[6strings21frets]

Kentl, it isn't a sin. I find that it is a sin if it is lust for the other person. Read your final sentence. "Sometimes we can't tell them". I think it's okay to keep it from them if you have a good reason to (e.g. nervousness, peer pressure, etc.). I think that keeping it as a secret from them just for the sake of secrecy is just mean.

[MtlMom]

I think most of the time the crush is really on the imaginary perfect person that we build in our heads and assign to an unsuspecting attractive human being who happens to be in the [right/wrong] place at the [right/wrong] time when we have an emotional need or desire. The particular need/desire that we are trying to fill is probably the key to whether it is sinful or not.

^^ Somebody tell me if that makes any sense. ^^ It's 6:20 a.m. and I'm drinking my first cup of coffee.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by MtlMom

I think most of the time the crush is really on the imaginary perfect person that we build in our heads and assign to an unsuspecting attractive human being who happens to be in the [right/wrong] place at the [right/wrong] time when we have an emotional need or desire. The particular need/desire that we are trying to fill is probably the key to whether it is sinful or not.

^^ Somebody tell me if that makes any sense. ^^ It's 6:20 a.m. and I'm drinking my first cup of coffee.

Agreed wholeheartedly actually.

We all have needs that we seek to fulfill with others. I think the biggest need that we as guys have is not sexual. I think it often is expressed as sexual in our culture, but I think the greatest need guys have emotionally is for companionship and truly someone to be our helpmeet. Shoot, if we didn't really feel that way, I think dog ownership would go way down as well, because what we get from a dog is a small measure of companionship.

However, what I think we actually need is that companion, and I dare wager a lot of crushes really go no further than wanting said attractive person to like you, to be friends with you, and spend time with you.

However, society as a whole does seem to promote the idea that to need companionship is weak, and that the only way we can be attracted to the opposite gender is sexually.

[LesPaulPlayer]

Originally Posted by Kentl

to the OP
From what I read it seems you think if they don’t tell the girl about your feelings it is a sin I mean I really don’t see how just because you don’t tell her it is lustful


And trust me sometimes we cant tell them because we get cold feet

No. The sin is in the lust. not the not telling the person

Originally Posted by 6strings21frets

Kentl, it isn't a sin. I find that it is a sin if it is lust for the other person. Read your final sentence. "Sometimes we can't tell them". I think it's okay to keep it from them if you have a good reason to (e.g. nervousness, peer pressure, etc.). I think that keeping it as a secret from them just for the sake of secrecy is just mean.

I think Peer pressure is a horrible reason for keeping it from them. I will say you can have a good reason but peer pressure is not a good reason.

Originally Posted by MtlMom

I think most of the time the crush is really on the imaginary perfect person that we build in our heads and assign to an unsuspecting attractive human being who happens to be in the [right/wrong] place at the [right/wrong] time when we have an emotional need or desire. The particular need/desire that we are trying to fill is probably the key to whether it is sinful or not.

^^ Somebody tell me if that makes any sense. ^^ It's 6:20 a.m. and I'm drinking my first cup of coffee.

I wholeheartedly agree with you. But I find that most of the time those people who have a crush on these unsuspecting people base their "love" (or whatever you want to call it), almost compeltley off of physical apperance. Which in turn, leads to lust very easily.

Originally Posted by Billgamesh

Agreed wholeheartedly actually.

We all have needs that we seek to fulfill with others. I think the biggest need that we as guys have is not sexual. I think it often is expressed as sexual in our culture, but I think the greatest need guys have emotionally is for companionship and truly someone to be our helpmeet. Shoot, if we didn't really feel that way, I think dog ownership would go way down as well, because what we get from a dog is a small measure of companionship.

However, what I think we actually need is that companion, and I dare wager a lot of crushes really go no further than wanting said attractive person to like you, to be friends with you, and spend time with you.

However, society as a whole does seem to promote the idea that to need companionship is weak, and that the only way we can be attracted to the opposite gender is sexually.

I agree

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by LesPaulPlayer

How can most not be is my question? Lets set the scenario...


A guy is sitting in class. he's very bored. he eyes a pretty girl sitting across from him. Over the next couple of weeks he will become infatuated with her, almost to the point of obssession. Still never telling her that he likes her though because he never talks to her or doesn't have the time.



