[tropicana]

I don't think you're falling out of love with her, because it certainly doesn't sound like you ever loved her. You're probably just getting over the initial attraction/infatuation stage of the relationship. And it sounds like she's turned herself into the local branch of the National Musicians' TP and Toothpaste Fund for a guy who resents that she's not his exactly perfect woman.

As others have already pointed out, you sound so childishly selfish that you don't belong in a relationship at all. You don't seem to find her attractive enough, but you keep having sex with her. You're pushing your interests on her, without trying to reciprocally get involved in hers. Does that sound fair to her at all? Shouldn't she be with someone who appreciates her for who she is, rather than who Mr. Boyfriend wants her to be?

If you have a shred of human decency and respect for this girl in you at all, break up with her. I don't even think you should tell her you still want to be friends.

[Napoleon17]

I agree with everything everyone has posted, except the part about breaking up with her immediately. She sounds like she really cares about you.

I think it might be wise to be honest with her about how you are being a selfish and immature person, that you think it would be beneficial for you to "take a break" from the relationship, to focus on getting a job (seriously, deliver pizzas or wait tables, it's not that complicated), becoming more mature and self-reliant, and to basically grow up spiritually and emotionally. Also, make a commitment to not have sex again until you're married, and communicate this commitment to her.

Then 4-6 months from now maybe you'll be a more mature, wise, and independent person who can handle being in a relationship without the need to play video games or the guitar or have sex to feel good about it. If it doesn't work out then, then I can see that it would be appropriate to move on from the relationship, but I think you have to at least make an effort to grow up and understand love instead of just giving up.

Just my two cents.

[tropicana]

Originally Posted by McLuvinjesus

I agree with everything everyone has posted, except the part about breaking up with her immediately. She sounds like she really cares about you.

I really disagree with you here. People who allow others to take advantage of them and demean them don't belong in relationships. Just as the OP should take a step back and look at how childish he's being, she needs to stop and think about why she encourages his dependency and immature behavior.
(He said she's had "bad luck with men" and that he "doesn't know why", but the only truly common factor in one's dysfunctional relationships is oneself. She goes for men who don't treat her well. Lots of women do this, but that doesn't mean it's healthy.)

And honestly, if having sex is the only activity a couple wants to do together, then they're not in a "real" romantic relationship. There are other terms for those kinds of couples, and that kind of relationship doesn't transition well to a long-term relationship.

[redbaron]

I actually heard something interesting on family life today recently and the statement was something like:

Many marriages that are failing trace their roots straight back to premarital sex- It builds a bond of perceived closeness far too early in a relationship that would maybe have never made it to the altar in the first place.

Something to ponder.

I agree with Tropicana that the relationship should probably end. Sounds like the girl picks bad relationships habitually, but that's no excuse for the guy to use her for his own ends with no care for her well being or feelings.