[WorshipJesus]

It seems as if I've opened up another can of worms...

The point I have been trying to make comes from the premise that dating is for the intention of marrying someone. Dating around ("recreational dating") is basically practice for divorce... and just look at any high school to see what I'm talking about. I'm mainly talking about teenage kids (and some college kids) who don't even want to start taking care of themselves and learn how they can become responsibly independent from their parents.

Originally Posted by thesteve

Of course, even if that was not the actual intention of his statement (and I doubt it was seeing as I do not believe WorshipJesus was self-sufficient when he began dating his now wife, though I could be mistaken), I think it brings up an interesting topic.

Yeah, it is an interesting topic. My posts weren't meant to be hypocritical at all. I just look around now and see how a lot of kids are in relationships that shouldn't be in relatioships. Am I saying that anybody who is in a relationship from 7th-12th grade isn't gonna make it? No, I know of a couple who have done that and they are happily married, but for the most part kids date to date; that, I believe, is wrong because you are still giving away little bits and peices of yourself to another person that should go to your wife (or husband).

Another reason why I said things the way I did is because of how many teenagers post on these forums about how "can't stop thinking about so-and-so" and how if they should ask her out. Seriously, there should be a "Should I Ask Her Out?" sticky thread. I know that's mean, but what is the reason for a 16 year old kid to ask a girl out on a date?

I may be a little old-fashioned, but kids need to be patient. If a boy "likes" a girl, he should get to know her as a friend. THEN if there is still interest in her, he should talk to her dad (or mom if there is no dad in the picture) about how he is interested in his daughter and would like to date her. AND he should be working his butt off trying to make a foundation to provide for her because he has the intentions of marrying her one day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that little boys need to grow up to be strong men who can take care of a family. Anyone disagree?

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

It seems as if I've opened up another can of worms...

The point I have been trying to make comes from the premise that dating is for the intention of marrying someone. Dating around ("recreational dating") is basically practice for divorce... and just look at any high school to see what I'm talking about. I'm mainly talking about teenage kids (and some college kids) who don't even want to start taking care of themselves and learn how they can become responsibly independent from their parents.

Dating around recreationally is not practice for divorce. Thats a silly statement by people who equate dating and marriage. 4 years into marriage, Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore. Its just nothing similar.

Yeah, it is an interesting topic. My posts weren't meant to be hypocritical at all. I just look around now and see how a lot of kids are in relationships that shouldn't be in relatioships. Am I saying that anybody who is in a relationship from 7th-12th grade isn't gonna make it? No, I know of a couple who have done that and they are happily married, but for the most part kids date to date; that, I believe, is wrong because you are still giving away little bits and peices of yourself to another person that should go to your wife (or husband).

ACK the ghost of Josh Harris! Really, biblically speaking, without sex, you are not doing this, and if a couple is in a chaste relationship. I casually dated a couple girls, and my wife knows all about it, and I feel no shame.

The pieces argument can be used of any relationship. Dating, friends, enemies, coworkers, and of either gender. You interact with humans, and nowhere is simple interaction like casual dating wrong. Now if you do something wrong, thats the problem that you did something wrong. Not the dating part.

Another reason why I said things the way I did is because of how many teenagers post on these forums about how "can't stop thinking about so-and-so" and how if they should ask her out. Seriously, there should be a "Should I Ask Her Out?" sticky thread. I know that's mean, but what is the reason for a 16 year old kid to ask a girl out on a date?

By 17 I was living on my own.

I may be a little old-fashioned, but kids need to be patient. If a boy "likes" a girl, he should get to know her as a friend. THEN if there is still interest in her, he should talk to her dad (or mom if there is no dad in the picture) about how he is interested in his daughter and would like to date her. AND he should be working his butt off trying to make a foundation to provide for her because he has the intentions of marrying her one day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that little boys need to grow up to be strong men who can take care of a family. Anyone disagree?

Yeah. I was 17, living on my own and I think you are very much new fashioned, but think you are old. And with my wife, her dad never really was anybody I respected, even though at that point he was in the picture.

I think before the dating gets serious there should be some looking ahead to the future, but chances are, the first girl you date, you may realize by the second date that this is not a girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. There may be some huge red flag that you missed, and my casual dating looked a lot like my hanging out.

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

It seems as if I've opened up another can of worms...

The point I have been trying to make comes from the premise that dating is for the intention of marrying someone. Dating around ("recreational dating") is basically practice for divorce... and just look at any high school to see what I'm talking about. I'm mainly talking about teenage kids (and some college kids) who don't even want to start taking care of themselves and learn how they can become responsibly independent from their parents..

