I am a programmer. I can open a computer case and tell you what all the parts are, but my hardware knowledge ends there.
I am going to be needing new hardware soon, but I don't even know exactly what. I will tell you what I have, what is important to me, and what I think I might want.
I have
A reasonably powerful Linux desktop. Core 2 Duo E8500 processor and 4 GB RAM.
Two 500 GB hard drives. These are in the Linux desktop.
A 24" Asus monitor. Attached to Linux desktop. Seems to be really good. I have some problems with text rendering quality, but I think this is actually Ubuntu's fault. Haven't tested though as I only have the Linux computer.
My fiancee has a brand new Toshiba Windows 7 laptop. I don't know any of the specs, sorry.
A cable modem but no router.
What is important to me
Sublime Text, a Windows only text editor. This is as important to me as Photoshop would be to a designer. If I cannot run Sublime Text at home by the end of the year, my involvement with computing will only be able to be described as epic fail. There is a chance TextMate (a Mac-only text editor) could substitute, but I wouldn't bet on it. Sublime Text compares to other text editors in about the same way Google compares to an outdated phone book with mold on the pages.
Data security. Data loss in unacceptable. This may not need to involve hardware though if a web-based option is found suitable.
System responsiveness. I do absolutely nothing that is processor or memory intensive. The most advanced game I have any interest in running is Final Fantasy 7.

However, I like snappy. I like instantaneous. My computer should start before I push the power button. (Not that I ever turn my computer off.)
Being able to work side by side with Kate. Right now, this makes me want to get a laptop so we can hang out together and work. In 2 months though when we're married, this might not require a laptop.
A Linux server. Web development without access to a Linux server is almost a fate worse than death.

Windows is junk for serious web development. Mac might be suitable. I honestly don't know. Can Mac run CouchDB? If not, Mac isn't good enough.
To a lesser extent than the others, C#, an essentially Windows-only programming language.
What I think I might want
A home data server (NAS? DAS?) with RAID 1. It seems this would essentially nullify the risk of data loss, and if it was connected in a fast enough way, an internal hard drive would only be needed for booting on any system I used at home. I also wonder if it might be possible to turn the Linux desktop into a home server of some sort to serve this need as well as the need of having a Linux server around, which is something I think everyone needs.
A Windows 7 system with an SSD for its main/only drive. Basically, tuned for snappiness, but not performance. As I said, I don't need performance. This could be a laptop or a desktop. If a laptop, it might be nice if I could drive the Asus monitor through some sort of splitter so I could have the Linux system hooked up too at the same time, but still be able to run Windows on the big screen when I want to. If a desktop, it might be nice if it was incredibly cheap so I could still get a laptop if I decide I want one.
I will definitely need to set up a wireless network, so a wireless router is on the agenda.
Other things you should know
I'm extremely fond of spending money, and value matters to me way more than price. If you can make a convincing argument for something, price will likely not be an issue.
I'm extremely
not fond of Microsoft's licensing rules and all other manner of closed-ness. I'm running Linux partially because of the openness.
I'm also extremely not fond of complication. Why Windows can't just have one version is still beyond me. In fact, I don't see the need for more than one version of anything. My fiancee uses a Toshiba laptop because the Asus site had so many models (I think they honestly have more than 200 laptops), I gave up and went to Toshiba.
I like up-to-dateness. Linux drives me mad by using "packages" which tend to hold back your versions of programs to the version that was out when the last distro came out. Ubuntu is especially bad for this. I downloaded, installed and upgraded almost all my work projects to Visual Studio 2010 (Microsoft's programming environment) literally the day it came out. I actually put the date on my calendar so I could do this.
My desire for up-to-dateness is not universal. I don't own an iPod. I don't own a smartphone. I don't use Twitter or even Facebook. I eschew trends and gadgets, but stay bleeding-edge with programming tools and other technologies that tend to prefer steady progress to a flavor-of-the-week kind of progress.
How can I achieve computing zen? I welcome all comments, criticisms, advice, and large cash gifts.