awkard situation

KaiserZr · 11-03-2009, 02:16 PM

I have been with my girlfriend a couple of weeks now and everything is going well and she means a lot to me...but recently I had been talking to a girl who I became fast friends with...we had known each other well before I met the other girl but never got to know her...now I am because of various situations we are just able to talk to each other...and it feels like more and more this girl is a lot like me and I feel so comfortable with her...to the point where I am having feelings about her...I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend, I have had it happen to me won't do it to her....part of me has wondered what would have happened had I started talking to the 2nd girl before...I don't know how she feels about me....all I know is we stayed up till 8 in the morning just talking about different things....something I never do....it was so much fun....we are only friends...but part of me is telling me to be very careful...as I don't want these feelings to become too strong and make it awkward between us...but...yea...I don't want to eventually have to choose between the 2, but part of me is feeling it will eventually get to that....so I don't want to bring it up to the 2nd girl at least not now....so yea....any opinions?

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I have been with my girlfriend a couple of weeks now and everything is going well and she means a lot to me...but recently I had been talking to a girl who I became fast friends with...we had known each other well before I met the other girl but never got to know her...now I am because of various situations we are just able to talk to each other...and it feels like more and more this girl is a lot like me and I feel so comfortable with her...to the point where I am having feelings about her...I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend, I have had it happen to me won't do it to her....part of me has wondered what would have happened had I started talking to the 2nd girl before...I don't know how she feels about me....all I know is we stayed up till 8 in the morning just talking about different things....something I never do....it was so much fun....we are only friends...but part of me is telling me to be very careful...as I don't want these feelings to become too strong and make it awkward between us...but...yea...I don't want to eventually have to choose between the 2, but part of me is feeling it will eventually get to that....so I don't want to bring it up to the 2nd girl at least not now....so yea....any opinions?

how long have you known the 1 st girl?

KaiserZr · 11-03-2009, 02:21 PM

I knew her a few day before we started dating so about...3 weeks....just one of those I met her we liked each so we started dating...the other girl for about 4 or 5 months

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I knew her a few day before we started dating so about...3 weeks

3 weeks?

well that is not very long, i whold not do that, but it is not my choice to make.
let me ask you something, form 1-10 how do you feel about the girl you are with now?
and how do you feel about the other girl ?

also how old are you?

KaiserZr · 11-03-2009, 02:26 PM

I am 23....

the girl I am dating maybe 7 to 8 out of 10...

the 2nd girl....like a 9 or even 10.... we had so much in common....it was funny we were joking about how we must have been clones or something....like our sense of humor is the same...we enjoy a lot of the same things....the first girl I met after I got out a broken relationship that let me hurt....and we just happened to meet and she was really nice and we had both opened up to each other and a couple of days later we started dating

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I am 23....

the girl I am dating maybe 7 to 8 out of 10...

the 2nd girl....like a 9 or even 10.... we had so much in common....it was funny we were joking about how we must have been clones or something....like our sense of humor is the same...we enjoy a lot of the same things....the first girl I met after I got out a broken relationship that let me hurt....and we just happened to meet and she was really nice and we had both opened up to each other and a couple of days later we started dating

Okay I see now, that girl helped you in a hard time and for that you started to grow feelings for her.
As for what you should do, I hate to say it but you have three things you can do

1 you can try to forget about the 2nd girl but im not an idiot I know that is easie said then done

2 you can break up with the first girl get with the 2nd which in my book is kind of meseed up

3 stay with this one for what ever reason

To be honest a lot of others will think if you choice number 2 that you are a jerk, also that girl will probably be mad.

If you choice number 1 then good luck it is not easy to do I don’t care what others say you don’t choice who you have feelings for

Number three is still kind of right\wrong
If you are doing that because you don’t want others to think you are bad then it is wrong but if you do It because you realize (after more time) that you do feel more for her then that is not wrong

I would honestly pray to god and talk to both of them (same time might cause problems but it might help) either together or oen by one

But you where right not to cheat im praying for you

jthomas1600 · 11-03-2009, 02:35 PM

I'm going to address a separate issue. It's more basic than the one you're asking about. This is just my opinion, but I think you need to step back and evaluate your whole approach to "dating". If I understand your posts so far, your current relationship went something like this....you saw/met a girl, thought she was attractive/nice, you asked her if she wanted to go out some time, she said yes, and now 3 weeks later you are in a serious and committed relationship. Is that about right? How could you possibly know after a week (or less?) that you wanted to be in a committed relationship with this girl? I'm a little baffled by that to tell you the truth. And the other girl, you've only known here a few months? My advice. Step back a little from both. SLOW DOWN!

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jthomas1600

I'm going to address a separate issue. It's more basic than the one you're asking about. This is just my opinion, but I think you need to step back and evaluate your whole approach to "dating". If I understand your posts so far, your current relationship went something like this....you saw/met a girl, thought she was attractive/nice, you asked her if she wanted to go out some time, she said yes, and now 3 weeks later you are in a serious and committed relationship. Is that about right? How could you possibly know after a week (or less?) that you wanted to be in a committed relationship with this girl? I'm a little baffled by that to tell you the truth. And the other girl, you've only known here a few months? My advice. Step back a little from both. SLOW DOWN!

