[buckl114]

In my life i have only dated two girls. The first, slept with another guy, early in our relationship, asked for forgivness, from me and from God. I forgave her, and two days later she dumped me. My second girl friend seemed like the nicest girl alive. Everything was going well until about six months ago we broke up. She told me that she had cheated on me with several other guys, and had a crush on someone else. Again, I forgave her for everything that she had done. At the time i thought things like "it must be me, thats why she cheated on me." Thought like that didn't help my already severe deppression. My deppresion and being hurt by these girls has only complicated my current situation.

In the past week or two, i have been talking to a girl that i liked. We had movie nights, hung out, talked, etc.

Oh, and it may be important to mention that i had asked her out on a date, with just the two of us three or four years ago.

About a month ago now, this girl started dating someone else. We still talk and are still friends. Yesterday, i told her about how i felt. She told me that if I had asked now, before her and her current boy friend were dating, that she deffinatly would have said yes to me.

This news made me feel better, but now im stuck in a rut.

I trust in God for everything, so He was the first source of wisdom i searched for advice. I read the bible, and have found little on the following subject. When I pray, I ask for God's will in this matter, but im not sure what he is telling me.

Should I continue to maintain a friendship, and watch her drift away. Become closer friends with her and her new boy friend, no matter how awkward that may be. Or just let the relationship fade completly? I don't want to lose a friend, I know that would not be benificial for my deppression, but on the other hand, i don't want the thought of them together to further my deppression. Advice?

[Rainer.]

Remember that she decided that you're not in a relationship with her when she decided to pursue her current boyfriend. Sometimes we just get blind and expect God's will to make our decisions for us. God wants us to trust that He is in charge of everything, and God wants us to simply obey His commands and love others. If you are doing that, then you are doing God's will.

That said, can you be truly loving to her if you become closer friends with her? If you can't let go of your desire to be with her, then you are trying out of obsession and not out of love. If you need to let go of the friendship for the good of yourself and her, then let go of the friendship and let it fade away, but remember that it is always easier the sooner you do it.

[deana]

Wow Rainer , thats such sound advice.. .and buckl... stay strong keep the faith