[Kentl]

Hey this will be long.
I have tried to do a lot of things draw, write, play guitar, swim skate .
Anyways I suck at all them (I am saying that because it is true)
You have seen my spelling and such, I have had lessons to swim for most of my life, but I still can barley swim even then I need to be abele to see.
And guitar well you all know about that. any ways lately I get tired of being a loser. (not being abele to do a lot of thins that are easy this is kind of sad but i am really am scared
I am not even good at videos games the only thing I am good at seems to be complaining (you all have seen it to) and I hate it I mean I have a lot of thing wrong in my life for starters I can count all of my friends on one hand And I can count how many I trust with one finger
So I mean all in all my life sucks and when I talk to my parents they just say “you are a late bloomer you will change soon” been three years not much change




Anyways I have a speech problem very hard to understand
I am scared that I will stay like this forever I am way to shy in kindergarten they held me back because of it I did not have the social skills needed (after two years they gave up)
Yes the schools Is very bad well I went to school and they gave me A’s with out even looking at my work (they did not want to try to read it)
So now that I have computers to do my work I am afraid what level I will be at
I am scared of the future of what I am and of what I have stuck to which is nothing and I don’t know what to do



Also I am scared of my future my life and all that I only have four more years of school and in spelling I am in fourth grade ela I got stuff in pre-k!!!!!!!!!!
I am terrified of the future
I cant go back to my old school because of fights (bi polar did not help)
Anyway I am stuck and it seems like I cant do anything
My family cant adored privet school (heck this house is pretty much free)
Anyways I do work three jobs
Billowing alley
Watch a dog and farm but I want to do more I don’t want to be what my family is I don’t want when I have kids (or if) to work before they are 12
But thanks to others it will be hard and I only have four years to fix 8 years of mistakes
And get back on track (with out a trained teacher)
I just cant do this you know?
Life has lost everything to me
Friends are gone family is barley there and I am still falling
I don’t know what to do this is just to much how can I learn all that
When I am a guy who quits and complains also has a hard time telling words apart and math (I suck at it) I don’t think I can change who I am in time
I just don’t understand why god is letting this happing to me
And why am I the one that has to give up my life?
I did not choice this I do not want this but it is and I have to fix it but how?


This is long and I don’t think anyone will read it with all my mistakes but if you can find it in you r heart to then thank you
You did not give up on me like all the others

[taylordyoung]

We all have our "Thing". You will find it. I promise. Some people just find theirs sooner than others. And even if you suck at something, do it anyways. For example, I SUCK at skateboarding. But I like doing it. So I try my best at it and sometimes I get lucky enough to not fall off haha.

And about school, I think you can do it.
God NEVER puts a challenge in front of someone that they cant overcome.
And the computer tests/work, that could actually be a good thing. It will actually go through your work to be sure you did it right. Then at least you can learn where you made your mistakes and you can fix it later on.

I suck at math too. No joke. Math isnt easy.
But one teacher told me this, "Math isnt like english. The rules stay the same. If you can do one thing here, you can do the same thing somewhere else in math. The rules never change. They are set in stone. Math is just another language. The hard part is learning to speak it."

I hope I helped some.
It will get better. For every dark night there is an even brighter day!

[roscoestring]

I am 47 years old now. I can remember feeling some of the same emotions that you mentioned when I was younger. I was a fat kid. No one likes fat people. I would have other make fun of me because of it. I was also very very shy. Extremely shy. Someone could speak to me and I would start crying. I was just that scared to interact with ptople. Dating in my teens was a nightmare. I was unable (in my eyes) to please my parents, teachers, friends, everyone.

Eventually I started to find things that I was good at. I learned to draw. Once I learned that I could do this I did it all the time. I became better and better at it. Good enough that I was named art editor of our little school newspaper.

Now to make a point: If you feel sorry for yourself, then everyone will feel sorry for you and just not care. Take the things that you do know how to do and try to improve on that. I have seen many posts here on forum by you. You are a good poster. Work on that. Make your post mean something. This post may make someone else open their eyes and see something in themselves as it has with me.

Set goals for yourself. I decided back in 1988 that I wanted to play guitar. I learned three chords and played Jesus Loves Me for months on end. But my goal was reached. Now I play mandolin, banjo, dobro, bass, harmonica, drums, and radio (although I'm not very good at radio). It took me about 12 or 13 years to learn to play guitar well enough to be comfortable with what I was playing. Nothing is going to come in a day, or week, or even a year. Just never give up.

Always include God in everything that you do. He is the best teacher. Trust Him. He will make things happen for you. Your parents will be so proud of you. We all will.

[MtlMom]

Shawn, you are right - your CGR friends here have been with you through a lot of your frustrations. The thing that impresses me the most is not what you can't do, but what you can do. You have not had an easy life. You have overcome some amazing odds already. You have not allowed your spelling and grammar to keep you from talking, you just keep pushing through - and that's good, because you have a lot of important things to say. When you don't understand something you don't just give up - you keep asking until someone explains in a way that you do understand. You are a very persistent person!

Some people seem to have the world handed to them, other people have to work harder. God uses those hard times to sculpt us into who He wants us to be. God has a plan for you. Keep God at the center of your life, and never, never give up!

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Kentl,

I think you need to quit focusing on what in your life sucks and what you don't have. To do so focuses on what you can't do and will leave you down. Take serious stock of what you are good at, what strengths you have.

Most things in life are a two edged sword. The fact that you are isolated, means you have a lot of room. The fact that you are bored, means you have a lot of time to utilize. The fact that you have had to work hard, means you can work hard. Take that kind of work ethic outside of the farm and you can go far.

I started working younger than 12 and I am grateful for it now.

[SccHarpGirl]

Kentl, you've gotten some great feedback here -

One thing I'd like to add: Go back and look at your first posts when you came to CGR. And then read this and some of your more recent posts. Your spelling/grammar etc have improved by leaps and bounds just in the short time you've been on here. You are capable of learning, have gone through some difficult experiences, and are persistent - those are in many ways far more important than book learning.

I'll echo some of the other advice given here:
Set goals for yourself - humans as a rule are very goal oriented, and meeting a goal (even a small one) can make you feel great about yourself.
Focus on the positive - what you can do well, and what you like about yourself.
Try not to worry too much about the future - I used to stress out a lot about the future for various reasons, and guess what? It keeps working out. Maybe not exactly how I expected it to, but usually the worrying did exactlty nothing to help. Rely on God, and focus on what you can *do* as opposed to worrying.

I'll pray for you though.