Problem with a couple of friends

6strings21frets · 07-22-2009, 05:40 AM

Not sure whether this belongs in Advice, here or elsewhere, so if a mod could move it to the right forum, that would be great. Anyway...

This is a long story, just to let you know beforehand.

Okay, so the whole thing started with me liking a girl back around March or so. It went on until the start of this month. I didn't really have the guts to tell her because she's one of those girls that everyone knows and can sometimes be unpredictable about what goes said and unsaid.

Anyway, last day of last semester, I finally have the guts to tell her. It goes terribly. I freak out, can't get the words out and end up scaring her a bit. I manage to calm myself quickly and tell her calmly. I was a bit emotional too. She started smiling and we had a bit of a laugh about my nervousness but tells me she's already seeing someone. I get a bit more emotional but I hold it together. She was really nice to me though and said something along the lines of "You're a really nice guy and I'm sure there's someone out there for you". She's right, of course...right?

Anyway, I ask her to keep quiet about it and not tell anyone. She agrees to do it, we say our goodbyes, wish each other safe/happy holidays and leave. Once she and all my other friends are out of the way and see that I'm gone, I start to let out my emotions. I can't just keep it bottled inside for quite a few obvious reasons.

When I get home, my mum lets me jump on to my Facebook page and I see some mutual friends online (friends of mine and hers. She doesn't have Facebook). I tell them what happened and they all agree to keep quiet about it too. They give me some good advice and it seems to work.

Anyway, I get back to school on Monday (two days ago) and a few people come to me asking if I like her. I tell all of them no, ask them where they got that idea and they tell me that one of her really close friends told them.

Monday night, I get on Facebook again and talk to one of our friends and ask if she knows anything. She says she didn't, and I trust her (she's NEVER given me a reason to doubt her before). She says she thinks the girl I liked told her friend in the hope that she'd keep quiet about it too, which she didn't.

Now I guess the problem is that I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

tht00 · 07-22-2009, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6strings21frets

Now I guess the problem is that I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Forget about it.

People are terrible at keeping secrets.

The more you let it bother you, the more people will notice and possibly harass* you about it.

It seems that you're young (15?). High school tends to increase the drama of things like this. It becomes less of an issue as you become older.

*If it gets excessive, go to the school counselor. They should know how to handle harassment issues. But what you're experiencing now seems normal.

**Rainer.** · 07-22-2009, 01:15 PM

Yeah, sounds like high school to me.

Shrug it off, because honestly these things go around but no one else really cares about it. It'll go away soon enough.

roscoestring · 07-22-2009, 02:53 PM

I'd go to her friend that spread the gossip and ask her for a date.

6strings21frets · 07-23-2009, 02:37 AM

Yeah it is high school but I've had trouble with her friend in the past. Basically what I need to do is get the message across to her friend but don't know how to do it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by roscoestring

I'd go to her friend that spread the gossip and ask her for a date.

~~Gee, thanks for the advice~~

burningtr33 · 07-23-2009, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

Yeah, sounds like high school to me.

Shrug it off, because honestly these things go around but no one else really cares about it. It'll go away soon enough.

Totally and 100% agree. It would seem like if this is the end of the world. its not.

I know its gonna be hard to forget and this will be on your mind for quite sometime, but learn from it. Learn how to deal with issues and learn how to cope. Use this time to grow. And if you need to vent i would suggest talking to a REALLY close friend that wont spill secrets (i suppose your post defeats the purpose of this advice) or write a journal and just pour your emotions into it.

Hope this helped.

**Rainer.** · 07-23-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6strings21frets

Yeah it is high school but I've had trouble with her friend in the past. Basically what I need to do is get the message across to her friend but don't know how to do it.

Try talking to her?

I mean, if all else fails, just try to avoid letting potentially harmful information out in the first place.

6strings21frets · 07-24-2009, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

Try talking to her?

I mean, if all else fails, just try to avoid letting potentially harmful information out in the first place.

Yeah...I tried to catch her after school today. Didn't quite work. She was on the phone with someone and heading somewhere in a hurry. Our friend (the one who I talked to on Monday night) said she'll give her my number and get her to call me but it turns out she can't ring me back because she doesn't have credit, so now we're just trying to figure out how to work it out.

Also, are you saying I shouldn't ask her to keep quiet about it? The last statement is confusing me. Perhaps it is a good thing if I didn't ask that. Maybe it would help me develop a bit more self-confidence, but that's just my interpretation of what you said, so...I don't know.