[jehannash]

Originally Posted by Skeeter

How long have you been dating?

6 months.. but we've known each other for quiet a long time..3-4 years i think

[Skeeter]

So, can I assume that you have been dating for less than a year?

[tlj009]

So, can I assume that you have been dating for less than a year?

I think that you can assume that they have been dating for 6 months. Or did you mean how long has she been dating anyone?

[Skeeter]

No, I meant the two of them. I didn't see her response before I made that last post. If it's only been six months, that's way too early to get engaged anyways, in my opinion. Never mind the controversy that's come up as a result of his previous relationship.

My advice: slow down. Take your time. If he's the right guy for you, he'll still be the right guy in a year or two. Don't feel rushed or pressured into getting engaged right now. Continue dating for a while; eventually the truth will come out or the uproar will die down and you can actually properly evaluate whether this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is not something that you want to rush into, especially if there are some question marks in the air.

[OiBoyz]

You posted this in the Advice forum, so here's my advice, though I don't think you'll take it.

Run, don't walk away from this relationship. Here are my reasons:

1) He was suspended, just this year. For something that was bad enough it warranted action by his church.

2) Much of what you have said sounds like either it's rationalization coming from him, or it's coming from you. Either way, I don't sense the ring of truth to it

just one mistake and all the good things you've done will be quickly forgotten..and the incident did not happen within the last 5 years but just this year actually.. though His senior pastor wanted to give him the chance but its only for the sake of the opinions of others-He got suspended.. we all know that His S.Pastor doesnt want to suspend him but the other side were insisting of it that's why He got suspended

3) Quite frankly, and I'm not trying to be mean, but you sound way too immature for marriage. This guy (who has some real issues that you don't want to look at because of your feelings) is made out in your posts to be the good guy, while your dad is the bad guy for not liking him. You say based on nothing but half stories. But your dad knows enough to know that he was suspended. You're willing to give this guy, who was suspended from ministry, the benefit of the doubt over your own father. I don't pretend to know what kind of a man your dad is, but you make him sound like some kind of controlling monster, while your boyfriend is merely misunderstood, and maybe even a victim of the crazy old ex-girlfriend's plotting. You sound like one of those silly girls who will put up with anything just because she loves him. This is how abuse victims are made. Don't be one.

[1/2-Fast Player]

+1 to OiBoyz.

I'll just reinforce her advice with a couple of points, to wit:


Your boyfriend has loved you for a few months.

Your dad has loved you for 22 years. He's seen you go from the cradle to young womanhood, and he therefore understands things about you that you probably don't understand yourself. He's also lived long enough that he has better instincts than you. And he certainly understands how a man thinks better than you do.

Listen to him.

And if that's tough, listen to the God who commanded us to honor our parents and listen to your dad anyway.

Everything you've posted sets off warning bells in my head and I've never met either one of you. The alarms must sound like gongs to your dad.