[Kentl]

Originally Posted by earlessdog

Personally, I would have got to know your girlfriend a lot better and waited a lot longer than a day before I'd start dating her. Because, as you are finding out now, you don't like her as much as you now realize you could have (in relation to girl #2).

Does girl #2 know that you have a girlfriend? Because pulling an all nighter talking about things with another girl you have feelings for while you have a girlfriend probably isn't a good idea, if you want to remain faithful to your girlfriend.

But honestly, you have made it pretty clear that you have stronger feelings towards this girl that is not your girlfriend.
As far as I can see, you should probably stop spending too much time with girl #2 (referring to girl #2 seems so demoralizing, does she have a name you can share?) until you figure things out. Wait and see if your feelings remain the same after a length of time, you should probably talk to your girlfriend about it, I know that could be disastrous depending on the personality of your girlfriend, but maybe that would be the best thing?

In my own opinion, task number one is remaining faithful to the one you are currently in a relationship with, at all costs.
If, after time, you decide your feelings toward girl #2 are still so strong (and hers to you as well) maybe it would be best to end your relationship with your current girlfriend and pursue this other girl you admire so much.

I don't know if those are the best options, but it's my two cents.

I do want to add one thing to this, we are not saying you have to do this, we are not you we don’t know these two like you do we cant give you dead on advice here, all we know is there is two girls you like one you are with and the other you feel for

Breaking up with you girl friend might seem bad and in a way it is but it is not as bad as cheating on her
If you realize you girl friend might just be a best friend or even a sister maybe you should let her know



also earlessdog
that is good advice and form what i can see the best path to go down

[KaiserZr]

yes Casey (the 2nd girl) knows about Corie (my girlfriend)...and maybe your right...I don't know how I could talk to my girlfriend about it....I don't think she would hate me or anything, but it would hurt...and I know I shouldn't stay with her just for the sake of not hurting her....but....this is complicated and simple all at the same time....the reason I am in the situation is simple...I have no patience....now I am in a complicated situation where I probably wouldn't be in had I not rushed into things

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Im going to throw a few thoughts out.

1) This never stops. It doesn't stop while dating. It doesn't stop while you are engaged, and it doesn't stop after you are married.

2) If you are committed to a person, you are committed to them, which means, don't shop around. (If you are staying up till 8 in the morning talking to a girl, you ARE shopping around, whether you call it such or not.)

3) Realize that if you do break up because you are cheating on your girlfriend, that that is what it is. The situation is only awkward because you choose it to be. I say that because, quite frankly you have two options.

a) Break up with the girl you are dating
b) Don't break up with her

Now realize if you do, because you had a crush and started to shop around, that that is a problem in and of itself. You rushed into the relationship. Are you ready to rush out? I dare say that both of these are 2 sides of the same coin, and that there is one core problem here. You are rushing. If you rush out of relationship with girl 1, it appears your plan is to rush into relationship with girl 2 which is the same problem and feeds the cycle.

My advice, SLOW DOWN! Don't jump in or out of anything for a bit and slow down.

[Rainer.]

Yeah, good points raised on all sides. Either you're ready to commit to this girl you're dating, or you're not. If you are, then you better start acting like you are committed to being serious with her and only her. If you aren't ready to commit, then this is serious trouble for your relationship, and you either have to decide to commit, or be honest that you can't. Also note that I didn't really mention anything about "feelings". Feelings can wax and wane, but are ultimately tied to your decisions.

A few days isn't very long to know someone to get into a relationship with them... but a few months really isn't either (borderline at best).

[kimberlyb0112]

Wow.. that is a hard situation..

As much advice as we give you, you are the one that is going to have to choose... hopefully, we can make it easier for you..?

It's not fair to Girl #1 if you are with her and having feelings for someone else..
that's not fair to you either

And also, make sure Girl #2 has feelings for you in the first place
because you don't want to break up with Girl #1 and then realize that
Girl #2 doesn't have feelings for you in the first place.. then
you would just be alone.. but maybe that's what you need..while you
get to know Girl #2...?

Good luck dude..

[Gods*Armygirl]

Ok, I didn't read through all of the posts but I read the first few. You obviously feel more for the 2nd girl than the first, and you haven't known the first girl very long. I think you need to make your choice sooner rather than later. I've been in a similar situation, and I know that it's best to figure it out before waiting too long, and I know that you need to make this choice own your own. I think you know the 2nd girl is better for you, but you are just friends so you don't want to ruin things with girl 1 if it doesn't work with the 2nd. It's not right for you to do that to the first girl though, and it would be right to tell them how you feel. Maybe end things with the first girl. Why was it you and the 2nd girl stopped talking? Did you just grow apart? Did you have feelings for her before?

