Love in a week?

notnow92 · 11-16-2009, 10:08 PM

I just want to know peoples thoughts on love. Do you think someone can fall in love with a person in less than a month of knowing them? Do you think it takes years? Do you think it could happen in the minimum of a week? Could it happen like movies where the guy meet s a girl and within a few days they decide they are meant to be? I know that it isn't one or the other, many things are possible, i'm just wondering peoples thoughts on it.

**Thrash** · 11-16-2009, 10:18 PM

For this discussion to actually mean anything you need to qualify what you mean by "love" so we don't play a bunch of semantical games.

bobthecockroach · 11-16-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thrash

For this discussion to actually mean anything you need to qualify what you mean by "love" so we don't play a bunch of semantical games.

Right. Honestly, there isn't much to discuss here. If you define love one way, then yes. If you define love another way, then no. This is just going to turn into a discussion on what love "really" is, because there's no way to answer the question as asked.

If you're really looking for some advice here, you need to clarify what you mean.

**slap_j** · 11-16-2009, 10:24 PM

It depends on what you mean by "fall in love." If you mean an extraordinary spike in romantic interest then I think yes, you can fall in love rather quickly. But if you mean love that is selfless in the way it undergirds devotion then that is a process.

notnow92 · 11-16-2009, 10:29 PM

I mean love as in even though a person has faults you would still want to be with them for the rest of your life.

**Thrash** · 11-16-2009, 10:34 PM

So, in other words, a concious choice?

notnow92 · 11-16-2009, 10:38 PM

Yes. I'm talking about the legit stuff

**Rainer.** · 11-16-2009, 10:46 PM

What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.

But on a serious note: You can decide that you want to love someone very quickly. But learning how to love them can take a lifetime. Deciding to love them is a conscious choice that should not be taken lightly, and the time frame of that decision should not be made too hastily, and in my opinion, that decision truly becomes reality the moment you enter marriage.

bobthecockroach · 11-16-2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notnow92

I mean love as in even though a person has faults you would still want to be with them for the rest of your life.

I don't see how you could conceivably decide you wanted to be with someone for the rest of your life in a week. I knew my girlfriend for years as a friend and then dated her for two more before I knew for sure... and we're still just bf/gf, not engaged or married.

bobthecockroach · 11-16-2009, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notnow92

Yes. I'm talking about the legit stuff

There's nothing illegitimate about other types of love. This is not a healthy mindset to have.

notnow92 · 11-16-2009, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

There's nothing illegitimate about other types of love.

I just meant the love that you see when you see older couples that are still together and still can look in each others eyes and smile at the fact that they get to lay down and sleep next to that person, or that they even get to hold that person. I just meant not the fake crap where you see people say 'i love' when they really don't see the relationship going anywhere.

bobthecockroach · 11-16-2009, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notnow92

I just meant the love that you see when you see older couples that are still together and still can look in each others eyes and smile at the fact that they get to lay down and sleep next to that person, or that they even get to hold that person. I just meant not the fake crap where you see people say 'i love' when they really don't see the relationship going anywhere.

I would argue that any time you call someone's statement of love, regardless how much you believe it, "fake crap", you have an unhealthy mindset. It is not your place to judge.

I realize this probably comes off as me being stubborn. It may seem like I'm just being picky about choice of words, but I'm not. You have twice made comments which reflect a negative and judgmental attitude toward what others call love. I suspect that your negativity is directed at a concept of love which is feelings-based rather than commitment-based. If so, this does not reflect a lack of understanding of love on the part of the people you are judging, but on your own part. The Bible makes abundantly clear that feelings and sexual desire are part of love.

Song of Solomon 3:1-4; 7:1-9a (ESV)
On my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves;
I sought him, but found him not.
I will rise now and go about the city,
in the streets and in the squares;
I will seek him whom my soul loves.
I sought him, but found him not.
The watchmen found me
as they went about in the city.
"Have you seen him whom my soul loves?" Scarcely had I passed them
when I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go
until I had brought him into my mother’s house,
and into the chamber of her who conceived me.

How beautiful are your feet in sandals,
O noble daughter!
Your rounded thighs are like jewels,
the work of a master hand.
Your navel is a rounded bowl
that never lacks mixed wine.
Your belly is a heap of wheat,
encircled with lilies.
Your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Heshbon,
by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon,
which looks toward Damascus.
Your head crowns you like Carmel,
and your flowing locks are like purple;
a king is held captive in the tresses.

How beautiful and pleasant you are,
O loved one, with all your delights!
Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters.
I say I will climb the palm tree
and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
and the scent of your breath like apples,
and your mouth like the best wine.

notnow92 · 11-16-2009, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

I don't see how you could conceivably decide you wanted to be with someone for the rest of your life in a week.

I agree, i don't think you can decide that either. I think it takes time to understand the person and to see who they are and whether their pros weigh out their cons to the point that the cons aren't noticed anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

But on a serious note: You can decide that you want to love someone very quickly. But learning how to love them can take a lifetime. Deciding to love them is a conscious choice that should not be taken lightly, and the time frame of that decision should not be made too hastily, and in my opinion, that decision truly becomes reality the moment you enter marriage.

I see what you mean, good point.

notnow92 · 11-16-2009, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

I would argue that any time you call someone's statement of love, regardless how much you believe it, "fake crap", you have an unhealthy mindset. It is not your place to judge.

Sorry. It just makes me kinda mad when I see people do that when you can tell that it won't last. I know it isn't my place to judge and I suppose I should work on that. And if that is how they choose to express how they feel to the person then cool. I guess I just feel that people over use the term to where it doesn't mean as much as it should. Those are just my thoughts, It is very possible that I have no clue what i'm talking about and I may be wrong, those are just my thoughts.

bobthecockroach · 11-16-2009, 11:27 PM

I've updated my post to give more info. See above.