Dude you have no idea
The fact that they are dating with out parents help shows they are learning to live with out their mom and dad

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

Yeah, it is an interesting topic. My posts weren't meant to be hypocritical at all. I just look around now and see how a lot of kids are in relationships that shouldn't be in relatioships. Am I saying that anybody who is in a relationship from 7th-12th grade isn't gonna make it? No, I know of a couple who have done that and they are happily married, but for the most part kids date to date; that, I believe, is wrong because you are still giving away little bits and peices of yourself to another person that should go to your wife (or husband).

And who says you get to decide when to date a LOT of people date in high school some think you cant date in till you are 24

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

Another reason why I said things the way I did is because of how many teenagers post on these forums about how "can't stop thinking about so-and-so" and how if they should ask her out. Seriously, there should be a "Should I Ask Her Out?" sticky thread. I know that's mean, but what is the reason for a 16 year old kid to ask a girl out on a date?

So you can never kiss in till you are sure she\he will marry you?
I don’t know any one that has done that
Maybe so they can learn how to date so they can ask the right one (i am not saying ask evrey girl you know onyl ones you have known for some time)
I for one could not ask out the first three girls I tried (and I know for a fact most guys are that way)

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

I may be a little old-fashioned, but kids need to be patient. If a boy "likes" a girl, he should get to know her as a friend. THEN if there is still interest in her, he should talk to her dad (or mom if there is no dad in the picture) about how he is interested in his daughter and would like to date her. AND he should be working his butt off trying to make a foundation to provide for her because he has the intentions of marrying her one day.

But you say before they date they should not need mom or dad so why ask the parents?

On a side note now days girls help take care of the family and provide
so both need to be readey

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

I guess what I'm trying to say is that little boys need to grow up to be strong men who can take care of a family. Anyone disagree?

Sorry but what do you mean by strong?

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by Kentl

So you can never kiss in till you are sure she\he will marry you?
I don’t know any one that has done that

Hi. I did. First kiss was after the I do. (her request, which I honored)

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by Billgamesh

Hi. I did. First kiss was after the I do. (her request, which I honored)

i ment any girl ever if you did you are the only one i know

[acrossthesirion]

Originally Posted by Kentl

i ment any girl ever if you did you are the only one i know

<<<
I've only kissed my fiance, first of which was about a week before I purposed (at the time I was pretty sure we would get married, just finding a good time to ask).

I'm sure there are other people too.

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by acrossthesirion

<<<
I've only kissed my fiance, first of which was about a week before I purposed (at the time I was pretty sure we would get married, just finding a good time to ask).

I'm sure there are other people too.

Do you believe you should not kiss in till you are dead sure you will Mary her\
Him?
And the point is that what he says is extreme

[WorshipJesus]

Originally Posted by Billgamesh

Dating around recreationally is not practice for divorce. Thats a silly statement by people who equate dating and marriage. 4 years into marriage, Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore. Its just nothing similar.

When I say "practice for divorce" I mean that someone gets into a relationship and after awhile they just don't want to be with that person anymore so they get out of the relationship.. and then it happens over and over again. If that mentality sticks with someone that they can get out of a relationship when it gets too hard or there's no more "love", then they may drag that into their marriage(s).

ACK the ghost of Josh Harris! Really, biblically speaking, without sex, you are not doing this, and if a couple is in a chaste relationship. I casually dated a couple girls, and my wife knows all about it, and I feel no shame.

lol, I think this is some of his good stuff.

anyways, I agree. but i would say that even if there's not sexual intercourse but other sexual activities, then there's still the giving away of peices. Isn't the average age of a girl losing her virginity in the US around 12/13?

The pieces argument can be used of any relationship. Dating, friends, enemies, coworkers, and of either gender. You interact with humans, and nowhere is simple interaction like casual dating wrong. Now if you do something wrong, thats the problem that you did something wrong. Not the dating part.

My wife and I dated with parental supervision for about 3 years until she went to college. I see nothing wrong with kids dating this way. Just having the thought of getting caught my my parents or her's was enough to keep us pure until marriage. I think that it's a good idea that kids date responsibly (as someone here put it). Ya, it's strict, but it's worth that extra preventitive measure.

Five years ago I didn't want our parents watching over us, but I can see the fruit of their labor in our relationship now. What they did was a good thing.

By 17 I was living on my own.

Then I would say that you were probably more mature than most kids.

I think before the dating gets serious there should be some looking ahead to the future, but chances are, the first girl you date, you may realize by the second date that this is not a girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. There may be some huge red flag that you missed, and my casual dating looked a lot like my hanging out.

Then why not get to know her/him while with friends. It very much limits temptation being in a group setting. Just a thought.

Originally Posted by Kentl

Dude you have no idea
The fact that they are dating with out parents help shows they are learning to live with out their mom and dad

Or it can just bring them to the place where they can dive head-first into temptation. In what ways does it teach them to live without their parents?

