[swim2112]

A little child in church for the first time watched as the
ushers passed
the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the
youngster
piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy,
I'm under
five."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service,
his cousin
asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly: "How do
you know
that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up,
like the
pastor said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to
his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow
up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and
I figure it'll be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged
on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if
we give
him the money now, will he let us go?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
Johnny sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked
him three
times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest
said he wanted
us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you
guys!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First
Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety
seven-year old boy
told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About
halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If
you don't be
quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have
to start
his sermon all over again!' It worked."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read
her a bedtime
story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book
and reach up
to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her
own cheek,
then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make
you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's
getting better
at it, isn't he?"

[MrCrabby]

Haha!