Is it really worth the wait?

x_cheese_y · 10-17-2009, 09:24 AM

After years of struggling with sexual purity, I really just want to know these two things. Is sex really worth the wait? Will it be better if I wait?

Please answer! I really need to know...

slap_j · 10-17-2009, 09:43 AM

1) First of all it is important to recognize the power of sex and therefore understand why the attitude of relative nonchalance held by much of the secular world is dangerous. However, you do not want to risk making an idol of "sexual purity." Fantasies about swadhisthana-shattering sexual experience by virtue of waiting is probably heading along that path (not accusing you, just sayin').

b) Read Song of Songs (Song of Solomon). It gives me little doubt that sex between married couples is the most satisfying.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 10-17-2009, 12:07 PM

Yes, it is worth it.

Will it be better if you wait? Well, no guilt...

**Epaphras** · 10-17-2009, 11:52 PM

Yes, coming from both sides of it, it IS better to wait.

**RK_lover** · 10-18-2009, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epaphras

Yes, coming from both sides of it, it IS better to wait.

Just curious...how could you come from both sides?

slap_j · 10-18-2009, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RK_lover

Just curious...how could you come from both sides?

Am I seeing double entendre here or am I just sleepy?

**Rainer.** · 10-18-2009, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RK_lover

Just curious...how could you come from both sides?

I believe the key here is the other side of marriage.

jthomas1600 · 10-18-2009, 07:41 AM

Is it worth waiting? Will it be better if I wait? If you are a Christian that believes sex outside of marriage is sinful I think these questions can be viewed as secondary. It's a question of obedience. My wife doesn't read this so I think I can post it with out causing her more reason to worry about me being out of the country. I'm not exaggerating when I say I am probably the only U S captain working in Brazil that is faithful to his wife. Most other guys down here do not just have flings. They have steady girlfriends. When they go home their with their wives, when they come back to Brazil they pick back up with their girlfriends. I have determined to be faithful to my wife not because it will be worth it or it will be better, but because that's what God expects of me and that's what I promised my wife when we got married. These decisions shouldn't be made based on a "cost/benefit analysis". If I preformed a cost/benefit analysis in my situation, rather than considering Gods standards, I would be headed to town. After all, there's not much chance I'd get caught.

OiBoyz · 10-18-2009, 12:42 PM

Obedience is always "worth it." Though it isn't always easy or fun. Just ask Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. We're called to give our bodies as a living sacrifice. If you're a single person (I am, and I'd be willing to bet I've been doing it longer than you have) it means chastity.

**Epaphras** · 10-18-2009, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RK_lover

Just curious...how could you come from both sides?

We couldn't manage to wait until marriage. Therefore I can compare it before marriage to after marriage. I can tell you that in marriage it is 100x better. Wish we woulda waited.

Ax · 10-18-2009, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by x_cheese_y

After years of struggling with sexual purity, I really just want to know these two things. Is sex really worth the wait? Will it be better if I wait?

Please answer! I really need to know...

It is a constant daily struggle for me. It's not a question of whether it's worth it or not, I'm not married yet so I wait. And that, as they say, is THAT!.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 10-18-2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ax

It is a constant daily struggle for me. It's not a question of whether it's worth it or not, I'm not married yet so I wait. And that, as they say, is THAT!.

Agreed. I made it to marriage. The key thing is not whether sex is better in marriage, but whether it is right. I am sure there are tons of things people claim as better than monogamy, but I don't care. At the end of the day it is putting one step ahead of the other and doing the right thing.

And you always can. Its not a matter of whether you can or can't. You can. Whether you choose to or not is the question.

niangelo · 10-18-2009, 08:18 PM

Failing to maintain sexual purity outside of marriage has a couple of consequences, on both sides of the coin. It gets portrayed as being the be-all end-all of baddie sins among the evangelical crowd, but there's different problems that come with different actions.

I think that being sexually active with your marriage partner before marriage can create some static within marriage. I certainly didn't hack it to remain chaste, and I think it created expectations of emotion that weren't realistic to sustain within a marriage setting. I'm not talking about enjoying each other, but that the element of the "forbidden" fades pretty quick once the ring is on. And that facade can fade pretty quick, and I think I learned the hard way.

On the other hand, I can't really imagine having multiple sexual partners, or getting really intimate with someone besides my wife today before marriage. For me, I imagine that would create a whole world of comparison and expectations and potential problems.

While I'm not glad that I slipped up before marriage, I can see that being monogamous (even sexually prior to marriage) is way different than having a whole history of romantic couplings prior to marriage, and that a couple that is dedicated to one another will have a much easier time reconciling their mistakes. Again, not a free pass, but just an insider's perspective.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 10-18-2009, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niangelo

Failing to maintain sexual purity outside of marriage has a couple of consequences, on both sides of the coin. It gets portrayed as being the be-all end-all of baddie sins among the evangelical crowd, but there's different problems that come with different actions.

I think that being sexually active with your marriage partner before marriage can create some static within marriage. I certainly didn't hack it to remain chaste, and I think it created expectations of emotion that weren't realistic to sustain within a marriage setting. I'm not talking about enjoying each other, but that the element of the "forbidden" fades pretty quick once the ring is on. And that facade can fade pretty quick, and I think I learned the hard way.

On the other hand, I can't really imagine having multiple sexual partners, or getting really intimate with someone besides my wife today before marriage. For me, I imagine that would create a whole world of comparison and expectations and potential problems.

While I'm not glad that I slipped up before marriage, I can see that being monogamous (even sexually prior to marriage) is way different than having a whole history of romantic couplings prior to marriage, and that a couple that is dedicated to one another will have a much easier time reconciling their mistakes. Again, not a free pass, but just an insider's perspective.

On the other hand, until you are married, you have no guarantee that the unchastness before marriage is not the creation of having multiple sexual partners before marriage.

Than · 10-26-2009, 02:45 PM

I can tell you too, that it's better to save yourself for marriage for practical reasons. There's no guarantee that the one you're with is going to be your spouse, no matter how in love you think you are or how good things seem now. When you add sex to the equation ☺☺☺☺ hits the fan a lot harder when the relationship goes south.

It creates a whole host of other issues, too...it's a serious step and a lot of times people aren't ready for what comes attached whether they're Christian or not.