[3rdCrossBand]

Hey guys and girls, this is my first shot at a song. Tell me what you think:

Written around Isaiah 53: 1-6

How am I supposed to see
What I just don’t understand
Somehow mercy let grace
Play out through just one Man

As we stand here and blame
The reason for our pain
On innocence that’s lost
With a Man who’s in our place

Like a flower with no shame
In a desert with no rain
Had no petals to proclaim
The glory of Your name

We heard you when You cried
When the Father left your side
You know the pain we feel in life
And give us pity in our strife

Like a flower with no shame
In a desert with no rain
Had no petals to proclaim
The glory of Your name

Still with no petals to proclaim,
Standing fast in our place
Your mercy paid the price
With the perfect sacrifice.

[roscoestring]

Augghhhhh. Now you've got me humming that tune. I hate it when that happens. I'll end up humming that all day long now.




Nice lyrics.

[3rdCrossBand]

Thanks !

I haven't put music to it yet, maybe you could share that tune in your head with me so i can finish this puppy up

[6strings21frets]

For your first song, this is terrific!

Here are my thoughts.

1. Use this for a chorus:

Originally Posted by 3rdCrossBand

Like a flower with no shame
In a desert with no rain
Had no petals to proclaim
The glory of Your name

2. You might want to name the title something referring to a flower, since you always go back to the same thing.

Again, great work. Keep it up!

[tmlfan123]

Originally Posted by 3rdCrossBand

Hey guys and girls, this is my first shot at a song. Tell me what you think:

Honestly, this may be the best first song anyone has written here.

Originally Posted by 3rdCrossBand

How am I supposed to see
What I just don’t understand
Somehow mercy let grace
Play out through just one Man

As we stand here and blame
The reason for our pain
On innocence that’s lost
With a Man who’s in our place

Like a flower with no shame
In a desert with no rain
Had no petals to proclaim
The glory of Your name

We heard you when You cried
When the Father left your side
You know the pain we feel in life
And give us pity in our strife

Like a flower with no shame
In a desert with no rain
Had no petals to proclaim
The glory of Your name

Still with no petals to proclaim,
Standing fast in our place
Your mercy paid the price
With the perfect sacrifice.

It may not be church worship-friendly, but you make some key points here. There's not really anything new that can be said, just new ways to say it, and I think you've found a way here. I'm not sure I fully understand the metaphor of the flower, but I really like that as a chorus.