It all comes down to what you feel is right. I know it may come close so it may be harder, but you will find you feel more for one than the other, and it seems to be the 2nd girl. I'd suggest talking to her about how you feel or asking her how she feels, but not while you're with the first girl. It will hurt her. It may be a good idea to step out and see who you have more feelings for, because for one you didn't know the first girl very long to start a relationship, and you like both so you need to do some thinking about it.

If you are happy with the first girl and you want to stay with her than do so, and maybe like earlessdog suggested, don't spend so much time with the second girl so that you can stay faithful to your girlfriend. If your feelings are still the same then it's probably time to end the relationship you're in.

[fenderguy962]

I would get out of both. If you have only known Corie for 3 weeks that really is not a whole lot to base a relationship on. Tell her that you rushed into it and that you want to take a step back, but don't do that and then jump right into something with Casey. Just back off for a few weeks and slow down. You don't have to rush into anything.

[beanbag]

Originally Posted by KaiserZr

I am 23....

the girl I am dating maybe 7 to 8 out of 10...

the 2nd girl....like a 9 or even 10.... we had so much in common....it was funny we were joking about how we must have been clones or something....like our sense of humor is the same...we enjoy a lot of the same things....the first girl I met after I got out a broken relationship that let me hurt....and we just happened to meet and she was really nice and we had both opened up to each other and a couple of days later we started dating

I think that what people have already said is really good, but I wanted to highlight something that I think no one else brought up.

are the sections in your quote that I bolded ratings? because honestly, that is an extremely superficial way to pursue a relationship. if I were either girl, I would be extremely insulted that that was your main criteria for pursuing a relationship. keep that in mind for the future.

[mulletman]

I'd like to ask you a question or two.


Why are you dating the person you are with now? To put it bluntly, if you answer isn't "To pursue her in marriage" then you're doing it wrong.

Second question. How the heck did you manage to get to know her well enough in "a few days" to know that you were confident that she was a potential lifelong mate for you?



Edit: Maybe you should ask them if they'd be willing to be co-girlfriends! It's as good of an idea as anything that's happened so far....

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

Im going to throw a few thoughts out.

1) This never stops. It doesn't stop while dating. It doesn't stop while you are engaged, and it doesn't stop after you are married.

2) If you are committed to a person, you are committed to them, which means, don't shop around. (If you are staying up till 8 in the morning talking to a girl, you ARE shopping around, whether you call it such or not.)

3) Realize that if you do break up because you are cheating on your girlfriend, that that is what it is. The situation is only awkward because you choose it to be. I say that because, quite frankly you have two options.

a) Break up with the girl you are dating
b) Don't break up with her

Now realize if you do, because you had a crush and started to shop around, that that is a problem in and of itself. You rushed into the relationship. Are you ready to rush out? I dare say that both of these are 2 sides of the same coin, and that there is one core problem here. You are rushing. If you rush out of relationship with girl 1, it appears your plan is to rush into relationship with girl 2 which is the same problem and feeds the cycle.

My advice, SLOW DOWN! Don't jump in or out of anything for a bit and slow down.

Bill for the win. I don't think anyone can say it better. KaiserZr, you would be wise to heed this advice.

[relient nelson]

Originally Posted by kimberlyb0112

...make sure Girl #2 has feelings for you in the first place
because you don't want to break up with Girl #1 and then realize that
Girl #2 doesn't have feelings for you in the first place.. then
you would just be alone..
Good luck dude..

This seems like very selfish reasoning to me..

[Dwight Schrute]

if you dump 1 for 2, you lose respect in the sight of both. who is to say 2 won't think in the back of their mind you're fickle and will dump them for someone else at any point? consider what this says about your internal character. consider taking a month off from dating anyone to evaluate your feelings and attitudes about dating.

[KaiserZr]

I have taken all your opinions into account and as for the rating thing....I wasn't rating the girl herself I was giving a ratio in terms of how strong I felt for them....and to answer another point I agree....if dating isn't for the future pretense of getting married then there is no point for it....found out Casey does like me but she has said a lot of what you guys have said about slowing down me needing to make sure and not to lead either one of them on....and she and yall are right....thanks for all the comments....I will be sure to take them all into account when making a decision along with my own incite and prayer...