Go Back   Christian Guitar Forum > Community > Entertainment > Humor
If College Students Had Written The Bible

If College Students Had Written The Bible

Register FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-06-2002, 09:33 AM   #1
Peace Fanatic
 
sheep's Avatar
 

Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Wherever my mind wanders
Posts: 1,348
Send a message via AIM to sheep Send a message via Yahoo to sheep
If College Students Had Written The Bible
Loaves and fishes replaced by pizza and chips.

Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.

Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.

Paul's letters to the Romans become Paul's e-mail to the Romans.

Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather finals.

Tower of Babel blamed for foreign language requirement.

Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a freshman.

Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.

__________________

If Jesus didn't side with the Pharisees, Sadducees, Scribes, Priests, Romans, Kings, etc, what makes you think that He will side with your political party? Think about it. <BR>
<center> </center>
Thought for the moment/day/week/month or so... <BR>Why do people have "Power of Pride" and "Proud to be an American" bumperstickers? Proverbs 16:18
*Please keep Mike in your prayers folks. Thanks!*
sheep is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 02-06-2002, 09:53 AM   #2
Very nice!
 
Brent's Avatar
 

Joined: Feb 2001
Location: North Augusta, SC
Posts: 7,121
paid
Send a message via AIM to Brent
Re: If College Students Had Written The Bible
Quote:
Originally posted by sheep
Loaves and fishes replaced by pizza and chips.
I would've guessed ramen noodles and Diet Coke or other similar soft drink...
__________________
"White Americans, what?
Nothing better to do?
Why don't you kick yourself out
You're an immigrant, too!
Who's using who?
What should we do?
Well, you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too!

The White Stripes - "Icky Thump"
Brent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2002, 10:23 AM   #3
PATRICK IS MY FAVORITE
 
swim2112's Avatar
 

Joined: Sep 2001
Location: Abilene, TX
Posts: 13,071
Send a message via ICQ to swim2112 Send a message via AIM to swim2112 Send a message via MSN to swim2112 Send a message via Yahoo to swim2112
Hot Pockets and Dr. Pepper
__________________
"i'm a cute factory tonight"--Chris
"And always remember "I am not fat, I am NOT fat" <-- this will help you along in life"--Waggster
"In order to avoid criticism, never do anything. Ever."--Random Quote
"I don't need luck, I need ANSWERS!"--Steve
"I am woman hear me roar! RARR"-- Random Quote
"My ice cream is getting cold!!!"--Brent
"I think it's interesting where the interstates are. Call it a fetish " --Luke
"LINDSEY, TU AMOR ES MAYOR QUE HELADO!" --Brent
"Then they run around in a circle trying to start a tornado."-- Benj
"Lindsey is usually like a drunk person sober."--Travis
http://www.marykay.com/lindsey-miller
CGRblogthing
swim2112 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2002, 01:17 PM   #4
Peace Fanatic
 
sheep's Avatar
 

Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Wherever my mind wanders
Posts: 1,348
Send a message via AIM to sheep Send a message via Yahoo to sheep
it'd be food snuck out of the cafeteria
__________________

If Jesus didn't side with the Pharisees, Sadducees, Scribes, Priests, Romans, Kings, etc, what makes you think that He will side with your political party? Think about it. <BR>
<center> </center>
Thought for the moment/day/week/month or so... <BR>Why do people have "Power of Pride" and "Proud to be an American" bumperstickers? Proverbs 16:18
*Please keep Mike in your prayers folks. Thanks!*
sheep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2002, 01:21 PM   #5
Jesus is my Superhero
 
Lowe_Dawg55's Avatar
 

Joined: Nov 2001
Location: Good 'ol Arkansas
Posts: 294
Re: If College Students Had Written The Bible
Quote:
Originally posted by sheep
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.
So true, so true...

LOWEDAWG55
__________________
"Jesús es mi Superhero, una vez él murió para mí. Soy su sidekick de trusty, Golpearemos al enemigo."

<img src=C:\Documents and Settings\Jason\My Documents\My Pictures\angel_sky.jpg>
"Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us: the God of Jacob is our refuge." Psalms 46:10-11
Lowe_Dawg55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2002, 03:14 PM   #6
God bless and keep rockin
 
SendMe's Avatar
 

Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Lubbock, TX
Posts: 414
Send a message via AIM to SendMe
you know, since I am college, its very sad....becuase all that is true
__________________
~"Seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

whenever satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future and then kick him in the head!!!

Quote:
Opinions are just opinions. Everyone has one, but that doesn't mean they are true!!!
I like Hedonism...it is very pleasurable!

in Christ,
curtis david thomas <---click here
SendMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

« Here we go again :) | College Psalm »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:34 PM.