[Ted Logan]

Hi, all. I need help with a strange problem. I got a message today from a guy who was my best friend in 5th grade. I never talked to him after that year. In 7th, I became a Christian and in high school, he came out of the closet as gay. Anyway, he sent me a message via Facebook today, and I need your help to figure out how to respond.

First of all, I only have one or two friends from school days as friends on Facebook. I make a habit of ignoring friendship requests from people I don't really know anymore. My intention is to ignore his friend request. But at the same time, I need to respond in some way to the message (which was essentially simply a "hey, how are things going?" message). I would like to respond in a way that gives honor to the LORD and sets the Gospel on high without intentionally offending this former friend or attacking him. Any advice would be appreciated.

[MtlMom]

Just add him. You might be the perfect tool for something God is trying to fix in his life.

[Epaphras]

Nothing harmed by adding him. It's obvious to me (since you are asking us here) that there is something working in you regarding this person in particular (as opposed to the others), so I would take the next step by confirming and writing a quick note back. Keep him in your prayers and see what happens!

[bravesfan007]

If anything by adding him and updating your status you have the potential to speak something positive into his life. For this reason I usually add most everyone who sends me a request. I never know when they may want/need to talk.

[rock_show_host]

I agree with everyone else who's replied. You never know if there's a way you could help him by talking to him -- maybe there's a reason he looked you up after all these years.

[tmlfan123]

Why not? Why would you shut him out?

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by Ted Logan

Hi, all. I need help with a strange problem. I got a message today from a guy who was my best friend in 5th grade. I never talked to him after that year. In 7th, I became a Christian and in high school, he came out of the closet as gay. Anyway, he sent me a message via Facebook today, and I need your help to figure out how to respond.

First of all, I only have one or two friends from school days as friends on Facebook. I make a habit of ignoring friendship requests from people I don't really know anymore. My intention is to ignore his friend request. But at the same time, I need to respond in some way to the message (which was essentially simply a "hey, how are things going?" message). I would like to respond in a way that gives honor to the LORD and sets the Gospel on high without intentionally offending this former friend or attacking him. Any advice would be appreciated.

"It's going good. Nice to hear from you!" ?

[OiBoyz]

Add him. If you find his posts offensive, just hide him. I use my facebook status to post a lot of different stuff. And I try to be encouraging. You don't know what God can use to speak to this guy. Being gay isn't the unforgivable sin. Maybe God is using you to reach him.

[Ted Logan]

Originally Posted by tmlfan123

Why not? Why would you shut him out?

I wouldn't be "shutting him out." I said I intended to respond to the message. My question is more about how to respond than it is about whether to add him as a friend. That said, some of what has been said in this thread (and by a couple of trusted friends in person) has me leaning toward making an exception to my rule.

And just in case it seems strange to some folks that I would routinely ignore friend requests, the reason is that I used to have a couple dozen people from high school on my facebook friends list, and I got tired of having to delete application requests and other things just because my name is at the top of everyone's (alphabetical) list, even though the person hasn't seen or spoken to me in a dozen years.

Originally Posted by OiBoyz

Add him. If you find his posts offensive, just hide him. I use my facebook status to post a lot of different stuff. And I try to be encouraging. You don't know what God can use to speak to this guy. Being gay isn't the unforgivable sin. Maybe God is using you to reach him.

I never said his homosexuality would be a reason I wouldn't add him. It's a complicating factor in what I would write to him, but it wasn't impacting my decision to write him or add him as a friend.

bobthecockroach gave practical advice in the direction I was looking, except that it's quite bare. I consider this an opportunity to preach the Gospel in a Christ-honoring way; how should I proceed?

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by Ted Logan

I wouldn't be "shutting him out." I said I intended to respond to the message. My question is more about how to respond than it is about whether to add him as a friend. That said, some of what has been said in this thread (and by a couple of trusted friends in person) has me leaning toward making an exception to my rule.

And just in case it seems strange to some folks that I would routinely ignore friend requests, the reason is that I used to have a couple dozen people from high school on my facebook friends list, and I got tired of having to delete application requests and other things just because my name is at the top of everyone's (alphabetical) list, even though the person hasn't seen or spoken to me in a dozen years.


I never said his homosexuality would be a reason I wouldn't add him. It's a complicating factor in what I would write to him, but it wasn't impacting my decision to write him or add him as a friend.

bobthecockroach gave practical advice in the direction I was looking, except that it's quite bare. I consider this an opportunity to preach the Gospel in a Christ-honoring way; how should I proceed?

I would very briefly give the basics of your life. Where you are at school, that you are married, etc, and in essence open the door for conversation. I would start a conversation, and let Christ arise naturally, as the gospel is a part of your life.

I just added a childhood friend who I know divorced his wife for an affair, and recently married, yet a third woman. (and I know all 3 girls) However, I know his friends, and I am probably the last Christian he would reach out to.

[rock_show_host]

Originally Posted by Ted Logan

I never said his homosexuality would be a reason I wouldn't add him. It's a complicating factor in what I would write to him, but it wasn't impacting my decision to write him or add him as a friend.

bobthecockroach gave practical advice in the direction I was looking, except that it's quite bare. I consider this an opportunity to preach the Gospel in a Christ-honoring way; how should I proceed?

Why do you need to address his homosexuality in your reply to him? He just asked how you're doing. What Bill wrote sounds like an appropriate reply to me.

If you're looking to witness to him or show him the Gospel, honestly, using your very first words to him in years to remind him that you're a Christian and don't approve of his lifestyle is not the best way to do it. If anything, it would likely turn him away. You're in a position now to reconnect with him, and be a witness through your own lifestyle rather than just trying hard to infuse the Gospel into your every word. I think Bill said it best:

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

I would start a conversation, and let Christ arise naturally, as the gospel is a part of your life.

Again, he initiated contact with you. Who knows? Maybe he remembers what you believe, and is at a point in his life where he's looking for someone to talk to about it. Maybe he'll actually be the first to bring up the Gospel.

[Ted Logan]

Thanks, BSPE and rock show host.

These have been good responses. Thanks!