History must repeat itself

**DaGeek** · 11-04-2009, 10:11 AM

I was thinking of following the historical example of Van Gogh and cutting off my ear to give to my girlfriend. Do you think she'll like it?

I'm a little worried because she once said she faints at the sight of blood, but, if I clean it off, do you think it'll be okay?? Anyone ever done that and know how best to clean off an ear?? Will I need a hearing aid afterward?

Thanks for all your help!

**Dwight Schrute** · 11-04-2009, 10:49 AM

hose it off, and be sure to include a note that says something like "ear's to you babe!" or something smooth like "now you can whisper your undying love to me forever". that should certainly solidify any relationship. and hey - if she dumps you, you can just have it sewn back on. ears are mostly cosmetic anyway, the important stuff is inside your skull.

rock_show_host · 11-04-2009, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterDominator

and hey - if she dumps you, you can just have it sewn back on. ears are mostly cosmetic anyway, the important stuff is inside your skull.

Depending on her gift philosophy, she may not feel obligated to give it back even if she dumps you. In fact, the whole relationship could be an elaborate ploy to get her hands on one of your ears. I'd make sure you really trust her before whipping out the knife.

kimberlyb0112 · 11-04-2009, 11:34 AM

Wow.. that's original..but I can definitely think of better gifts..??
Maybe you should stick with jewelry

**Rainer.** · 11-04-2009, 11:44 AM

I'm disgusted at you. Do you not know that Scripture forbids the giving of one's body to another outside of marriage? How dare you consider the idea of profaning the sanctity of the union of a man and a woman by giving over your flesh. The fact that your supposed girlfriend desires your flesh is precisely manifest of the diluted view of chastity that your unrighteous generation continually seeks day after day, with your "rap music" and "MTV". Shame on you for your worldly lifestyle! Be prayerful and mindful of your evil temptations. I fear for you, truly.

**Dwight Schrute** · 11-04-2009, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rock_show_host

Depending on her gift philosophy, she may not feel obligated to give it back even if she dumps you. In fact, the whole relationship could be an elaborate ploy to get her hands on one of your ears. I'd make sure you really trust her before whipping out the knife.

they can clone new ears on mice - worse case scenario involves buying a mouse and sprouting a new ear. issue solved.

Gwenny · 11-04-2009, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterDominator

they can clone new ears on mice - worse case scenario involves buying a mouse and sprouting a new ear. issue solved.

Do you then suggest surgically attaching the mouse ear to his head? I would suggest cutting off both ears and attaching mice ears, because what is cooler than having animal body parts? You could even be cast in XMEN 23 all about mutants with animal body parts.

walkwjc · 11-04-2009, 12:38 PM

Some people already have donkey ears, I'm told.

**DaGeek** · 11-04-2009, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterDominator

hose it off, and be sure to include a note that says something like "ear's to you babe!" or something smooth like "now you can whisper your undying love to me forever". that should certainly solidify any relationship. and hey - if she dumps you, you can just have it sewn back on. ears are mostly cosmetic anyway, the important stuff is inside your skull.

Good idea! Thanks, Mr. Dominator!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rock_show_host

Depending on her gift philosophy, she may not feel obligated to give it back even if she dumps you. In fact, the whole relationship could be an elaborate ploy to get her hands on one of your ears. I'd make sure you really trust her before whipping out the knife.

Oh man, should I be worried that she was talking to this other guy the other day?? His ears are at least twice the size of mine!

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimberlyb0112

Wow.. that's original..but I can definitely think of better gifts..??
Maybe you should stick with jewelry

I like to think of my jewelry as "home-made."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

I'm disgusted at you. Do you not know that Scripture forbids the giving of one's body to another outside of marriage? How dare you consider the idea of profaning the sanctity of the union of a man and a woman by giving over your flesh. The fact that your supposed girlfriend desires your flesh is precisely manifest of the diluted view of chastity that your unrighteous generation continually seeks day after day, with your "rap music" and "MTV". Shame on you for your worldly lifestyle! Be prayerful and mindful of your evil temptations. I fear for you, truly.

No, 'cuz the Bible says your body is a temple, and it never says you can't give sections of the temple to people, okay?? Try reading your Bible before you lecture me, Mr. "I pour showers from the sky" guy!!

Why was this moved to CPF???

I really need help!

**Dwight Schrute** · 11-04-2009, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvinjesus

Do you then suggest surgically attaching the mouse ear to his head? I would suggest cutting off both ears and attaching mice ears, because what is cooler than having animal body parts? You could even be cast in XMEN 23 all about mutants with animal body parts.

yeah, here I'll break it down in generic BASIC coding:

IF girlfriend dumps him
AND she won't return the original severed ear
THEN grow a new mouse ear and attach it to gaping maw on side of skull
ELSE dye hair red and audition for George Weasley in Harry Potter Seven