logic
and ordain my digestive organs
all the education done in classes
of Tums and acid reflux
and victomization, destruction
for greater good enforced
to declare martial law
and punish with more than death
invoke longing for release
by orders of acidic
dictator
my gut feeling is
her gut feelings captain ship


Self Image

Look at me
Touch my face
with gift of velvet touch
untouching mark flesh displace
I can feel the vice
criticism pressing mind
tell me
tell me what you think of me
with honest lies
feed me starry, airy skies
let me hear the smell of red
on my cheeks
the blushing-maker
compliment
the foundation shifts
at the angle of your eyes
to wounded striking out
or fed and wanting more
the broken mirror god
demands sacrifice and
holy war
Oh look at me!
and feed me honest lies.

Ratrace


Challenge
A race of rodent claws
On tin netting
or ambiguous cliche
Live all out for him
be on fire
Where did that come from?
Stretching, filing to take hold
Of unclear natured prize
The nature, the reason for the hurry
Seen by unclear seeing eyes
Mind-eyes
And the hired speaker lies
With endorsements of melodious
Propaganda
Of crash-bang-strum
And G-key
Pries into the minds of unwilling men or children
Down throat to force
the crooked testimony
swallow the blackened pill
to aid in race of rodent claws

I edited the last line slightly, it was awkward.



Systematic Confusion

Systematic
Non-erratic
The rhyme is hard to place
To place a mark on this disgrace
Of Christ doctrine, saving grace
The system of systematic lies
Presuppowhat? The confusion
Even in its antithetic property
Can be of help to stifle question askers
Not so antithetic now in reveling light of night
The ordered chaotic confusion
By which the Sheep are taken in
And Sheep-fangs continue digging
The words drip with contradiction
Dogma, the bishop's best friend
Simply believe
Presuppose, and don't ask why
When Jesus comes, you can ask him all you like.

The Last Crusade

Piercing azure opticals
confused presuppositions
England equals lettuce.
thats what they told her
rather all she heard
infant indoctrination
its the race to get there first
The carnival of lies
the mask of bible tries
to confuse presuppositions
with good intentioned lies
within those good intentions lies
the evil of indoctrination
to stifle all the " why " s
and in the hearts of the liars
burns the holy fires
victoms themselves, convinced and devoted friars
can the path be traced ?
to the anterior of AD when truth was first defaced
to the spiders in the hearts of well lobbied apostles
or a fictional character that never left a fossil
The people are shutting up at breakneck velocity
and still it marches on with frightening continuosity

Jeff C. 04/04/2002

Itch

itching ears
I refuse to raise my white flag to waxy orifices
for when the scratching is done
the poison still remains
and here now, as always
it is worth the pain
to let them itch for the greater gain
to take truth of double portions
no matter what the consequence
to refuse the Tick its blood for now
to starve out the winding worm
for to feed it is to be a fool
a sand castle puppet carver
foundationless builders from low intellectual expectation
and fishing sand castle puppets falling in

The Drama

Pressure from the million watts

Laughing til my head comes off

In pools of sweat and tears

The blood flows off the stage

The only actor in my ups and downs

I must keep my masks at ready

Pressure from the million watching eyes

From the five hundred thousand pairs

Watching my drama

My drama

The pressure cracks my tears

Cracks my lips

Cracks the makeup on my brow

And still my mask stays on

Thin breath

The audience seems a million miles away

My song and mask

Millions and millions of miles away

There’s evil in the plot

Decieving in my mask

I cry and cry

And laugh until my head comes off


----------------

Standing on this precipice

The ground is shifting closer

I try to get away

its pulling me closer

Can’t hold on to this ledge any longer

The thoughts are leaving my head

Can’t hold on to my past

My youth is leaving me faster than ever

I can see the ground

The rocks are coming closer

Try to fly away

Got to get away

But it’s pulling me closer

I hear these voices in my head

Tugging at me persistent

Sometimes I wish I could pray

But I feel I’m too distant


---------------------
Teeth clench,
Fingers curl tightly with overlapping thumb,
With wild eyed smile,
A vision of Lover walking,
stepping ever closer.

Arms wrap around delicate torso,
Happy vibration leaps from excited vocal cords,
Eyes dart, canvassing the sight with admiring looks .

This, my God, is what it feels like to know you

Lips curl back with light hearted shout,
Fingers spread out to touch the atmosphere,
With wild eyed smile,
A vision of Lover sitting,
Holds me ever closer.