And who says you get to decide when to date a LOT of people date in high school some think you cant date in till you are 24

I'm not saying who gets to date and who doesn't. That's up the the people dating or not dating. I am speaking from the experience that I have gained over the past few years. Now that I am married, I see things a whole lot differently now.

Let use Bill as an example.. he was 17 and living on his own. He was probably more mature than most kids in high school. Not only more mature, he was able to sustain himself. But now what about the kid who lazily asks his parents for some cash so he can take his date to the movies (just one example)? I don't think he's exactly got it in his head yet that he should be making money on his own.

So you can never kiss in till you are sure she\he will marry you?
I don’t know any one that has done that

Bill has..

My wife and I were going to do that, but we didn't wait to kiss. I know I'm not the best example right now, but like i said, I'm speaking from my new perspective after getting married.

Maybe so they can learn how to date so they can ask the right one (i am not saying ask evrey girl you know onyl ones you have known for some time)
I for one could not ask out the first three girls I tried (and I know for a fact most guys are that way)

hey! there's an idea! get to know girls as friends and then see if you have any interest in them.

But you say before they date they should not need mom or dad so why ask the parents?

Like I said before, dating should be with the intentions of marrying someone. So with that being said.. being friends is no big deal, but when stepping into the realm of relationships the guy should confront the parents and ask if it's ok to date their daughter. Another reason in because at the wedding the dad gives his daughter away to her husband to be. His daughter is under his authority. A guy has no right to try to take a man's daughter without permission first. (Now I know that there are situations where the dad isn't in the picture or utterly and completely not respectable. In these cases, he can ask her mom. I am just stating things as I see how they should be.)

On a side note now days girls help take care of the family and provide
so both need to be readey

Also a good thought. Yes, girls should also be ready to provide in some way. Especially in our economy.

Sorry but what do you mean by strong?

Godly, responsible, respectable, honest, trustworthy, financially stable men.

[thesteve]

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

anyways, I agree. but i would say that even if there's not sexual intercourse but other sexual activities, then there's still the giving away of peices. Isn't the average age of a girl losing her virginity in the US around 12/13?

...I'm pretty sure it isn't.

Then why not get to know her/him while with friends. It very much limits temptation being in a group setting. Just a thought.

It also very much limits genuine personal interaction. Just a thought.

[WorshipJesus]

Originally Posted by thesteve

...I'm pretty sure it isn't.

I'll see if I can find the actual statistics when I'm not at work.. I don't exactly want IS to think I'm looking up smut on Google, ya know?

It also very much limits genuine personal interaction. Just a thought.

Possibly, but now that I think of it, the two people don't have to be constantly in the group. Take youth group for example (not that kids should go to youth group to find a bf/gf).. There's kids and leaders around constantly so the two kids could sit off to the side and talk by themselves and still be somewhat alone but some sort of witnesses to see what they are doing. I think that's a fair compromise, ya?

[bread man]

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

Possibly, but now that I think of it, the two people don't have to be constantly in the group. Take youth group for example (not that kids should go to youth group to find a bf/gf).. There's kids and leaders around constantly so the two kids could sit off to the side and talk by themselves and still be somewhat alone but some sort of witnesses to see what they are doing. I think that's a fair compromise, ya?

It's a nice idea in theory but in a social situation like that, it's pretty much impossible to interact with someone one-on-one. Besides, people act differently in groups than they do one-on-one and it's nearly impossible to have a long conversation with any sort of depth at youth group.

[Thrash]

Originally Posted by bread man

It's a nice idea in theory but in a social situation like that, it's pretty much impossible to interact with someone one-on-one. Besides, people act differently in groups than they do one-on-one and it's nearly impossible to have a long conversation with any sort of depth at youth group.

then use a phone... Just saying. If its the personal convo you desire.

[rock_show_host]

Originally Posted by bread man

It's a nice idea in theory but in a social situation like that, it's pretty much impossible to interact with someone one-on-one. Besides, people act differently in groups than they do one-on-one and it's nearly impossible to have a long conversation with any sort of depth at youth group.

+10000

Originally Posted by Thrash

then use a phone... Just saying. If its the personal convo you desire.

A phone may be more personal, but it's not the same as in-person alone time. Really, there's no substitute for that.

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- I can't imagine ever even considering marriage to someone without any one-on-one time during the dating stage. Alone time is crucial.

[bread man]

Originally Posted by rock_show_host

A phone may be more personal, but it's not the same as in-person alone time. Really, there's no substitute for that.

Exactly. Also, I hate talking on the phone. Usually I just want to get phone conversations over with as quickly as possible. I don't know what it is, I just hate it.

[thesteve]

Originally Posted by WorshipJesus

I'll see if I can find the actual statistics when I'm not at work.. I don't exactly want IS to think I'm looking up smut on Google, ya know?

I'm pretty sure that once you find those statistics you'll also find that the average age is in the 16-17 area.