The guy is 23 I’m 15 I don’t think I have the right to say what you did but I do agree with this

also the girl was a freind after a break up so i do think he needs to slwo down

KaiserZr · 11-03-2009, 02:38 PM

I will talk to the 2nd girl tonight...and just be honest with her...maybe she won't feel the same about me and that will make it easier....hopefully....because if she is developing feelings for me too....then I don't know....and I truly care about my girlfriend...I don't want to hurt her.....she has done nothing wrong.....this is so hard....

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I will talk to the 2nd girl tonight...and just be honest with her...maybe she won't feel the same about me and that will make it easier....hopefully....because if she is developing feelings for me too....then I don't know....and I truly care about my girlfriend...I don't want to hurt her.....she has done nothing wrong.....this is so hard....

Dude that can make it worse if she does have feelings then what are you going to do?

I think you need to slow down and think this over
Maybe you can be just friends with both (it might be hard but at lest there is less danger then
If you cant be just friend with one then idk if you leave the 1 st girl you WILL hurt her there is no way around that
but if you go with her only becuse of you dont want to hurt her in the end that may coem out and it will be worse

KaiserZr · 11-03-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jthomas1600

I'm going to address a separate issue. It's more basic than the one you're asking about. This is just my opinion, but I think you need to step back and evaluate your whole approach to "dating". If I understand your posts so far, your current relationship went something like this....you saw/met a girl, thought she was attractive/nice, you asked her if she wanted to go out some time, she said yes, and now 3 weeks later you are in a serious and committed relationship. Is that about right? How could you possibly know after a week (or less?) that you wanted to be in a committed relationship with this girl? I'm a little baffled by that to tell you the truth. And the other girl, you've only known here a few months? My advice. Step back a little from both. SLOW DOWN!

I do agree I probably rushed into the first one...and I think the girl I am with knows that....but now I am having to deal with my mistakes...had I not rushed into I don't think I would be having this problem....but I did and now I do....

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I do agree I probably rushed into the first one...and I think the girl I am with knows that....but now I am having to deal with my mistakes...had I not rushed into I don't think I would be having this problem....but I did and now I do....

if you think she knows try to bring it up ask her how she feels about "us" and see what she says if you start to think that she to thinks you rushed then mabey you can decide to "take a break" and jsut be freinds for now

KaiserZr · 11-03-2009, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kentl

Dude that can make it worse if she does have feelings then what are you going to do?

I think you need to slow down and think this over
Maybe you can be just friends with both (it might be hard but at lest there is less danger then
If you cant be just friend with one then idk if you leave the 1 st girl you WILL hurt her there is no way around that
but if you go with her only becuse of you dont want to hurt her in the end that may coem out and it will be worse

I know it can make things worse....but at the same time the 2nd girl is very perceptive it wouldn't surprise me if she already knows....and as for if she does have feelings for me...I don't know.....I know all of this is my fault for rushing back into a relationship

Kentl · 11-03-2009, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I know it can make things worse....but at the same time the 2nd girl is very perceptive it wouldn't surprise me if she already knows....and as for if she does have feelings for me...I don't know.....I know all of this is my fault for rushing back into a relationship

yeah it was a bad move but we are humans none of us are perfect, waht maters now is that you dont make more mistakes

the 2nd girl might have fealings for you but take time to know her, both of them come to think of it, i know you may not like the idea of being just freinds with both of them but that is the only way that you can figure this out

now bad news is one day you might have to pick one but by then you will know which one you care for more
3 weeks i did not even like most of the girls that i have fealings for now
and if i did the grew big time

earlessdog · 11-03-2009, 02:49 PM

Personally, I would have got to know your girlfriend a lot better and waited a lot longer than a day before I'd start dating her. Because, as you are finding out now, you don't like her as much as you now realize you could have (in relation to girl #2).

Does girl #2 know that you have a girlfriend? Because pulling an all nighter talking about things with another girl you have feelings for while you have a girlfriend probably isn't a good idea, if you want to remain faithful to your girlfriend.

But honestly, you have made it pretty clear that you have stronger feelings towards this girl that is not your girlfriend.
As far as I can see, you should probably stop spending too much time with girl #2 (referring to girl #2 seems so demoralizing, does she have a name you can share?) until you figure things out. Wait and see if your feelings remain the same after a length of time, you should probably talk to your girlfriend about it, I know that could be disastrous depending on the personality of your girlfriend, but maybe that would be the best thing?

In my own opinion, task number one is remaining faithful to the one you are currently in a relationship with, because like it or not, you are in a relationship with her right now.
If, after time, you decide your feelings toward girl #2 are still so strong (and hers to you as well) maybe it would be best to end your relationship with your current girlfriend and pursue this other girl you admire so much. But after TIME, wait a while, don't rush so much.

I don't know if those are the best options, but it's my two cents.