[acrossthesirion]

My wife recently confessed to me that she's developed a relationship with someone else over the past few weeks...

They've kissed once but she's said nothing more.

She is the only real relationship I've ever had (we've been married almost 2 years now) and it's been devastating. I can't sleep or eat because it's so overwhelming.

We could both really use prayer right now.

We stayed up all night and talked and we're both committed to our marriage and each other but obviously a whole lot of rebuilding needs to be done. She's promised me to end whatever relationship there is.

I need advice. Normally she's my home and comfort, but she can't be right now. I'm normally a very stable person, and I've never felt this sad, betrayed or angry before. I hate feeling that way towards her because I deeply love and care about her.

How do I find forgiveness?

[Pauler]

i dont know how you would find forgiveness, although i know there is forgiveness in Christ. praying for you and your wife.

[SccHarpGirl]

Oh, wow, I'm so sorry dude. That's awful.

I'm not married, but my main advice would be not to try to deal with this alone. Seek out a pastor, or a Christian counselor, and try to work through this with help. Couples counseling would be ideal, but if she doesn't want to, then go alone. It's going to take a lot of work to rebuild your marriage to the point where trust can be reestablished. But it definitely can be done. I'm glad to hear that she chose to confess to you and agreed to put it behind her. I will be praying for both of you and for your marriage.

[Thrash]

Praying for you, man.

[Ted Logan]

I agree with Noelle on all counts, and will be praying.

[acrossthesirion]

We've already had two counseling sessions. We're moving slow, but we're moving. We've prayed together as a couple more now than ever before. In an odd way I'm almost excited about the counseling (my parents recommend a Christian counselor they've seen).

I want to be the best husband I can possibly be for her. I'm focusing on my actions and on pursuing her again (something I stopped doing) as well as continuing to pursue God. I know I can't control her, but I want to do my best to invite her to join me again. We both know that God's grace is enough for us. Even when we fail, God is faithful.

Thanks everyone for the continued prayers.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

I will join in the prayers.

All I can say is, don't give up.

[acrossthesirion]

Update:
Thank you to everyone who's continued to pray.

We're attending counseling once a week, and have had two big breakthrough conversations on our own over the past two weeks. Although I know a lot of work needs to be done, I'm no longer constantly worried about whether or not our marriage will make it.

I'll still get overwhelmed by everyone thing once in a while, where all the memories come flooding back, but it's less and less each day.

Thanks again to everyone.

[JcWarrior76]

Know that the individuals need to take care of what ever it is that drives them to find their identity in others or even each other. The identity needs to be found and based in God. We all have things in life that drives us to find comfort and self worth in physical or mental things. For some it is money, some alcohol and drugs, some its acceptance by others. The list goes on. I only know this because I have been there and on our 5th year of working thru this very issue. We just renewed our vows this last Oct. It took us that long to gain the trust and work through our own personal identities in Christ. Keep at it. It is tuff and requires both parties to make it happen. Remember relationship is tough. People are not the same. Just focus on who you are and that you can never change anyone no matter how hard you try. Pray for the other involved and work on yourself to become better for you and God.
God Bless

JcWarrior