Couple of questions about "crushs"

**Rainer.** · 06-16-2009, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LesPaulPlayer

yes it is (I guess only to an extent, I see where you are coming from). BUT, your mind WILL wander if you don't control it.

If I'm reading you right, you're going as far as saying that developing a light obsession (crush) on a girl for a period of time (a couple weeks per your example) is wrong and sinful, when I actually think it's rather natural, even though it might not be wise to act on the crush.

As a person who admittedly struggles with lust, I agree that the mind has good capacity of wandering, but I do know in my mind, there's a clear line between being sexually lusting after someone and being physically attracted to them.

I'm just worried that your view might cause people to think that developing a crush is sinfully lusting after another, when it really isn't.

LesPaulPlayer · 06-16-2009, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giga Hertz

Isn't that just like anything, though? If you are annoyed at someone, it can lead to hate. If you start lying to someone, that could lead to theft.

I agree. I'm just saying that I think this can be much easier to fall into.

musaclover · 06-16-2009, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

If I'm reading you right, you're going as far as saying that developing a light obsession (crush) on a girl for a period of time (a couple weeks per your example) is wrong and sinful, when I actually think it's rather natural, even though it might not be wise to act on the crush.

As a person who admittedly struggles with lust, I agree that the mind has good capacity of wandering, but I do know in my mind, there's a clear line between being sexually lusting after someone and being physically attracted to them.

I'm just worried that your view might cause people to think that developing a crush is sinfully lusting after another, when it really isn't.

That's deep!

LesPaulPlayer · 06-16-2009, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

If I'm reading you right, you're going as far as saying that developing a light obsession (crush) on a girl for a period of time (a couple weeks per your example) is wrong and sinful, when I actually think it's rather natural, even though it might not be wise to act on the crush.

As a person who admittedly struggles with lust, I agree that the mind has good capacity of wandering, but I do know in my mind, there's a clear line between being sexually lusting after someone and being physically attracted to them.

I'm just worried that your view might cause people to think that developing a crush is sinfully lusting after another, when it really isn't.

I"ll clarify here. I don't think having a crush is wrong at all. it is natural. BUT basing all of your thoughts and time off phsyical attraction is wrong..

as for your last line, just to clarify. I DO NOT THINK HAVING A CRUSH IS WRONG. LUSTING IS WRONG AND BASING YOUR CRUSH ON SOMEONES APPERANCE IS WRONG.

**Rainer.** · 06-16-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LesPaulPlayer

I"ll clarify here. I don't think having a crush is wrong at all. it is natural. BUT basing all of your thoughts and time off phsyical attraction is wrong..

as for your last line, just to clarify. I DO NOT THINK HAVING A CRUSH IS WRONG. LUSTING IS WRONG AND BASING YOUR CRUSH ON SOMEONES APPERANCE IS WRONG.

Ah, I think I just didn't find anything particularly lustful about your example.

LesPaulPlayer · 06-16-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OiBoyz

Let's break it down:

Initial attraction. So far, no problem. Attraction to the opposite sex is one of God's gifts, or so it seems to me.

Obsession level. Beginning to be a problem. I'm not sure I'd call it sin yet, but it's getting close to the line. Self control is one of the fruits of the spirit, so while it may not be outright sin yet, it's unfruitful at the very least.

I think the line is crossed here. Why? Because he's not really interested in her. She's just a thing that occupies his thoughts. Call it objectifying if it helps.

I agree. And in your scenario, he hasn't even gotten to the issue of "adultery in his heart" yet.

"How a man Thinketh so is he"

LesPaulPlayer · 06-16-2009, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

Ah, I think I just didn't find anything particularly lustful about your example.

read OiBoyz post

musaclover · 06-16-2009, 02:34 AM

And yet there are more and more But's!

LesPaulPlayer · 06-16-2009, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musaclover

And yet there are more and more But's!

About what?

Giga Hertz · 06-16-2009, 02:35 AM

Quote:

I DO NOT THINK HAVING A CRUSH IS WRONG. LUSTING IS WRONG AND BASING YOUR CRUSH ON SOMEONES APPERANCE IS WRONG.

To be fair, the first thing most people notice about the opposite sex isn't the brains.

Honestly, there really isn't anything wrong with basing feelings off appearance. Granted, it is if you don't want to find out more about their personality or likes. But I would think 99% of people on this forum alone wouldn't leave a crush at just appearance if they really want to be with them.

musaclover · 06-16-2009, 02:41 AM

from what I keep reading there is a lot of... "that's true BUT" "Yes BUT" That's what I mean.

LesPaulPlayer · 06-16-2009, 02:42 AM

I'll respond to that tomorrow it's like 3am and I have a test tomorrow

night guys.

this was interesting I'll pick it up tomorrow

EDIT^ gotcha.

I agree with alot of what people are saying here it's just i'm saying something a bit differently

**Rainer.** · 06-16-2009, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LesPaulPlayer

read OiBoyz post

I did. I still think the greatest wrong the guy in your example is committing is being immature. Obsession based on 100% physical attraction is infantile, but IMO, sin it is not.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes people can't help but develop crushes based on appearance. I don't think this is wrong. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't developed crushes on girls just because they were pretty. Dwelling on it, again, would be infantile and show a lot of lack of emotional maturity; but not sin. There's a pretty clear line between that and lust. You can't equate physical attraction to lust.

musaclover · 06-16-2009, 02:47 AM

Yeah I think I am gonna go also! Bye! This was fun! Even though I got confused a couple of times.

Kentl · 06-16-2009, 03:17 AM

to the OP
From what I read it seems you think if they don’t tell the girl about your feelings it is a sin I mean I really don’t see how just because you don’t tell her it is lustful

And trust me sometimes we cant tell them because we get cold feet