Hand wraps around delicate existence,
Grateful declaration leaps from redeemed vocal cords,
Eyes stay, focusing on His face with light-blinded looks.

This, my God, is what it feels like to know you.

By Jeff Creel 9/21/01
====================
The Institution of My Life

The lidless skeptic eye

Peers through double paned glass on a rubber wall

And white is all he sees

Is all I see

Ceiling wall and floor

Through chicken wire in the window

Of the padded steel door

Ragged, the man watches

My mind watches in the institution of my life

Watches

And waits

Then screams a violent scream

Wails and claws the padding

Underneath my fingernails

Brittle, cracking rubber and dried blood

All to no avail

The waves of sound die mercilessly in the unending insulaion

Silence

As the lidless skeptic eye

Dismembers bone and marrow

My body down to marrow

In the institution of my life
==========

Thought
I’m quite perplexed by this elusive mystery

Mosaic of comings and goings

Of lies and truth and white lies

Sayings and proverbs we wear as shackles

Until one breaks the norm and becomes by experience its greatest advocate

I do not understand

Why when I place my hands on you I feel the touch of flesh

And when I look down I view my body

Or cross my eyes and see my nose

Do you dream my dreams ?

Are my illusive, illusory nerve reactions common for every being ?

And when I ask you will you only tell me what they want me to believe ?

Are we all the same ?

Am I the only me ?

Or am I just another color on the cosmic pallet of a god ?

Philo Sophia

I am obsessed

Do all men desire knowledge ?
===============
Tiger
Tiger, Tiger, sunset coat,
Your orange pigment does provoke
A sense of dread and respectful fear
In my trembling human heart

In those distant deeps
When burn the fire of thine eyes
On his wings dare he aspire ?
Dare god or man to seize the fire ?

With his shoulder and his art
When he twis’d the sinews of thy heart
And when thy heart began to beat
Did he leap in fear onto his feet ?

With the hammer and the chain
In the furnace with thy brain
With the anvil and dreadful grasp
Did he fear your clawed clasp?

And when the stars were born in tears
By bang of dust heard by no ears
Was this orange pigment made to frighten
God and man or only me?

Tiger, Tiger, sunset coat
Your orange pigment does provoke
A sense of dread and respectful fear
In my trembling human heart

============
Miles deep

In cavernous deeps of aqua marine

Prison

Keeps coral bars

And wrecked dreams

Ships of fortune hunters

Did fortune need be hunted ?

Surrounded

By reminders of this cavernous deep that draws me in

It closes in

I am forgotten

The weight of water on my head

On my lungs

My unneeded ears unravel

Water pressure

I feel the pressure

Skin already turning prunish

Now turning bluish

As the sound is buried

The sights are buried

My mind is buried in this underwater tomb.
=========
Wisdom

look at this wisdom

i have knowledge in my eyes

when i look in the mirror

i see all my lies


staring back at me

is a fool i know too well

my wisdom shall destroy me

this secret i cannot tell


the world is flat

the sky is green

even more than that

so many are the things ive seen


i am an oracle

a prophet of my thoughts

hear these lies i spout

tearing me apart


but to you im only a fool

why am i surprised

my wisdom blanket leaves me cold

my prophecies blind my eyes

==========
Dignity
With dignity
She falls down
With dignity
She struggles and dashes her brow
With dignity
Kicking and screaming
With dignity
She fights it
Bares her teeth
With bestial rage
yet her illusion
Her delusion
She is quiet
She has her dignity
She has not sinned
She is sitting
With dignity

With dignity
She is reading
Sitting just still
To keep the chair from creaking
Yet while the page is speaking
She is absent
Nothing real today
Nothing what it seems
She is sitting
With dignity

She fooled them
Fooled them all
Fooled herself
Is nothing true now?
In her world of smoke
She lit the fire

She is so evasive
Mistress of illusion
She would say why
If she felt she could
Duty a heavier burden
Than those bundles of wood

Now she has gone too far
Feels she can’t go back
It’s part of the disease
She ignores the symptoms
Lest she be caught
At the doctor’s office

She longs
And longs
And struggles and fights
Kicks and screams
Scratches and bites
She’s starved and driven mad
And everything is dark
Her fairytale has shattered
Nothing is bright
nothing is glad

But she would rather starve than eat
Rather gouge her eyes than turn on the light
Rather sit with dignity
Than win the fight
So she sits
With dignity


__________________

[zoe r]

*faints*


You are (and I'm sure you know it...ha) a very talented writer. I really enjoyed reading all of them- and they set one to thinking- even me! hahaha. Anywayskies muchos kudos to you.

