Okay, so I have this friend, she moved away a while ago, she's coming back soon but I really miss her. oddly. and lately I've developed. uhh. feeling's for her. it's very odd. and I'm a bit flustered as I've always seen her as like a sister but she moved it I really miss her now, and realized how much I like(d) her. What do I do about this?



Should this go in dating and relationships?

[DaGeek]

First off, it's okay to miss people, and it's okay to be attracted to someone. Try not to get flustered about it or panic: It's completely normal, and you're not weird for it.


As for what you do about it? Depends: What do you want to do about it? Are you old enough to date? Do you think she's interested in you?

Originally Posted by DaGeek

First off, it's okay to miss people, and it's okay to be attracted to someone. Try not to get flustered about it or panic: It's completely normal, and you're not weird for it.


As for what you do about it? Depends: What do you want to do about it? Are you old enough to date? Do you think she's interested in you?

Cool. as for her being interested in me? no I don't think so. she's 2 years older than me. and I'm almost 18 so :shrug: I just don't know I'm just a bit i dunno it's just weird.

Also, I think that it's not so much that she doesn't like me but more as she see's me more brotherly as I see/saw her a a sister kind of. just friends.


I think this is something I should just get over. she'll be in Dec so I'll see what happens then

[DaGeek]

Well, if that's the case, the best thing to do, I think, would be to wait until she's back around and hang out with her when you can, then proceed from there based upon her (and your) reactions. Don't assume either A) that she's interested in you, or B) that she's not interested in you. You know what they say about assumptions . Instead, just try not to worry about it and let what happens happen. Just don't rush anything and you'll be fine.

Originally Posted by DaGeek

Well, if that's the case, the best thing to do, I think, would be to wait until she's back around and hang out with her when you can, then proceed from there based upon her (and your) reactions. Don't assume either A) that she's interested in you, or B) that she's not interested in you. You know what they say about assumptions . Instead, just try not to worry about it and let what happens happen. Just don't rush anything and you'll be fine.

thanks man, I'll keep that in mind. I don't want to rush anything. so yeah. thanks.

[burningtr33]

As someone already mentioned it, it is ok to miss someone. However do you see this going anywhere? Do you think you can sustain a relationship? If nothing is going to happen then i suggest forget about it and move on.

Originally Posted by burningtr33

As someone already mentioned it, it is ok to miss someone. However do you see this going anywhere? Do you think you can sustain a relationship? If nothing is going to happen then i suggest forget about it and move on.

I don't know. and you should know better than that. it's not east to just forget about it

[Nate]

Originally Posted by Guest45

Cool. as for her being interested in me? no I don't think so. she's 2 years older than me. and I'm almost 18 so :shrug: I just don't know I'm just a bit i dunno it's just weird.

You've described pretty much exactly how my wife and I got together.

We knew each other through youth group, then she went away (4-5 hrs drive) to college.

We had been becoming better friends during the year or two prior to her going off to college far away.

When she came back the first couple of times with some of her friends, we got together.

I started realizing that I missed doing stuff with her and being with her.

She transferred to a closer school (1 hr), and we started dating the summer in-between.

At the time we started dating, I was almost 18, and she was 2 years older (ok, she still is 2 years older).

She was already half-way through college, I hadn't started, but somehow we worked it out.

Who knows. This could be the start of a beautiful thing for you two.

Originally Posted by Nate

You've described pretty much exactly how my wife and I got together.

We knew each other through youth group, then she went away (4-5 hrs drive) to college.

We had been becoming better friends during the year or two prior to her going off to college far away.

When she came back the first couple of times with some of her friends, we got together.

I started realizing that I missed doing stuff with her and being with her.

She transferred to a closer school (1 hr), and we started dating the summer in-between.

At the time we started dating, I was almost 18, and she was 2 years older (ok, she still is 2 years older).

She was already half-way through college, I hadn't started, but somehow we worked it out.

Who knows. This could be the start of a beautiful thing for you two.

That's interesting Nate. Thanks for that. That's pretty much exactly what's happening right now to me.

[burningtr33]

Originally Posted by Guest45

I don't know. and you should know better than that. it's not east to just forget about it

I'm sorry if i came on as too harsh or mean. I was in class and i had to give a quick post so my apologies.

