[guitarman531]

Hey fellow CGRers!

So my girlfriend of about 1.5 years now are fairly serious and have both (from the start) agreed that we'd date to see if marriage was an eventual possibility (that our relationship was not just a "casual fling"). Well, after 1.5 years, marriage is looking like it could be a possibility in our not-so-distant future.

Are there any seriously-dating/engaged couple's devotionals that you guys would recommend?

Thanks!

[surferdude9375]

I would be more inclined to seek out a godly, steadfast married couple in your church and meet up with them rather than just reading a book. The amount of advice you would gain from them would be way more than a book could describe.

[guitarman531]

Originally Posted by surferdude9375

I would be more inclined to seek out a godly, steadfast married couple in your church and meet up with them rather than just reading a book. The amount of advice you would gain from them would be way more than a book could describe.

I agree that meeting with a couple would be a good thing to do at some point in the future [perhaps after we're engaged], but for now--maybe a year from engagement--is there something that we can be working through together?

[Pre-Ex-Girlfriend]

Why not just choose a book of the Bible or a topic that you both really want to study and then pick the material together? Or are you looking for something specifically about relationships?

[guitarman531]

Originally Posted by Pre-Ex-Girlfriend

Why not just choose a book of the Bible or a topic that you both really want to study and then pick the material together? Or are you looking for something specifically about relationships?

I guess something that's geared toward relationships. I know a friend of mine is using one [it talks about issues and stuff that a couple may or may not think about]. I know studying the Bible together is good, but I was wondering if there's any sort of "pre-marital" books that y'all can recommend

[guitarman531]

Really? No one has any devotionals or anything that they've used?

[Pre-Ex-Girlfriend]

I can only think of marriage books (which aren't really devotionals at all). At least according to my idea of what a "devotional" is.

[bravesfan007]

Originally Posted by guitarman531

Really? No one has any devotionals or anything that they've used?

Honestly, my wife and I thought about it, but decided not to. We did read the Bible and ponder things together and talk about what we had read and how it applied to our lives, but we didn't have a devotional book or do this process very in depth. Of course, we prayed together over our meals and different things like that, but we didn't pray, pray until after we were married or studied a passage.

In my opinion there is a lot of intimacy that occurs during a prayer where you're really praying for something. A lot of it is not physical intimacy, but rather spiritual. The same thing can happen when you're having your devotion. A lot of private stuff comes out then, and for me I felt more comfortable only sharing some of the crap in my life with my wife. I wanted to make sure that I only had that type of intimacy with my wife and not just someone I was dating.

That's just me though.

[passinthru]

It sounds like you are looking more for "pre-martial" things - even though it's still a ways away, it might be worth chatting with a pastor/mentor about this.

Sure there are books I could recommend, but in all honesty, the best thing I ever did to prepare for my marriage didn't come from the books I read, but rather the relationships that I cultivated with Godly older women who had been married for a lot of years already themselves. Women that I trusted, who knew me, to help guide me in preparing myself. For me that had more value than the formal pre-marital counseling we did together.

I'd highly suggest focusing more individually on your own growth, rather than on spiritual growth as a couple, at least until there is more of a commitment - either in the form of a wedding date or an engagement.

Prior to having that commitment of engagement, I'm hesitant to recommend "pre-marital" types of books. Without that commitment to each other, I don't see the point in preparing for marriage that you might have with her.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by passinthru

It sounds like you are looking more for "pre-martial" things - even though it's still a ways away, it might be worth chatting with a pastor/mentor about this.

Sure there are books I could recommend, but in all honesty, the best thing I ever did to prepare for my marriage didn't come from the books I read, but rather the relationships that I cultivated with Godly older women who had been married for a lot of years already themselves. Women that I trusted, who knew me, to help guide me in preparing myself. For me that had more value than the formal pre-marital counseling we did together.

I'd highly suggest focusing more individually on your own growth, rather than on spiritual growth as a couple, at least until there is more of a commitment - either in the form of a wedding date or an engagement.

Prior to having that commitment of engagement, I'm hesitant to recommend "pre-marital" types of books. Without that commitment to each other, I don't see the point in preparing for marriage that you might have with her.

I personally think this is excellent advice.

[Fandrew]

Not exactly a devotional, but I highly recommend reading David Gudgel's Before You Get Engaged. It does a great job of putting things into their proper perspectives, and easy to read for both the guy and the girl.

Here's an Amazon Link, but I bought it at Lifeway Christian Resources.

[guitarman531]

Originally Posted by JayCarrFan

Not exactly a devotional, but I highly recommend reading David Gudgel's Before You Get Engaged. It does a great job of putting things into their proper perspectives, and easy to read for both the guy and the girl.

Here's an Amazon Link, but I bought it at Lifeway Christian Resources.

Thanks! That's the kind of resource I was looking for

And thank you to you all for your advice and input