One (of many) of my favorite lines:

She’s starved and driven mad
And everything is dark
Her fairytale has shattered
Nothing is bright
nothing is glad

Zoe

[Insane Drummer]

uh i read some of them..... but uh it would take me all night to read all of them...... those are pretty cool....

[froggee501]

I know I don't really need to say this, because you already know that I think you are an awesome poet (I hope you do, at least....), but AWESOME JOB!

[.torrin.]

i gotta say, you are the second best lyricist/poet i have ever heard dude. The first of course is Andrew Schwabb of project 86, but don't feel bad. cain't nobody touch andrew

[HeavenOnAStick]

you should put them one a website, or on mine, once I got the HTML working properly

[Jeff]

I'd rather use the free space here. Plus, I am only putting these straight on the web because I trust all my cgr friends. I am not circulating mainstream.

[Jared]

Jeffbo, you have some really amazing thoughts swimming in that head of yours. I am truly impressed.

[HeavenOnAStick]

I am going to put them on a website because then I can have them in one place when I want them. And once I get more they will be a lot easier to get too, I don't have to search through all of mine.



And also that way I will actaully have something to put on my website!

[Jeff]

I ask you nicely not to put mine on your website please.

[Insane Drummer]

hey dude... you know what i think that if these 2 lines were reversed it would sound better

"
Nothing is bright
nothing is glad
"

just my thoughts.....

take um or leave um whatever


oh btw those are Koo

[HeavenOnAStick]

ok, I wasn't going to unless you asked anyway. I don't have it set up yet, right now i am just writing it out on a notepad, then I am going to put it on.

[Jeff]

Potatos

The potatos in your
plate are simple like
mirrors that reflect
your whole life
youve never left the
path your father chose
Are you happy in the coal mines?
was it worth never fighting back?
you never had to raise
your voice
but you raise your voice
now at your wife
the children become thorns
in your foot
Will hold them back
as well?

Catch

The pits around me open
and I am stricken
with thoughts
of release
did he really see my foot
about to slip?
did he really see it coming?
something
righteous deflects my
sadness, despair
though it seems I
fight every sign of it
could He really win out
in the end?
I am blind to reality
as I look at this
festival mirror
I wonder if life is this distorted
and as my foot is about to slip
he remains anonymous
and catches me when I fall
Is there a reason all
cats land on their feet?
will I be a survivor?
why?
what about my friends
what about my love
that died and fell away
where was he then?
Dont try to give me answers
from your sightless logic
I am not the fittest
I am the least
Why should I survive?

Thought Suey

Out of the frying pan
and into the fire
my doubt is like sinking ship
in shark infested waters
once the hole is made in
faith, presupposition,
mind sinks from
never ending inquisition
like a disease, it
spreads across worldview
tearing you down to
self
and then it hits your
mind's reflection
the center that
you consult
not so Rock Solid
as once thought
and while the Child laughs,
the Realist dies as
doubt assists
mind's suicide

hazy from the inside out

Don't you see my hazy state?
I'll leave the thinking to you
for my mind is hazy
and it shows from the inside
the inside to the out
I place existance as irrelevant
as I send my begging to you
my hazy, hazy cry
from the inside out
hold me with phase shifted arms
and clear my crystal panes
with your breath and hand
for I am hazy
from the inside
from the inside to the out
And my thinking fails, as I
reach the next corner
holding the happy dagger
to my arterial neck
take these brittle fingers
and bring me now from the hog pens
with assurance that I long for
like water
like oxygen
like the morphine fix on the torture
bed. And I long for bed most of all.
so hazy from the inside out.

[Jeff]

the original post is now too long, so I am starting again. This is my newest.

[Scott]

Potatoes-

The whole thing uses enjambment well, which is unusual, well done. Creates an edgy, pulsing feel. Would go well to electronica style rock, with a rather high bpm, or possibly stop/start fast/slow rock stuff like SOAD.

And I know what you mean about putting your stuff on the net, I'm worried about it too, but I'll trust all of you.