Yes I know that it is not that easy to forget. I remember my friend whens she moved 3000 miles away for the east coast for school I missed her quite terribly. Of course I liked her which made this transition all the more hard for me. I remember i completed a 750 piece puzzle and a 1000 piece puzzle just to get my mind off of her. haha. What i mean to say is that i understand what you are going through. I went through the same things. It is going to be tough.

At the same time you have to face reality. You have to be honest with yourself and really ask yourself the hard questions. I know your not going to like it and its going to be hard but your just going to have to (this is going to sound harsh) suck it up and move on. Not saying that it will be easy but that is what you are going to have to do one way or the other. You can drag this on and on if you want to but you are just going to end up wasting time and missing out on opportunities.

Originally Posted by burningtr33

I'm sorry if i came on as too harsh or mean. I was in class and i had to give a quick post so my apologies.

Yes I know that it is not that easy to forget. I remember my friend whens she moved 3000 miles away for the east coast for school I missed her quite terribly. Of course I liked her which made this transition all the more hard for me. I remember i completed a 750 piece puzzle and a 1000 piece puzzle just to get my mind off of her. haha. What i mean to say is that i understand what you are going through. I went through the same things. It is going to be tough.

At the same time you have to face reality. You have to be honest with yourself and really ask yourself the hard questions. I know your not going to like it and its going to be hard but your just going to have to (this is going to sound harsh) suck it up and move on. Not saying that it will be easy but that is what you are going to have to do one way or the other. You can drag this on and on if you want to but you are just going to end up wasting time and missing out on opportunities.

I understand completley. but my situation is different. my friend is coming back in a couple months. So I have a chance....kind of....maybe.....well.....probably not . we'll see what happens. I think she would see it as akward. as do I but it's just like ahhhh!!!

Ughh, No edit's for me. I have an account here. but I don't like posting about personal stuff under a name people can find. oh well.


Also. I'm scared to even talk to her. I'm very shy especially around people I like, we're good friends and it's not hard to talk to her but it's so. weird if you know what I mean.

[burningtr33]

Originally Posted by Guest45

. I'm very shy especially around people I like, we're good friends and it's not hard to talk to her but it's so. weird if you know what I mean.

That's like me too. People can tell if i like someone because they can tell that i have a hard time approaching someone. But anyway yea. It is scary. The thing we want the most scares us the most.

As i said before you are going to have to do it. Its going to put you in the most awkward of situation as life can put you in and it is going to take a whole lot of guts just to bring it up but what must be done must be done. Not to put you down or anything but a general trend about Christian guys is they are not being men. I remember a sermon i heard, the pastor said that when he would ask why a lot of christian women were going for non christian men is because the women felt like christian men were not stepping up, but the non christian men were. And being a youth teacher i notice the trend a lot. I see it in my high school boys and some in my college boys as well. They are too afraid to step up and DTR (Determine the relationship). (Of course this is no excuse for christian women to be in a relationship with men outside of our faith)

It is going to be tough. No doubt. But just do it. haha. Hope this helps. I did not want to downplay you or anything, i just wanted you to take action.

Originally Posted by burningtr33

That's like me too. People can tell if i like someone because they can tell that i have a hard time approaching someone. But anyway yea. It is scary. The thing we want the most scares us the most.

As i said before you are going to have to do it. Its going to put you in the most awkward of situation as life can put you in and it is going to take a whole lot of guts just to bring it up but what must be done must be done. Not to put you down or anything but a general trend about Christian guys is they are not being men. I remember a sermon i heard, the pastor said that when he would ask why a lot of christian women were going for non christian men is because the women felt like christian men were not stepping up, but the non christian men were. And being a youth teacher i notice the trend a lot. I see it in my high school boys and some in my college boys as well. They are too afraid to step up and DTR (Determine the relationship). (Of course this is no excuse for christian women to be in a relationship with men outside of our faith)

It is going to be tough. No doubt. But just do it. haha. Hope this helps. I did not want to downplay you or anything, i just wanted you to take action.

I can't agree with you more. men in the church today just don't act like it. I dunno, it'll be really awkward. Aghh I hate this feeling.