Go Back   Christian Guitar Forum > Community > General Discussion
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 01-01-2020, 08:19 PM   #1036
طعام الكلب
 
dogfood's Avatar
 

Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 14,764
Send a message via MSN to dogfood
I answered the door this morning.

A 6ft beetle punched me in the face & called me a fat twat.

Apparently there's a nasty bug going round!

__________________
dogfood is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Unread 01-03-2020, 05:12 PM   #1037
طعام الكلب
 
dogfood's Avatar
 

Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 14,764
Send a message via MSN to dogfood
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?" The horse ponders for a minute, then replies "I don't think I am," and then he suddenly disappears into thin air.

This is the part where the philosophy students in the bar will start to snicker, because they are familiar with Descartes' postulate "I think, therefore I am." But to tell you that beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
__________________
dogfood is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-13-2020, 07:59 PM   #1038
طعام الكلب
 
dogfood's Avatar
 

Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 14,764
Send a message via MSN to dogfood
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

all go to a nightclub ..................................

The doorman stops them and says sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.
__________________
dogfood is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-13-2020, 10:46 PM   #1039
طعام الكلب
 
dogfood's Avatar
 

Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 14,764
Send a message via MSN to dogfood
A Jehovahs Witness knocked on my door so I invited him in ,sat him down and gave him a cup of tea."So tell me" I said "What's this Jehovahs Witness thing all about ?".....He replied "I haven't got a clue,I've never got this far before ".
__________________
dogfood is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-21-2020, 05:24 PM   #1040
طعام الكلب
 
dogfood's Avatar
 

Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 14,764
Send a message via MSN to dogfood
In a city park stood two naked statues, one female and the other male.

These two statues had faced each other for many years.

Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said,.. “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people,.. I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life,.. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire.”

And with that command, the statues came to life, smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and disappeared behind a couple of bushes.

The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.

After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues,.. “You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?”

The male statue looked at the female and asked, “Do you want to do it again?”

Smiling, the female statue said, “Sure. But this time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on its head”
__________________
dogfood is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:44 PM.


Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2