[RcL_Raptor]

I play because I feel it's a talent God gave to me and I don't want to waste it on anything else. I know what it's like to have taken that talent for granted and lose it for a while. In college, I got pretty full of myself and when I was asked to lead worship out our BCM at the last minute, I rudely refused. Beginning that day for three years, I was never asked to lead or play anywhere. After much praying, God finally gave me a chance to play again, and now I play for him.

[ABPOS]

I'll try to give story in brief. As a late teen I picked up the guitar. I was very unstable emotionally as I FELT like I had a hard childhood. Parents divorce, somewhat abusive father before divorce, etc. Family stuff. And music moved me as a teen. Deeply. So I met people that liked music, started singing in a band. I lived on a farm in a Suburban area and we had all that room to play. I then desired to play guitar. So I learned. And from then on I lived to play and played to live. Started bands, played drums in a band, had friends that were in bands, my life was all about music. Completely. I did work in landscaping after high school, but it was just to pay the bills so I could live and buy the gear I needed. I got hooked up with some pretty good musicians and had a lot of fun times and wrote a ton of music and played small shows here and there. And recorded some. But it never went anywhere. And all the while I tried to fill that proverbial hole in my heart where God needed to be. So, the harder I tried, the more desperate I felt. At some point, music didn't fulfill me any more and I was desperate for lifes answer. I was depressed, angry about my life and probably too influenced by the negative music I was listening to. Think 90's grunge and alternative, and throw in 60's/70's rock. Especially the beatles. My favorite Alternative band was the pixies and had others I listened to and liked.

Then God did a wonderful thing and saved me from myself. I was dwelling on all my problems, negative emotions and was very, depressed. I nearly took my own life one night but God intervened with a friend. And then God placed people in my life that helped me to start to open up my heart to God. Who I had turned my back on for many reasons. Well, what I thought were good reasons, but weren't.

When I got saved, I stopped playing music all together. From the age of 17 to 24 I had been really involved in music, and I put it all away. Sold all my guitars except my acoustic, my amp, etc etc. To be honest, I don't even remember what happened to my amp. I must've sold it to someone. Sold my drums.

Then fast forward. Got married, was attending a new church with my wife after being married for a little whille. I was attending another church but we found something that fit us better as a couple. And they needed a drummer. I told them I could. So I started playing drums. Then that church grew and got some drummers and I played bass because that's what they needed. I have some really fond times of playing in that church. And I did it originally to serve God. However, I do think at some point the focus was more on my own power. I have never been a showboat and like I said, I played to fill in. But I think I wanted people to look up to my talents. And it became more about me. There were some very worshipful times, yet I think I might not have had the complete right attitude about it.

Then I got really sick. Chronically. And weirdly. My guts just stopped working. I lost 20 lbs in one month, and I'm not very big to begin with and my food just wouldn't digest. I felt lousy 24/7. And at first, nobody knew what to do with me. I thought I was going to die. Because I was getting worse. Anyways, it was bad and I had to stop playing on the worship team. There were lots of reasons for my sickness, but too complicated to mention now.

Fast forward, a lot more changes happened in my life due to illness. I clung to God and watched him take care of our family. After getting better and going to a newer church closer to home, they asked me to play the guitar in the worship service. I still can't commit to it regularly. But I do play for the AWANA cubbies. Last year was my first year and it went pretty well. My health still isn't great, but it's getting better. (although I'm home sick with the flu right now, which is why I have time to write all this).

I am at a point that the only reason I play music, is to glorify God. I have picked up playing guitar passionately and regularly. I do enjoy it. But I mostly enjoy it because I think it might be something God wants to use to bless others. It isn't about me. After being sick for so long, I have been humbled. Well, I hope I have. Hehehhe. I desire to do what God wants me to do and I feel led to play the guitar. Even if it's just for the kids. The kids really seem to like music when there is a guitar right in front of them. As I think adults like it too. I don't know if I'll ever play on the worship team. But I have started to practice with them every Saturday. But it's been a huge blessing for me because my Pastor prints out all the music we do for me and I have a binder to play of lots of hymns and a few contemporary songs. I love learning these songs. It's also pushing me to get better with my chords.

So at this point I play because I love music, it's a powerful thing, but the main reason to play music is to somehow bless the others around me, if God so desires. I know God can use music to change people. It's a powerful tool. The devil also tries to use it to tear people down. IMHO.

Sorry that was so long, but I just thought I'd share my experience. It might help someone.