I think this is lust and wrong. the kid in this scenario is basing all of what he thinks about this girl on how she looks, I think this happens more often than not for many people. It may not happen that way or even close but the process is still the same

this is why i said it souided like that

It dose nor seem to be lust to me
Any guy first girl you fall for will knock you off your feet dose that make it wrong it is Natural to feel obsessed with a girl (you think about her all the time and almost nothing eles )
that is why you marry her because you cant stop thinking about her and you can tlive without her

[fenderguy962]

I agree with MtlMom and Billgamesh.

[mulletman]

Originally Posted by LesPaulPlayer

BASING YOUR CRUSH ON SOMEONES APPERANCE IS WRONG.

I disagree. What we're lacking here is a decent definition of the term 'crush.' In my mind, you're referring to what basically can be reduced to attraction. If you're going to go off on the 'obsession' tangent... then that may or may not be a different story.

Originally Posted by LesPaulPlayer

I wholeheartedly agree with you. But I find that most of the time those people who have a crush on these unsuspecting people base their "love" (or whatever you want to call it), almost compeltley off of physical apperance. Which in turn, leads to lust very easily

... Which absolutely doesn't make it wrong. Lust is wrong. Something that might possibly lead to lust if the person is too dumb or lazy to pay attention to it is not wrong. Most anything can 'lead to' lust. Billboards. Magazines. Books. Movies. Posters. Bikini car-washes. However, having the potential to develop into lust is not yet actually lust, and therefore I don't really see where it would be wrong. It could present the person with a decision to make, but that's about all.

Originally Posted by Kentl

that is why you marry her because you cant stop thinking about her and you can tlive without her

Uh, I doubt it.

[Rainer.]

I almost think it is much easier to lust after someone you are connected with on more levels than just the physical. Temptation to indulge sexual desires is much greater when you have a stronger emotional relationship with the other person compared to pure physical attraction.

IMO. Physical attraction isn't the problem, lust is. If someone has a true problem with lustful thoughts, they are going to have lustful thoughts whether or not there is a "crush" involved. Just having a crush on a girl you find physically attractive isn't wrong in and of itself. I'd encourage that person to get to know that girl (heck, I try to get to know girls I find physically attractive), but the line of lust is very distinct.

[fenderguy962]

Originally Posted by Rainer.

I almost think it is much easier to lust after someone you are connected with on more levels than just the physical. .

I would think not. At least with me, the better I know a person, the more I respect them as a person, and the less likely I am to think of them that way.

[Rainer.]

Originally Posted by fenderguy962

I would think not. At least with me, the better I know a person, the more I respect them as a person, and the less likely I am to think of them that way.

Mutual sexual desire is unbelievably powerful.

[WorshipJesus]

Originally Posted by fenderguy962

I would think not. At least with me, the better I know a person, the more I respect them as a person, and the less likely I am to think of them that way.

But when you find yourself in a position where things can get out of hand, it takes a lot to stop. Don't think that just because you may not think about the other person sexually that it doesn't mean you aren't sexually attracted to that person.

[fenderguy962]

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

But when you find yourself in a position where things can get out of hand, it takes a lot to stop. Don't think that just because you may not think about the other person sexually that it doesn't mean you aren't sexually attracted to that person.

True, but I would think it kind of matters on what you are having sex for. I would think that since sex was created to be between a married couple as a show of love, the closer you are to be a married couple (the deeper your relationship is) the desire to show love through sex could become stronger.

What I meant was I would be less likely to look at that person as simply a way to release sexual tension.


But then maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I don't really have any experience in this field, and am pretty much geussing. I would like to hear what some others think about this. So, please tell me if I am wrong.

[musaclover]

I'm overly confused now! But... i'm still reading it though because I know what some people are saying on their point of views!

[6strings21frets]

Originally Posted by The Phantom Mullet

Uh, I doubt it.

Yeah, me too. Why would you marry someone just because you can't stop thinking about him/her? That would be kinda pointless.

[WorshipJesus]

Originally Posted by fenderguy962

True, but I would think it kind of matters on what you are having sex for. I would think that since sex was created to be between a married couple as a show of love, the closer you are to be a married couple (the deeper your relationship is) the desire to show love through sex could become stronger.

What I meant was I would be less likely to look at that person as simply a way to release sexual tension.


But then maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I don't really have any experience in this field, and am pretty much geussing. I would like to hear what some others think about this. So, please tell me if I am wrong.

You aren't completely wrong. Your desire and intentions are Christ-like. Pray earnestly for these desired to continue and be fruitful in your life. I'm telling you right now that it's gonna be hard, but persevere, relying on God to help you strive through temptation without sin!