I'm a member, but just to be safe I'd rather post anonymously (I know some people who could happen across this and recognize me).

Over the weekend, a friend of mine was out of town visiting some friends of ours who live in New York, and she had to spend one night at this guy's house. It wasn't anything sketchy -- his parents were home, and she was sleeping in her own bedroom. His family were the only ones who had offered to put her up, and it was just one night, so it seemed fine.

The next morning, she was using their bathroom to take a shower, and when she was getting out, she noticed something weird-looking in the corner. When she took a closer look, she realized that it was a digital camera. The guy had hidden a camera in a pile of stuff in the corner, and had set it to videotape her while she was changing and showering. Obviously, she completely flipped out; she deleted everything off the camera and furiously confronted the guy. He admitted that he had done it, and went on this long apology about how he knew how disrespectful and immature it was, how he has problems, etc. etc. He also claimed that this was the first time he'd ever done something like that, though obviously we both have a hard time believing that. She packed her stuff and left immediately, and hasn't said anything else to him yet.

The question is whether we have an obligation to report this, as in report it to the police. The awkward thing is that he's a pretty good friend of both of ours, and not someone we would have EVER expected to do this kind of thing. We want to hope that he was embarrassed and scared enough by being caught that he won't do it again, and honestly neither of us want to drag the law into it (even my friend has said that she would feel weird about going so far as to call the police on him). At the same time, what he did IS illegal, and the main thing is that we have no idea whether this was a one time thing or whether he has a history, and we were just the first ones to find out.

What do you think? Is it necessary to try to get this guy arrested? Is there anyone else my friend should report it to? Please help. She's seriously freaked out and could use some guidance.

[OiBoyz]

He was videotaping in his own home. Disgusting, yes. But is it illegal? Not always. Is she an adult? If she's not, that could change the answer.

I would lean towards filing a police report. But if he destroys evidence, it's just he said, she said. He could claim she was a willing participant who changed her mind. As skeevy as this is,I doubt much will come of it. But the police report would start a paper trail that might be useful in future crimes.

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by OiBoyz

He was videotaping in his own home. Disgusting, yes. But is it illegal? Not always. Is she an adult? If she's not, that could change the answer.

It may have been legal to film the living room, but filming someone showering has to be illegal without their consent. (I am not a lawyer, this is just my common sense opinion.)

Whatever you decide, please do not call this person a friend. He is clearly not your friend or he wouldn't have done this.

If you don't tell the police, at least tell his parents.

[MtlMom]

She should file a police report. As OiBoyz said, it will start a paper trail on this guy. Hopefully there will never be another incident, but if there is, she may be the only person who can give credibility to another woman's claim.

[roscoestring]

She should have taken the camera to the police or held it and called the police to come there. Once she erased it the evidence was pretty much gone. A report is a start. The crime would not be looked at as seriously with a 12 year old as it would be with a 30 year old. However, it should be addressed no matter what thier age. Afterall, 12 year olds do grow up and their fetishes may grow into something more serious. I wouldn't drop it if I were in her shoes.

[redbaron]

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

It may have been legal to film the living room, but filming someone showering has to be illegal without their consent. (I am not a lawyer, this is just my common sense opinion.)

Whatever you decide, please do not call this person a friend. He is clearly not your friend or he wouldn't have done this.

If you don't tell the police, at least tell his parents.

Pretty sure you're right. There's an expectation of privacy, which is why stores that have surveillance (and posted signs warning you that they're doing that) can't legally post any in the bathrooms.

In so much as it's legal to photograph someone in a public place, there are issues when you start taking pictures without their consent where they have a reasonable expectation of privacy (non public places). A bathroom definitely qualifies. They won't be able to do anything since she deleted the pictures unfortunately, but it wasn't just a lapse of judgement and in poor taste, it was a crime that falls under sexual assault.

As Mrs. M said, it may be the paper trail that helps another woman in the future if he doesn't change his ways.

[Epaphras]

I'll echo what's been said already: a police report won't hurt but no charges will likely be filed because of the lack of evidence. A civil suit would be just as problematic as there was no lasting harm (it's not as if she didn't notice the camera until somehow she came across the video on the Internet) and again, no evidence.

I believe the case you describe is an invasion of privacy. Even if it's a private home, I think the legal standard (but I'm not a lawyer) is that you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in the bathroom. This I'd why you can generally photograph or take video of anyone in public, because you can't have a reasonable expectation of privacy while in public. So if for example he videotaped her on a public nude beach and it was not against the law to do so (just rude and innappropriate), there would be no case there.

Since there is likely no legal resolution here, she can either just leave it between him and her and she draws a firm boundary with him, if not sever the relationship, or you can give him a day or two to tell his parents what happened since it was under their roof. If not, you can choose to tell them about it.

If he is a professing Christian in a Christian home, I personally think it does need to be adressed (no pun intended) with his parents, with the goal of rehabilitation or professional help for him (as you said, he confessed to having a problem) and sanctification. That doesn't mean your relationship needs to be reconciled or that you need to stay friends, but I think grace demands us to "go the extra mile" to see that he gets the help and support he needs, then leaving him on the right path. Especially since he didn't actually see you, this will hopefully be a big wakeup call for him.

[DaGeek]

Also, to add to the excellent advice above, I wanted to add that, depending on his usage of the camera since or his skill with permanently erasing things, it could be possible to recover the deleted footage as evidence. There may be something in the technology used that makes this suggestion useless, but I'd look into it if I were you and see what can be done there.

[Dwight Schrute]

what DaGeek said. it would be incredibly simple to recover the information off that camera. but the root question remains - is it illegal to video something inside your own home with or without consent? if there are minors involved, that is a different story. but they can easily take the camera as evidence and get the evidence off there. it would possibly come down to a matter of consent - but again, if there are minors involved, that may not matter.

I find this whole thing terribly tragic. if their idea of friendship boils down to using someone's body to indulge their fantasies, I'd say they are not your friend. this person is quite sick and is on a very dangerous and tragic path. I'd recommend your friend going to that person's parents about this first. unless of course this is a matter of legality, I just don't know about that. a call to the local police for advice wouldn't be out of bounds. and in your case, you are somewhat stuck between them both and for that I am sorry.

[Epaphras]

I think there is a consensus that if minors are involved, the parents certainly need to be brought into this. If the girl was a minor (regardless of his age) at the time of the incident, I think both the parents and the police need to be involved as well. If she is a minor and he is not, that is just about the worst case scenario for him, especially if the evidence can be recovered. The consent issue is moot at that point. If neither are minors, even with the video it would be a his-word-against-hers situation where a slick lawyer of his could argue that she verbally agreed to it but is changing her mind now. Although I can't imagine a judge who would assume a voyeur video was a staged event with a consenting subject.

I think the other posters are correct in that the information (pictures or video) can still be recovered, especially if no new information was written on the hard drive or memory card since the incident. Simple programs like CardRecovery could do the job. This is dubious for her because the perpetrator could easily still recover the pics/video even if she deleted them off the camera, so she is still at risk. I would imagine the police would have much more sophisticated recovery programs to scrub the hard drive or memory card for the evidence.

[Dwight Schrute]

when my hard drive crashed, I used some very high level tools to pry old pics and videos off my SD cards to salvage what I could. they are quite effective, though a savvy enough person could blitz the card with enough ones and zeros to render it unrecoverable. but going the other way, even if she erased the video from the camera, there is no guarantee that video is gone from the pervert's possession.

[Hafaka728]

Thanks a lot..

[Dwight Schrute]

^{Luke 8:17} For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.