[WARRIOR2]

Originally Posted by ABPOS

I'll try to give story in brief. As a late teen I picked up the guitar. I was very unstable emotionally as I FELT like I had a hard childhood. Parents divorce, somewhat abusive father before divorce, etc. Family stuff. And music moved me as a teen. Deeply. So I met people that liked music, started singing in a band. I lived on a farm in a Suburban area and we had all that room to play. I then desired to play guitar. So I learned. And from then on I lived to play and played to live. Started bands, played drums in a band, had friends that were in bands, my life was all about music. Completely. I did work in landscaping after high school, but it was just to pay the bills so I could live and buy the gear I needed. I got hooked up with some pretty good musicians and had a lot of fun times and wrote a ton of music and played small shows here and there. And recorded some. But it never went anywhere. And all the while I tried to fill that proverbial hole in my heart where God needed to be. So, the harder I tried, the more desperate I felt. At some point, music didn't fulfill me any more and I was desperate for lifes answer. I was depressed, angry about my life and probably too influenced by the negative music I was listening to. Think 90's grunge and alternative, and throw in 60's/70's rock. Especially the beatles. My favorite Alternative band was the pixies and had others I listened to and liked.

Then God did a wonderful thing and saved me from myself. I was dwelling on all my problems, negative emotions and was very, depressed. I nearly took my own life one night but God intervened with a friend. And then God placed people in my life that helped me to start to open up my heart to God. Who I had turned my back on for many reasons. Well, what I thought were good reasons, but weren't.

When I got saved, I stopped playing music all together. From the age of 17 to 24 I had been really involved in music, and I put it all away. Sold all my guitars except my acoustic, my amp, etc etc. To be honest, I don't even remember what happened to my amp. I must've sold it to someone. Sold my drums.

Then fast forward. Got married, was attending a new church with my wife after being married for a little whille. I was attending another church but we found something that fit us better as a couple. And they needed a drummer. I told them I could. So I started playing drums. Then that church grew and got some drummers and I played bass because that's what they needed. I have some really fond times of playing in that church. And I did it originally to serve God. However, I do think at some point the focus was more on my own power. I have never been a showboat and like I said, I played to fill in. But I think I wanted people to look up to my talents. And it became more about me. There were some very worshipful times, yet I think I might not have had the complete right attitude about it.

Then I got really sick. Chronically. And weirdly. My guts just stopped working. I lost 20 lbs in one month, and I'm not very big to begin with and my food just wouldn't digest. I felt lousy 24/7. And at first, nobody knew what to do with me. I thought I was going to die. Because I was getting worse. Anyways, it was bad and I had to stop playing on the worship team. There were lots of reasons for my sickness, but too complicated to mention now.

Fast forward, a lot more changes happened in my life due to illness. I clung to God and watched him take care of our family. After getting better and going to a newer church closer to home, they asked me to play the guitar in the worship service. I still can't commit to it regularly. But I do play for the AWANA cubbies. Last year was my first year and it went pretty well. My health still isn't great, but it's getting better. (although I'm home sick with the flu right now, which is why I have time to write all this).

I am at a point that the only reason I play music, is to glorify God. I have picked up playing guitar passionately and regularly. I do enjoy it. But I mostly enjoy it because I think it might be something God wants to use to bless others. It isn't about me. After being sick for so long, I have been humbled. Well, I hope I have. Hehehhe. I desire to do what God wants me to do and I feel led to play the guitar. Even if it's just for the kids. The kids really seem to like music when there is a guitar right in front of them. As I think adults like it too. I don't know if I'll ever play on the worship team. But I have started to practice with them every Saturday. But it's been a huge blessing for me because my Pastor prints out all the music we do for me and I have a binder to play of lots of hymns and a few contemporary songs. I love learning these songs. It's also pushing me to get better with my chords.

So at this point I play because I love music, it's a powerful thing, but the main reason to play music is to somehow bless the others around me, if God so desires. I know God can use music to change people. It's a powerful tool. The devil also tries to use it to tear people down. IMHO.

Sorry that was so long, but I just thought I'd share my experience. It might help someone.

Wow, what a powerful testimony!

Thank you for sharing that! I will be praying for you to get well. Please keep the praise going, you are an inspiration!

[ABPOS]

Thank you sir. I wasn't sure if it's all that relateable, but I thought I'd share it anyways. You are kind person to respond in such a way.

J.J.