[Hopeful]

Paul, sometimes, the goals of individual members conflict with those of the leader and maybe even the rest of the group. In your situation, I believe you're not talking about a band in a church setting, but rather a performing band. I was in a performing band whose goal was to minister to prisoners, addicts, juvenile delinquents, homeless and outreach ministries. We had a full on classic rock type band doing original Christian songs that allowed for guitar solos etc. But, we had one member, a very good friend of mine, who thought we should be getting paid and wanted to run it as a business. His goal ran crosswise with the goal of the leader and huge conflicts arose during practice which were very ugly and made everyone uncomfortable. It was not fun for my friend either at practices (he was constantly throwing tantrums). My advice to the leader was to let my friend go because the life of the band was at stake. There was not a better thing that could have been done. It was better for all that we parted because there would never be an agreement on the direction of the band, and the focus on ministry would not be lost.

While reconciliation is a noble thing to do, sometimes it is not possible. It largely depends on the willingness of the band members to agree on what it wants to accomplish. If not, it is better to separate early as friends.

[bobthecockroach]

Hopeful, you bring up another good point. Once a decision is made one way or another on an issue, everyone in the band should be expected to either support it fully or leave. A house divided cannot stand.

[Becky]

Originally Posted by Gaetano Paul

Sure bro,
Like wanting to straight up Jimi Hendrix style solo during most and all songs, always using the whammy bar on 80% of everything, even Jesus Culture covers, constantly using blues and jazz chords. Oh and this is a contemporary Christian type thing we were going for. I totally confronted the situation before, and he said "excuse me but blues is the main foundation for all these bands."
You know, just not fitting in...................................... And not having a good attitude with the whole "let me help you go for this type sound."

Wow as I write this it really helps me analyze my thought and reflect accordingly.....
Hmmn and I am not exaggerating.......... hmmm..............

Are you like the head leader of the band, or is this like a group of friends co-creating a band? Who was involved in the band first? What do the other members of the band think? Are leadership roles assumed, or are they contractual?

It sounds like he's not actually doing anything WRONG, just not the style you and perhaps the band is going for. You have to keep that in mind when you talk to him, or else you wont be able to broach this topic in a Christ-like manner.

Also, make sure you check your heart often. It is common for people to get annoyed with things because they have an issue with the individual, and they start blaming it on issues that aren't actually the problem.