[bravebird]

My boyfriend is a Christian metal guitarist and he has a desire to be in a successful band that shares Christ through music. He was in a band once but the band ended up splitting due to various reasons. Now he is very discouraged because it's been almost 2 years and he is still not in one. He was expressing to me how discouraged he is and it sounded to me as if he is just giving up on God. I tried to encourage him but I felt helpless, because everything I was telling him is what he knew and had already heard before. He feels as if God is not going to let his dream come true but I don't see why not since he is so talented. I don't know what to do and I am really concerned about him. He said a lot of things that made me think about our future as well. If he can give up so easily on this what else would he give up on? If we were married and things weren't going how he wanted and he just gave up on God what am I supposed to do? I care so much about him and I believe that he can be in a successful band.

[Ethan.Bassist.]

Late 08, early 09 when I was with my gf at the time (we broke up since, unrelated) that's how I was regarding school and such. Because I didn't know what I wanted to do (like my major) I got fed up with applying for scholarships because they all wanted to know my major (which again, I didn't have). I was taking classes in college, but I had no direction in which ones I was taking (just vaguely by what was listed in the Assoc. of Arts req.). Which sucked. All I wanted to do was to crawl in a hole and die or something. Anywho. I can attest to the frustration/glaze he feels to your encouraging because (as hard as you try) he's hearing it from 100 other angles too (not to diminish your importance in his life). But now, I've talked to the right people, and I know exactly my plan for school! It gives me so much drive now to have at least a general plan. It just took time.

So, all that to say: 1) Continue to love, support, and encourage him but you might try just sharing in his feelings instead of always offering advice/encouragement. 2) Don't let him give up. If he is looking, something will turn up in time. And has he tried starting his own band? But yeah, don't let him give up. On God or on the band. 3) I personally don't believe that God gives you passions and talents only to ignore/crush them later. 4) Granted, I don't know your exact situation, but I wouldn't necessarily assume that he is giving up on God. Encourage him though to keep close/grounded with God because even if the band thing doesn't pan out (I hope it does though), he still has God for one, and then you and family. 5) When I was down in the dumps, sometimes I just needed a hug, a little time, and then some fun. Focus not on his lack of being in a band, but more on your next date or something. 6) If he doesn't end up in a band (successful or not) by his own will (as in if he chooses to follow something else) don't take that as giving up. As long as he is with God and content with what he's doing, that's still good.

Oh dear. I'm sorry I'm so long winded. I hope I helped. I'm not Dr. Laura or Dr. Phil or anything, but I hope it helps. Good luck.

[OiBoyz]

Not to be cruel here, but if all it takes is a little discouragement to make him give up on being a professional musician, he doesn't have what it takes. There are so few who "make it." And if that's all it's going to take to make him "give up on God" then his walk is very shallow indeed.

Matt 13:5-7
And others fell upon the rocky places, where they did not have much soil ; and immediately they sprang up, because they had no depth of soil . 6 "But when the sun had risen, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.

[Ethan.Bassist.]

Originally Posted by OiBoyz

Not to be cruel here, but if all it takes is a little discouragement to make him give up on being a professional musician, he doesn't have what it takes. There are so few who "make it." And if that's all it's going to take to make him "give up on God" then his walk is very shallow indeed.

True. But that's also not to say that he will never have what it takes. He can definitely work on his mindset and walk with God and motivation in the time that he isn't in a band.

[OiBoyz]

And perhaps that's what God is working on. He has lots of musicians. But not many worshipers.

[TunerSteve]

Originally Posted by OiBoyz

And perhaps that's what God is working on. He has lots of musicians. But not many worshipers.

Much wisdom here. I've attended many different concerts/worship events where I see uber talented individuals and wonder 'why haven't these guys been famous yet?' It's not really about whether you make it big in the worldly sense, it's offering your gifts and talents in whatever way is pleasing to God.

I'm reminded of something C. S. Lewis said once, when someone asked him if the world needed more Christian writers. He responded to the effect that no, the world doesn't need more Christian writers, it needs more writers that are Christian. Perhaps God may want him to be in a metal band, and be the Christian presence in that band...to minister where no one else is ministering. Very risky however, if his walk with Jesus is not strong, as there could be many, many temptations down that road.

In the music business, there is truly no such thing as overnight success. It's more work than most people ever realize, and discouragment is ever-present. Even those that are signed to labels, will more-often-than-not be dropped from that label over time.