Promise ring anyone?

**slap_j** · 08-26-2009, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

My wife and I decided that she would just wear her engagement ring as her wedding ring. It's a unique design that wouldn't look all that good with another ring paired with it.

Aha. See, if Skeeter and Skeetess did it then it's all good. They're my model for awesome.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 08-26-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thrash

i dont mean to hijack the thread, but I have been confused about this for a loooong time: so, the engagement ring and the wedding ring are two seperate rings?
Or is it okay to use the wedding ring for the engagement? Or does the desire to do this make me really cheap?
It just seems like i am going to be putting down a whole doodoo load of money.
I was planning on spending around a grand for the wedding ring, but who knows how badly torn my budget will be if i have to buy another ring...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

My wife and I decided that she would just wear her engagement ring as her wedding ring. It's a unique design that wouldn't look all that good with another ring paired with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by slap_j

Aha. See, if Skeeter and Skeetess did it then it's all good. They're my model for awesome.

What they said.

I actually had a few people say, "Oh, like they do in Europe" when I told them there was only one ring. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but if you decide to just use one ring and someone looks at you funny, then just say, "Like they do in Europe." Then they will smile and nod and pretend they know what you're talking about.

p.s. <--That's my ring saying "Rawr! I'm shiny!" It's lovely all by itself and needs no other ring!

**Thrash** · 08-26-2009, 06:03 PM

Sorry again for hijacking but thanks everyone. I had been wondering that for a long time.

crazymoose · 08-26-2009, 06:10 PM

So in modern times is a promise ring for like if you've been dating someone for say 2 years and you want to marry them but you know it wouldn't be practical for another few years when you're out of college and have a career? Then you're like promising to marry them, just any time soon?

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 08-26-2009, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazymoose

So in modern times is a promise ring for like if you've been dating someone for say 2 years and you want to marry them but you know it wouldn't be practical for another few years when you're out of college and have a career? Then you're like promising to marry them, just any time soon?

Yah, I've always understood it to be a kind of pre-engagement.

**bravesfan007** · 08-26-2009, 10:27 PM

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who is thrown off by the idea of the promise ring. As weird as it sounds though I remember my mother trying to talk me into getting Leigh Ann one over an actual engagement ring. Of course, this was at the point she had no idea I planned to be wed in about a year.

**DaGeek** · 08-26-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pre-Ex-Girlfriend

Yah, I've always understood it to be a kind of pre-engagement.

But why not just get engaged? I suppose it just doesn't make much sense to me, but, then again, I'm very put-off by the thought of a multi-year-long engagement.

**slap_j** · 08-26-2009, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaGeek

But why not just get engaged?

One is formal and one is not. Check out the history of the banns of marriage. Although nowadays I suppose some people have a more dilettantish attitude toward engagements and will end them with much less hesitation than they would a marriage (and of course plenty of others don't take marriage that seriously either). As if the engagement is some sort of trial period.

**DaGeek** · 08-27-2009, 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slap_j

One is formal and one is not. Check out the history of the banns of marriage. Although nowadays I suppose some people have a more dilettantish attitude toward engagements and will end them with much less hesitation than they would a marriage (and of course plenty of others don't take marriage that seriously either). As if the engagement is some sort of trial period.

Hm. I guess it works for some people, then, and not others. I know that if I, personally, commit to marrying someone at any point in the future, it won't be without much careful thought and prayer, and I'm not going to take it lightly at all. However, I also know that I'm not the only type of person, and there are definitely different situations, so hey, I guess whatever works for the individual.

**Epaphras** · 08-27-2009, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaGeek

then again, I'm very put-off by the thought of a multi-year-long engagement.

For us, we were freshman in college (and had been dating 1.5 years) when I gave her the promise ring, and to us it represented taking things to the next level: beyond casual dating, into the realm of a serious commitment, but not quite at the engagement stage.

If we had met and dated 5 years later at 22 instead of 17, we probably would have skipped the promise ring and just gotten engaged during the "seriously-committed dating couple" stage. But we were 19/18 at the time and had to wait 3 years -- too long for an engagement, but also (for us) too long to go without expressing some form of deeper commitment.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 08-27-2009, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pre-Ex-Girlfriend

What they said.

I actually had a few people say, "Oh, like they do in Europe" when I told them there was only one ring. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but if you decide to just use one ring and someone looks at you funny, then just say, "Like they do in Europe." Then they will smile and nod and pretend they know what you're talking about.

p.s. <--That's my ring saying "Rawr! I'm shiny!" It's lovely all by itself and needs no other ring!

The reason for this is largely the size of diamond expected. I have an engagement ring from the 1880s and the diamond is hardly a chip.

However, with averages now of over 1ct, the diamond will not set well with a band.

My wife wears two, but I am very traditional and I could only afford a 1/3 carat back then. My wife and I were engaged for 3.5 years so I really do not see the point of a promise ring.

**Thrash** · 08-27-2009, 10:46 AM

So... Do the guys buy their own ring? Or do the girls? Or does it just depend on preference?

Someone told me a long time ago that the dude has to buy his own...

**thesteve** · 08-27-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thrash

So... Do the guys buy their own ring? Or do the girls? Or does it just depend on preference?

Someone told me a long time ago that the dude has to buy his own...

Traditionally I think the girl is supposed to band for the guy's wedding band.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 08-27-2009, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesteve

Traditionally I think the girl is supposed to band for the guy's wedding band.

Yep.

**bravesfan007** · 08-27-2009, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thrash

So... Do the guys buy their own ring? Or do the girls? Or does it just depend on preference?

Someone told me a long time ago that the dude has to buy his own...

That's the way I've always understood it, which if you ask me is still a little bit uneven. For a lot of men (myself included) their band is a lot cheaper because it's a lot more plain and simple. In fact, I have considered not even going with gold. I have yet to make up my mind 100% what I want, but I'm getting there.