What to expect before we're expecting?

**Epaphras** · 02-28-2010, 02:14 PM

We are "pulling the goalie" in June and trying for our first.

She is currently on the Pill and will just let the pack run out around the end of May or early June.

She understands charting and tracking ovulation, but our plan is to just :ahem: keep up our current...habits...so it won't be much of an issue as far as missing the most fertile time. Know what I mean?

She is training for a marathon run in late May, and I am losing some weight too.

She may have endometriosis -- it runs in the family and she has the symptoms -- but it is not officially diagnosed. The plan is to try on our own for about three months, and then consult about surgery to diagnose and/or treat.

Anything else we should be doing to prepare? Thanks!

**thesteve** · 02-28-2010, 02:46 PM

There is no adequate preparation...so enjoy the ride

Though FWIW, if you think she has endometriosis, it might be worthwhile just to find out. Three months isn't really a lot of time to "try". A lot of normal couples try for a year or more before anything happens.

**Epaphras** · 02-28-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesteve

There is no adequate preparation...so enjoy the ride

Though FWIW, if you think she has endometriosis, it might be worthwhile just to find out. Three months isn't really a lot of time to "try". A lot of normal couples try for a year or more before anything happens.

She has a gyno appointment in April, so I'm sure they'll talk about it when she tells her doc that we're gonna start trying.

S.B.Nichols · 03-04-2010, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epaphras

She has a gyno appointment in April, so I'm sure they'll talk about it when she tells her doc that we're gonna start trying.

Sorry I'm a bit late on the subject....

It's good to get checked up if there is a chance that something is wrong, but I wouldn't overly-worry about it. 95 percent of couples can get pregnant within a year of trying. Your odds are good. Of course, then there's the other 5 percent, and it sucks to be in that group, let me tell ya. But I wouldn't worry about it. Most doctors won't recommend procedures or drugs until you've been trying for 8 months.

The biggest thing to expect when you start trying is that it's going to change sex a little. It can still be fun and all, but it's also going to be more...uh, functional, for lack of a better term. Sex can become a job. A means to an end. This will mess with your head if you let it (both of you). Don't let it, that's a sad place to be. Talk about it in advance, and try and think of interesting ways to keep it fun.

**Skeeter** · 03-04-2010, 03:00 PM

I just want to say that "pulling the goalie" is a hilarious and awesome euphemism for that.

**Rach** · 03-04-2010, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by S.B.Nichols

Sorry I'm a bit late on the subject....

It's good to get checked up if there is a chance that something is wrong, but I wouldn't overly-worry about it. 95 percent of couples can get pregnant within a year of trying. Your odds are good. Of course, then there's the other 5 percent, and it sucks to be in that group, let me tell ya. But I wouldn't worry about it. Most doctors won't recommend procedures or drugs until you've been trying for 8 months.

The biggest thing to expect when you start trying is that it's going to change sex a little. It can still be fun and all, but it's also going to be more...uh, functional, for lack of a better term. Sex can become a job. A means to an end. This will mess with your head if you let it (both of you). Don't let it, that's a sad place to be. Talk about it in advance, and try and think of interesting ways to keep it fun.

I agree on all counts with the above. We tried for about 4-5 months before we got pregnant with our son, and neither of us have any health issues that could interfere with conception. It sometimes takes some time...which leads into the second point of agreement. It can become a bit...routine and mechanical, so make sure to enjoy it and not make it something you "have" to do to get pregnant. Sex changes SO MUCH after a baby (not to mention your whole marriage relationship in general), so it is important to make sure you are enjoying it.

Getting healthy is so important, for both of you, especially for your wife! It will make pregnancy, so much easier, and may even help with conception. We will pass on our lifestyles, either healthy or unhealthy, to our children. So it is important to make those changes before a baby, because they will be SO much harder to change after a baby is here.

Pray Pray Pray! Making sure you and your wife are spiritually ready for a child is so important as well. Bringing a child into the world is such a huge responsibility, but the blessings and rewards are so much more. We were incredibly blessed with an amazing church family that surrounded us and supported us throughout our pregnancy, which helped so much since both of our families are far away.

And finally, and trust me, you will hear this one from so many people, you will begin to hate it. S L E E P!!! I know you can't "store up" sleep, but you WILL lack sleep for a long time after a baby is born. Micah is over 7 months old, and I haven't had a good, full night of sleep since well before he was born. Oh sleep, how I long for thee.

relient nelson · 03-04-2010, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

I just want to say that "pulling the goalie" is a hilarious and awesome euphemism for that.

+1 to that. I've thought about it 2 or 3 times since the first time I read it and it makes me chuckle everytime.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 03-05-2010, 01:00 PM

I only have a few thoughts to add to the wisdom already shared.

You probably know this, but it is a good idea to wait at least a month (or until your wife has had a cycle without the aid of the pill) before you try to conceive. Her body needs time to adjust (i.e. build the lining of her uterus back up so a fertilized egg can implant itself). At least that's what I've read. Not an expert by any means.

Also, it is probably a good idea to talk about how and when you want to share the news that she is pregnant. And also who you want to share it with and in what order. Some couples don't want to share with anyone until they are past the first trimester since the risk of miscarriage is higher during that time. Others want to tell the whole world right away. It's up to you two, but it would be good to be on the same page.

**Role Modlin** · 03-05-2010, 01:36 PM

Um...underwear that isn't constricting.

**Role Modlin** · 03-05-2010, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

I just want to say that "pulling the goalie" is a hilarious and awesome euphemism for that.

We didn't pull him so much as we forgot to send him out on the ice.

**Skeeter** · 03-05-2010, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leboman

We didn't pull him so much as we forgot to send him out on the ice.

~~Oh man, you must have scored so many times...~~

I did not just say that.

**thesteve** · 03-05-2010, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

~~Oh man, you must have scored so many times...~~

I did not just say that.

Haha...this reminded me of something...

if friends ask if you were trying to have a baby or if you were just having too much "fun", the answer is always "too much" regardless of truth.

**Role Modlin** · 03-05-2010, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

~~Oh man, you must have scored so many times...~~

I did not just say that.

I did pull a hat trick.

***Pauler*** · 03-05-2010, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pre-Ex-Girlfriend

You probably know this, but it is a good idea to wait at least a month (or until your wife has had a cycle without the aid of the pill) before you try to conceive. Her body needs time to adjust (i.e. build the lining of her uterus back up so a fertilized egg can implant itself). At least that's what I've read. Not an expert by any means.

yes, this is a good idea. if you dont you could have a miscarriage...that is what we think happened to us.