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Originally Posted by gnr991 First off if this is in the wrong place MOVE IT, now that that is off my chest ,lol, lets move on.
Well ive been around for a while, long enough to notice that a whole bunch of people, you know who you are (this includes me), say that we LOVE someone and that might be paralell with our understanding of love. But do we really LOVE them or is it blind infatuation that we are feeling.
See im 17 and i think that i love this girl but how do i know that i really do. in my other thread ,SOoooooooo Confused, i was asked that question how do you know that you love her. i was shocked when i couldnt think of anything except THe love is patient, love is kind verse in Galations i believe.
Soo what im asking is for all of you enlightend chapps and chappeses out there could you explain to us poor souls what real LOVE is so we can understand. it kinda helps to have it come from someone who is a little farther down the road than us.
Thanks so much, ill see you later. |
What has been helpful for me is realizing that the English language uses the word "LOVE" as a bit of a junk drawer for countless emotions, actions, and relationships. I've read that some languages have as many as 20 different words for what we all lump together into one word, "Love."
When I started looking into things I read that Greek had four different words which we translate all of them to LOVE in English. While what I'm about to write isn't great scholarly work on the Greek language, it may be helpful for you to think through what LOVE really means.
FOUR LOVES IN GREEK STORGE | Fondness or Nurturing Love - You have a nurturing love for your family
- You have a nurturing love for your friends
- You have a nurturing love for your spouse and children
PHILIA | Friendship Love
This is the is the word by which Philadelphia was named.
This type of LOVE is fairly easy to understand. It's the bond you have with friends. It's the bond you have with people you choose to spend your time with.
Your spouse is in someways an extreme example of philia. They are the friend you choose to bond your life with.
EROS | Passion & Romance
This is the emotion of romantic LOVE. When people talk about falling in or out of love, they are talking about EROS. This is probably the LOVE you are wondering if you have. If you're asking, you probably do have this love. BUT real marriages require more than just this love. They require the other loves.
AGAPE | Unconditional Love | Commitment
This is the love that God has for us. It is a love that is not based on performance or activity. This is the love described in 1 Corinthians 13. This is the love you mentioned (it's in 1 Corinthians not Galatians

). This love means you are all in. It's more than emotion (those fade at times). It's a love which chooses to love no matter what.
Real love that lasts requires all four loves, and the four loves work together. I can't say if that is what you have. But you are probably experiencing some of the forms of love. When people talk about being too young to marry, they're really commenting on how we perceive someone's ability to understand all these complex emotions and experiences. All of us get better at this to varying degrees as we get older.
I've written more on this on my personal blog:
The SHOCKING Truth About Love! …it means more than you think it means!