Well, now my neighbor think's I'm homocidal and paranoid.

niangelo · 10-18-2009, 01:12 AM

*Note* I realize the irony of this, what with the other thread I have on the GD forum. It has not escaped me.

OK: backstory.

My kids' (1 and 3) room is on the front of the house. There's a huge lilac bush right outside the window, pretty much from the front walk to the window. We've always been a little wary of that setup, because anyone could get in that window without being seen from the street. But I'm not really the paraniod type, so I didn't worry about it.

Two days ago, my three year-old tells my wife, "There was a bad guy watching us!" Apparently someone in the alley behind our house while my kid was on the swing. Hmmm. He's three, so I kind of shrugged at it.

So tonight, I'm upstairs, walking by my master bedroom window that looks out over the front yard and sidewalk. Just as I walk by, I look down at the sidewalk, and a guy looks at me, then walks down the sidewalk, on the other side of the lilac bush, where I can't really see him. He hangs around for a few seconds, then keep walking out of view. Hmm. A little odd, but I didn't know if I caught him in mid stride, or whatever. I tell my wife, who in here defense, is also not very jumpy. We live on a dead-end street with little foot traffic, especially at night. She gets a little weirded.

So then a couple minutes later, my wife is walking by the window, and says,

"Hey, I think I see that guy you were talking about. He's... he just WENT INTO THE BUSH. HE'S IN THE LILAC BUSH."

Oh, about three feet from where my kids are sleeping. Please, give the the benefit of the doubt here. I'm not an overprotective man-bear parent. Really.

Snap logic goes like this, at this moment:

Dude in alley + dude hanging around on sidewalk at night + dude going into the lilac bush towards my kid's big sliding window at ground level = snap.

My wife and I bolt down the stairs, she to the kid's room and me to the door. On my way through the kitchen, I grab the first thing I see. My new butcher knife. Sigh.

I run around to the front sidewalk, to see two dudes in front of my neighbors house.

I point the knife at them, and, adrenaline coursing through my shaky veins, and ask politely, "WHO THE F*CK'S IN MY YARD?"

Two very surprised the polite guys stare at me, and one says "uh.... that was me. I was grabbing a handful of snow to wash my windshield, and your trees still had some left on the ground." (We had a light snow a couple days ago that had mostly melted).

I sheepishly, gingerly lowered the knife, explained my situation (not very well) and painfully walked back into my house.

I'm a nice guy. Really.

**Tallahassee** · 10-18-2009, 01:25 AM

At least you left the shotgun in the house...

slap_j · 10-18-2009, 01:26 AM

That guy's never stepping foot in your yard again.

niangelo · 10-18-2009, 01:29 AM

Oh, and he had a hood on. You know who else wore a hood?

slap_j · 10-18-2009, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niangelo

Oh, and he had a hood on. You know who else wore a hood?

Kentl · 10-18-2009, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slap_j

That guy's never stepping foot in your yard again.

i dont think any of us will go to his CGR party at his house

**DaGeek** · 10-18-2009, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slap_j

That guy's never stepping foot in your yard again.

QFT!

Honestly, niangelo, I can't really blame you. That's a really suspicious thing to be doing... Odd reason, too. Did you know the guy?

JesusFrEaK0077 · 10-18-2009, 11:17 AM

He couldn't use windshield washer fluid thats in every car to wash his windshield or even water to wash it? Lol strange reason to be lurking around someones house.

**MtlMom** · 10-18-2009, 11:31 AM

The butcher knife may have been a little over the top, but something still doesn't sound right about the whole situation. You might want to prune the lower foliage from that lilac bush and make it a lilac tree.

OiBoyz · 10-18-2009, 12:44 PM

I agree with MtlMom. When I read it last night, I thought the "I needed some snow" sounded odd.

Ounce of prevention, trim the bush and put a good lock on the sliding door. Maybe even an alarm. Maybe have the dog sleep in that room.

**H.M. Murdock** · 10-18-2009, 01:14 PM

Dominated.

Put in a lock and trim your shrubberies, sir. Keep the butcher knife, though, because that's amazing.
(In your defense, Niangelo, I ran into my back yard not too long ago with a dueling derringer only to almost pistol whip Chuck, the guy who lives above my garage.)

**earlessdog** · 10-18-2009, 01:40 PM

I don't blame you at all, the whole situation doesn't seem right at all.

scared2mosh · 10-18-2009, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niangelo

*Note* I realize the irony of this, what with the other thread I have on the GD forum. It has not escaped me.

OK: backstory.

My kids' (1 and 3) room is on the front of the house. There's a huge lilac bush right outside the window, pretty much from the front walk to the window. We've always been a little wary of that setup, because anyone could get in that window without being seen from the street. But I'm not really the paraniod type, so I didn't worry about it.

Two days ago, my three year-old tells my wife, "There was a bad guy watching us!" Apparently someone in the alley behind our house while my kid was on the swing. Hmmm. He's three, so I kind of shrugged at it.

So tonight, I'm upstairs, walking by my master bedroom window that looks out over the front yard and sidewalk. Just as I walk by, I look down at the sidewalk, and a guy looks at me, then walks down the sidewalk, on the other side of the lilac bush, where I can't really see him. He hangs around for a few seconds, then keep walking out of view. Hmm. A little odd, but I didn't know if I caught him in mid stride, or whatever. I tell my wife, who in here defense, is also not very jumpy. We live on a dead-end street with little foot traffic, especially at night. She gets a little weirded.

So then a couple minutes later, my wife is walking by the window, and says,

"Hey, I think I see that guy you were talking about. He's... he just WENT INTO THE BUSH. HE'S IN THE LILAC BUSH."

Oh, about three feet from where my kids are sleeping. Please, give the the benefit of the doubt here. I'm not an overprotective man-bear parent. Really.

Snap logic goes like this, at this moment:

Dude in alley + dude hanging around on sidewalk at night + dude going into the lilac bush towards my kid's big sliding window at ground level = snap.

My wife and I bolt down the stairs, she to the kid's room and me to the door. On my way through the kitchen, I grab the first thing I see. My new butcher knife. Sigh.

I run around to the front sidewalk, to see two dudes in front of my neighbors house.

I point the knife at them, and, adrenaline coursing through my shaky veins, and ask politely, "WHO THE F*CK'S IN MY YARD?"

Two very surprised the polite guys stare at me, and one says "uh.... that was me. I was grabbing a handful of snow to wash my windshield, and your trees still had some left on the ground." (We had a light snow a couple days ago that had mostly melted).

I sheepishly, gingerly lowered the knife, explained my situation (not very well) and painfully walked back into my house.

I'm a nice guy. Really.

good job Mr. Kowalski

but seriously I would have done the same thing... and I know my dad would have.

***Art*** · 10-18-2009, 03:03 PM

Friggin amazing.

niangelo · 10-18-2009, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesusFrEaK0077

He couldn't use windshield washer fluid thats in every car to wash his windshield or even water to wash it? Lol strange reason to be lurking around someones house.

Actually, in hindsight, I think it was my neighbor's friends who were chatting on the front walk or something. Kind of funny that they would be walking out there for the better part of a half-hour.

Well, at least I get to cross "threatened someone's life at knife-point" off my bucket list.