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Unread 04-06-2016, 03:24 AM   #1
Lo, He comes...
 
IsaactheSyrian's Avatar
 

Joined: Apr 2002
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 8,934
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Serious depression

Hi all,

I need prayer. My depression that I've been struggling with for most of my adult life is continuing to kick my butt, and I really need a clear, efficient head right now. My pastor is worried about me, he sends me an email to check up on me if he doesn't see me at Liturgy. And it's super awesome to know I'm being prayed for, but still, life is sucking right now. I'm having thoughts that range from 'I'm too messed up for God to love or for the Church to help work out my salvation, and I'm a waste of everyone's time", to that I'll never amount to anything and be a loser all my life.

At the moment my only comfort is that really, the Kingdom of God is for losers, because blessed are the poor in spirit.

__________________
I believe, O Lord, and I confess, that You are truly the Christ, the Son of the Living God, who came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the chief...
~ Ryan Isaac

Lo! How a rose e'er blooming from tender stem hath sprung,
Of Jesse's lineage coming, as seers of old hath sung,
It came a flower bright, amid the cold of winter,
When half-spent was the night.

Isaiah t'was foretold it, the rose I have in mind,
With Mary we behold it, the Virgin Mother kind,
To show God's love aright, she bore to us a Saviour,
When half-spent was the night.

O flower whose fragrance tender with gladness fills the air,
Dispel with glorious speldour the darkness everywhere,
True man, yet very God! From sin and death He saves us,
And lightens every load.

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Unread 04-06-2016, 05:55 AM   #2
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I'll pray for you bro

Stay strong
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Unread 04-06-2016, 11:20 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IsaactheSyrian View Post
Hi all,

I need prayer. My depression that I've been struggling with for most of my adult life is continuing to kick my butt, and I really need a clear, efficient head right now. My pastor is worried about me, he sends me an email to check up on me if he doesn't see me at Liturgy. And it's super awesome to know I'm being prayed for, but still, life is sucking right now. I'm having thoughts that range from 'I'm too messed up for God to love or for the Church to help work out my salvation, and I'm a waste of everyone's time", to that I'll never amount to anything and be a loser all my life.

At the moment my only comfort is that really, the Kingdom of God is for losers, because blessed are the poor in spirit.
I am praying for you. Depression sucks. I see it everyday at work
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Unread 04-06-2016, 12:29 PM   #4
Hipper Than Thou
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Praying my brother.

Grace and peace to you.
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Unread 04-08-2016, 03:13 AM   #5
Lo, He comes...
 
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Joined: Apr 2002
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 8,934
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Thanks guys.

I'm going to talk to my disability advisor tomorrow to see if there's something I can do about the rest of my papers and exams. I've been crying myself to sleep some nights this week, but some days are good. It's a struggle. Earlier I was remarking to a friend about how some nights I sort of just wish I would die in my sleep so I don't have to continue to feel crushing worthlessness all the time.
__________________
I believe, O Lord, and I confess, that You are truly the Christ, the Son of the Living God, who came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the chief...
~ Ryan Isaac

Lo! How a rose e'er blooming from tender stem hath sprung,
Of Jesse's lineage coming, as seers of old hath sung,
It came a flower bright, amid the cold of winter,
When half-spent was the night.

Isaiah t'was foretold it, the rose I have in mind,
With Mary we behold it, the Virgin Mother kind,
To show God's love aright, she bore to us a Saviour,
When half-spent was the night.

O flower whose fragrance tender with gladness fills the air,
Dispel with glorious speldour the darkness everywhere,
True man, yet very God! From sin and death He saves us,
And lightens every load.

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Unread 04-08-2016, 03:41 PM   #6
Lo, He comes...
 
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Joined: Apr 2002
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 8,934
paid
It turns out one of my profs had contacted Access and Diversity (my university's disability office, which I'm registered with) with concerns about me, and my advisor contacted me.

Turns out that system (profs are supposed to look out for students who seem to be struggling with mental health issues and contact appropriate resources on their behalf) works.
__________________
I believe, O Lord, and I confess, that You are truly the Christ, the Son of the Living God, who came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the chief...
~ Ryan Isaac

Lo! How a rose e'er blooming from tender stem hath sprung,
Of Jesse's lineage coming, as seers of old hath sung,
It came a flower bright, amid the cold of winter,
When half-spent was the night.

Isaiah t'was foretold it, the rose I have in mind,
With Mary we behold it, the Virgin Mother kind,
To show God's love aright, she bore to us a Saviour,
When half-spent was the night.

O flower whose fragrance tender with gladness fills the air,
Dispel with glorious speldour the darkness everywhere,
True man, yet very God! From sin and death He saves us,
And lightens every load.

IsaactheSyrian is offline   Reply With Quote
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