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Unread 04-13-2016, 09:13 AM   #16
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No worries! Your all good

1. Yes, I understand. I was really stupid and the only reason I really started dating her when I was 13 was because I wanted a girlfriend. . . Yeah. . . Really dumb.
But you know those girls who practically marry you in their heart before the question is even close to being popped? Well, she's one of those girls. She's already made her entire life plans revolving around me, and I feel bad that I even dated her in the first place now.
2. I understand that I still live under their roof. I will still be 100% pleased with going to a baptist church for that period, but I just feel like it will be awkward.
Dad lets me preach and sing all the time, but I feel like he won't let me anymore if he's afraid I'll start speaking in tongues or something.
3. No, I don't believe certain gifts are required. I completely believe that all my baptist friends are still saved.

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Unread 04-13-2016, 09:41 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by PKguitarist View Post
No worries! Your all good

1. Yes, I understand. I was really stupid and the only reason I really started dating her when I was 13 was because I wanted a girlfriend. . . Yeah. . . Really dumb.
But you know those girls who practically marry you in their heart before the question is even close to being popped? Well, she's one of those girls. She's already made her entire life plans revolving around me, and I feel bad that I even dated her in the first place now.
2. I understand that I still live under their roof. I will still be 100% pleased with going to a baptist church for that period, but I just feel like it will be awkward.
Dad lets me preach and sing all the time, but I feel like he won't let me anymore if he's afraid I'll start speaking in tongues or something.
3. No, I don't believe certain gifts are required. I completely believe that all my baptist friends are still saved.
I believe that you can work through all this by being open, honest, and respectful to all involved.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 10:06 AM   #18
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I know this isn't directly related to what you asked, but if you feel that way about your girlfriend (you stated you feel bad that you even dated her in the first place) I would encourage you to go ahead and end it. You do not need to keep leading her along if you feel you regret it.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 10:22 AM   #19
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I know this isn't directly related to what you asked, but if you feel that way about your girlfriend (you stated you feel bad that you even dated her in the first place) I would encourage you to go ahead and end it. You do not need to keep leading her along if you feel you regret it.
I completely agree. I don't want to lead her on. I never meant to lead her on. I want to tell her, just haven't mustered up the guts yet.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 10:28 AM   #20
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I completely agree. I don't want to lead her on. I never meant to lead her on. I want to tell her, just haven't mustered up the guts yet.
I would advise doing that first. If you bring up the theology to her first, she may think you still want to be in a relationship and may try and make it work. I know you stated that probably isn't the case, but you never know. Instead, by doing this first, you avoid the potential of another awkward conversation later.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 10:33 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by PKguitarist View Post
1. Yes, I understand. I was really stupid and the only reason I really started dating her when I was 13 was because I wanted a girlfriend. . . Yeah. . . Really dumb.
But you know those girls who practically marry you in their heart before the question is even close to being popped? Well, she's one of those girls. She's already made her entire life plans revolving around me, and I feel bad that I even dated her in the first place now.
This does not sound like a healthy relationship. I know all dating relationships are kind of weird and not really mature yet when you're 16 (how could they be? You're both still figuring all this adulting stuff out), but this seems fairly concerning. Especially if you feel bad that you even dated her to begin with. If you don't want to be in this relationship, you don't have to be. I agree with bravesfan007.

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I believe that you can work through all this by being open, honest, and respectful to all involved.
Seconded.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 11:00 AM   #22
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I would advise doing that first. If you bring up the theology to her first, she may think you still want to be in a relationship and may try and make it work. I know you stated that probably isn't the case, but you never know. Instead, by doing this first, you avoid the potential of another awkward conversation later.
Wait, you advise just breaking off the relationship for no reason instead of telling her my change of denomination?
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Unread 04-13-2016, 11:05 AM   #23
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If you don't want to be in this relationship, you don't have to be.
I really wish it was that simple. I just don't want to break the girl's heart.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 12:20 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by PKguitarist View Post
Wait, you advise just breaking off the relationship for no reason instead of telling her my change of denomination?
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I really wish it was that simple. I just don't want to break the girl's heart.
Listen to me when I say this. It IS that simple. You have just told us that you feel bad that you were even dating her. I would say that's a pretty good reason to break it off. Once again, if you are not 100% honest about things, you don't have a healthy relationship and you don't need to be in it. You talk about breaking her heart. Hurting her now because you're being honest is much better than continuing on a relationship with lies. You do see that? Right?
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Unread 04-13-2016, 12:23 PM   #25
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Yeah, I see that.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 12:29 PM   #26
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Yeah, I see that.
Please don't think I'm scolding you. That is not my intent. Keep in mind that I'm 45 years old and have two sons (one is about your age and one is married). I have been married for 25 years. I'm just trying to share some lessons I have learned (many through my own mistakes) over the years.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 12:46 PM   #27
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I understand, but what I meant by feeling bad I ever dated her was that I feel bad that I started it now because I know it most likely won't work. I'm not saying I don't have feelings for her anymore. . . I still wish it could work, but I just don't see it happening and I don't want to expect it to happen.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 12:56 PM   #28
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I understand, but what I meant by feeling bad I ever dated her was that I feel bad that I started it now because I know it most likely won't work. I'm not saying I don't have feelings for her anymore. . . I still wish it could work, but I just don't see it happening and I don't want to expect it to happen.
You should probably tell her the same thing.
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Unread 04-13-2016, 12:58 PM   #29
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That I don't see it working?
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Unread 04-13-2016, 02:37 PM   #30
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That I don't see it working?
Yep.
It's going to be difficult. And it's going to hurt. She will be upset. You probably will be too. But then, after a little while, you will both be better off because of it.
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