I would say you have gotten yourself in quite a mess there and there is not going to be an easy fix.
There are the issues of sexual immorality, and such which greatly complicate the issue. The way I see this laid out, it looks to me like you are attempting to find confirmation you should kick her out. I don't say that to be unkind or anything, it just looks to me as if that is where you are heading here.
As a married man for almost 10 years I do want to point out a Proverb that is nearly always true. Proverbs 18:17 The first to plead his case seems right, Until another comes and examines him.
My point in bringing this up is there are two sides to this story across the board. We are by virtue of the medium only going to get one side here. This means the advice we give would be tainted by being an incomplete view.
However, I would seriously look to some local counsel if there is some. Someone who can see all sides of this would be ideal. I would try a local pastor.
With those caveats I would say my gut instinct would be to look at a change in the relationship where you no longer are living in immorality whatever that takes.
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