[Suzuki]

I'm currently a senior in college, going to grad school soon and I have very limited career options with my degree, and I'm not sure if I will even enjoy those career options, so I've fallen into a pit of pessimism and lack of motivation; possibly borderline depression. Many factors are outside my control. This is going to be a combination of seeking help, ranting, and complaining, so be warned.

I've always had an intense passion for aviation. I wanted to join the military and fly; that is, until I found that I have 20/200 vision, Crohn's disease, an autoimmune liver disease, and kyphosis--the latter 3 are unwaiverable and automatically disqualify me from military service in any branch in any capacity. Plans A and B shot down in a massive fireball. Forget about commercial aviation. I'll be lucky if I get rich enough to fly as a hobby.

Right now I'm majoring in the Japanese language. Which leads me into 3 possible career fields:

1. Business. I hate business. I hate monkey suits. I hate 9 to 5. I just don't have a business-oriented mind.

2. Translation. Possibly, but from what I've heard it's an extremely stressful job with loads of work and little pay.

3. Teaching. This is my main focus, since I still get to use the language and I get quite a bit of paid vacation time. However, I still have issues with teaching:

I was planning on doing the JET program, being an English teaching assistant at Japanese high schools for a year or two, in order to get a feel for teaching as well as improving my fluency in the language (I live in a city with less than 300 Japanese people, so maintaining my language skills is next to impossible). Due to extenuating circumstances, I won't be able to do that for another two and a half years, which means I'm being forced into grad school, essentially going in blind--not knowing if I will enjoy teaching or not.

Which leads me into more problems. I have to take the GRE for grad school. The GRE is a pointless test that is completely irrelevant. They claim the math section assesses your problem solving ability. I'm an excellent problem solver, but my math skills are on the low side of average. In fact, I haven't used math beyond simple addition/multiplication in over 4 years. Throw in a vocabulary test with words that haven't been in common usage since the 1940s and you get a test that's worth as much as toilet paper. Adding to that, I have to write a 50 page "thesis" in order to graduate. A thesis is a sentence at the end of a paragraph, not a 50 page paper, and my brain is completely incapable of writing 50 pages on anything (hence why I managed to fail English Composition three times while getting straight As in Japanese). It will be a miracle if I get through grad school without having a nervous breakdown.

To even further complicate things, I have Asperger's Syndrome. Now I'm not full-throttle weirdo, but I have enough of the side-effects for it to be a major thorn in my side. I take things (i.e. everything) too literally. I have very little social skills, and during times of stress (like now) I have zero social skills. It's to the point where when I'm in a social environment (the more people the worse it is), my mind will just shut down. In my 24 years in this world I still have not found the correct response to "what's up". I didn't even know body language existed until I read a book about it two years ago. I don't talk to people unless I want something from them. At times I get so tired of people in general I want to live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere by myself. Networking is something I have no concept of, and no desire to do. Things that don't interest me, and aren't enjoyable, I will not do. Period. And there's very little I (or anyone else) can do to motivate me to do things I dislike. And as I mentioned earlier, during times of stress these disabilities are amplified to the nth degree. These are all major handicaps when looking for a career, or even a part-time job.

In conclusion, the one thing I have left is still being brought down by the one thing I have very little control over (Asperger's) and I'm losing motivation to even try. I feel like a useless sack of flesh that can't contribute to society or the world.

[Thrash]

What made you decide you wanted to major in Japanese? Just wondering.

Can you move in with your family while you wait to be able to teach? Or perhaps instead of going to grad school you could take up some menial job to save up a little bot of money. Or you could, perhaps, while you wait attend some classes at a community college, or a cheap college close to you, that may help prepare you for teaching?

You aren't worthless. Seriously. Academia isn't the sole determinant of a person's worth or abilities.

[Ridley's Own]

Originally Posted by Suzuki

Right now I'm majoring in the Japanese language. Which leads me into 3 possible career fields:

1. Business. I hate business. I hate monkey suits. I hate 9 to 5. I just don't have a business-oriented mind.

2. Translation. Possibly, but from what I've heard it's an extremely stressful job with loads of work and little pay.

3. Teaching. This is my main focus, since I still get to use the language and I get quite a bit of paid vacation time. However, I still have issues with teaching:

I think you have many, many many more career options than what you are assuming here. For example, the intelligence community is hiring hand over fist, and not just the three-letter agencies. Commerce, State, Agriculture, Homeland Security, etc., all intentionally look for language specialists and maintain their own intelligence communities. I went to USAJobs.gov, and in two minutes I found 3 jobs that required Japanese fluency.

You're never going to have the perfect job, so learn to deal.

I was planning on doing the JET program, being an English teaching assistant at Japanese high schools for a year or two, in order to get a feel for teaching as well as improving my fluency in the language (I live in a city with less than 300 Japanese people, so maintaining my language skills is next to impossible). Due to extenuating circumstances, I won't be able to do that for another two and a half years, which means I'm being forced into grad school, essentially going in blind--not knowing if I will enjoy teaching or not.

Is your grad degree in education or Japanese?

Which leads me into more problems. I have to take the GRE for grad school. The GRE is a pointless test that is completely irrelevant.

IF you approach it like that, then your score will be irrelevant. It's relevant because you have to take it, regardless of what you think about it. Here's the hardest thing that a someone with Aspergers is going hear... You are not the center of the universe! Whether you think it or not, the GRE does give a good picture of graduate students' capabilities. If you're concerned about how well it reflects your abilities, take a GRE prep course. Also, since you have Asperger's (which I'm assuming has been diagnosed by a doctor), then technically you should be able to access concessions on the test... Extra time, being given the test on your own and not in a group of people, that sort of thing. Take advantage of those.

Adding to that, I have to write a 50 page "thesis" in order to graduate. A thesis is a sentence at the end of a paragraph, not a 50 page paper, and my brain is completely incapable of writing 50 pages on anything (hence why I managed to fail English Composition three times while getting straight As in Japanese). It will be a miracle if I get through grad school without having a nervous breakdown.

Then what you're going to ahve to do (and this dovetails with what I'm going to say below) is to A). make close personal friends with the writing workshop people or an English professor. Your Grad school advisor will help you with this . And B). go see a counselor. Your'e entering a place where social skills and the ability to express yourself in a socially acceptable way is goignt o be important. Dont' wanna breakdown? See someone.

To even further complicate things, I have Asperger's Syndrome.

No kidding...

And there's very little I (or anyone else) can do to motivate me to do things I dislike. And as I mentioned earlier, during times of stress these disabilities are amplified to the nth degree. These are all major handicaps when looking for a career, or even a part-time job.

Then you're going to have to learn the social skills in the same way you learned Japanese or math or anyother subject. Seeing a counselor who specializes in Aspergers is going to be key. You don't have any control over having Asperger's.... But you do have control over how you cope with having Asperger's. You can choose to adapt or you can choose not to. One of which will be immensely difficult but the pay off is a happy life. The other option is easy but you'll be miserable... And so will everyone else around you. Your call.

[darfaz]

One option you may want to consider is a MAT, master of arts in teaching. It is a master's degree, but you typically don't need to take the GRE to get into the program. While not the sexiest of master's degrees you can find out if you even like teaching and you can get a teaching certificate. May be something to think about. Many adults who decide to change careers and become teachers choose this route.