Is physical attraction necessary in a relationship?

Butterfly16 · 05-22-2009, 12:15 PM

I agree w/ Kentl to a point

I think it's our imperfections that make us who we are special apart from everyone else... We may not all be 'perfect' according to societies standard but if we were we would have nothing to make us stand out.

Some people may you see your imperfections as ugly but that probably just means that they are not the right person for you in your life. You might have red hair someone finds unattractive but someone else might find that amazing. The right person will find all of you attractive (the physical part, your personality, all the strange entertaining things you do

). And attraction should be there...

I think its basically about compatibility. I think two people who are not compatible and try to stay in a relationship will never be truly happy because they will be constantly trying to shape their partner into who they wish they really were...

**Skeeter** · 05-22-2009, 02:04 PM

People have different ideas about beauty. And physical attraction doesn't depend on stereotypical views of what is ugly and what is beautiful.

**tmlfan123** · 05-22-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

People have different ideas about beauty. And physical attraction doesn't depend on stereotypical views of what is ugly and what is beautiful.

So you think that every single person in the world is physically attractive to at least one other person?

(By the way, I agree with most of what's been said. I just wonder if it is completely necessary to be attracted to the way someone looks to be in love with them.)

Kentl · 05-22-2009, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmlfan123

So you think that every single person in the world is physically attractive to at least one other person?

(By the way, I agree with most of what's been said. I just wonder if it is completely necessary to be attracted to the way someone looks to be in love with them.)

i think it is way more then one but yes

rock_show_host · 05-22-2009, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

People have different ideas about beauty. And physical attraction doesn't depend on stereotypical views of what is ugly and what is beautiful.

+100000000

Thank God (literally) that this is true.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 05-22-2009, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeeter

Physical attraction is certainly necessary.

However, I know for a fact that my wife didn't find me especially attractive when we first met. A few years later, however, and we started dating and she certainly found me attractive (I admit that I found her attractive right from when I first met her).

For the record, I did not find you unattractive either. And I was physically attracted to you before we started dating. It's true that the physical attraction grew out of an emotional attraction. Also, I agree that it is necessary to marry someone. Maybe not to date them, but certainly for marriage. However, I don't think it can be "ranked" among other qualities one would like their mate to have. It's kind of a pass/☺☺☺☺ thing in my mind.

Quote:

Sometimes, the more you get to know someone, the more attracted to them you become.

And vice versa. I remember being physically attracted to a few guys in high school... Then I got to know them.

Playn4God · 05-22-2009, 06:06 PM

+1,000,000,000 to that last post too!

Physical attraction is going to be different to every person. For example, the girl I'm talking to now not all of my friends find that attractive. However, some, especially me, find her drop dead gorgeous. Most of this also is related to how I know her other characteristics that make her attractive, and this somehow just makes her more physically attractive as well. Make sense? Just as stated before, I know of several cases where couples who are getting engaged/married were not attracted to each other to begin with, but the attraction came later as they got to know each other.

Praise God that not everyone sees beauty the same way. Would you want EVERYONE staring at your wife and checking her out? This has to be very hard for those married to the type with supermodel-looks. It would seem great at first, but I know it would become VERY tiring.

Back to the original subject, if you just really can't find yourself being physically attracted to a certain person AT ALL, even when you know them well for who they are, I would rule them out. Aside from the fact that it would affect your physical relationship with your spouse, this might represent you not being attracted to her because of some other reasons as well.

Playn4God · 05-22-2009, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pre-Ex-Girlfriend

And vice versa. I remember being physically attracted to a few guys in high school... Then I got to know them.

Haha, yes.......for example, I recently dated a brunette bombshell who was a finalist for Miss Alabama. Of course as we dated, I got to know her better. As I found we were not as compatible as I thought, the physical attraction started to go away (not that it is fully gone, but definitely not where it was!). She will be great for someone, just not me.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 05-22-2009, 09:43 PM

Physical attraction, as related to appearance is not necessary in marriage. It just plain isn't. Otherwise, blind people could never have a healthy marriage.

I am bringing that up because attraction is being equated with appearance. We have roughly 6000 years of human history, and the period with the worst divorce rate is also the period with the highest assumed value of attraction and appearance. Coincidence? I think not.

I think our society has made it so, but I think if you truly love someone, the physical attraction that lasts, actually stems from love of them, not love of their body.

I always loved what my great-grandmother used to say around her hundredth birthday.

Beauty's only skin deep
Ugly's to the bone
Beauty it will fade away
But ugly holds her own.

We are all going to be ugly and wrinkly some day provided we live long enough, and marriage can be just as good then as when you are young.

I think physical attraction is something that comes from the relationship itself, rather than being a basis for it.

TravisR · 05-23-2009, 01:39 AM

^ I like that little quote.

When we talk about physical attractiion, are we talking specifically about a level of sexual attraction or something more general than that?

Here-am-I · 05-23-2009, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TravisR

^ I like that little quote.

When we talk about physical attractiion, are we talking specifically about a level of sexual attraction or something more general than that?

I thought we are talking about sexual attraction....

oh, and yes, I believe that is pretty darn necessary for marriage.

**slap_j** · 05-23-2009, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TravisR

When we talk about physical attractiion, are we talking specifically about a level of sexual attraction or something more general than that?

They're two different, but related concepts. You can certainly appreciate the beauty of the human form (or non-human even) without any sexual elements.

**beanbag** · 05-24-2009, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmlfan123

So you think that every single person in the world is physically attractive to at least one other person?

I don't think that's a proper conclusion to draw from what's been said so far. not everyone in the world is or will be married. there are plenty of confirmed bachelors/bachelorettes.

as for my thoughts: yes, physical attraction is necessary for marriage. like other people have said, it's not the most important thing, but it is pretty high up there. think about it: if you're not attracted to your spouse, you're not going to want to make babies with them. it's a rather crude and basic way to put it, but it's really as simple as that.

**tmlfan123** · 05-24-2009, 09:23 PM

Well I guess the reason I was throwing this out there is that last year I was in a relationship(although we never actually "dated") with a girl who I didn't find particularly attractive physically. There were many more attractive girls out there, but because of her personality and our mutual likes and dislikes, I enjoyed her company and developed a crush on her regardless of her physical appearance.

Anyways, great responses from everybody. Thanks guys.

JerryLove · 05-24-2009, 09:31 PM

I think it's wrong to try to say "most important / least important" on anything.

There is a minimum level of physical attraction where, unless you are planning an asexual relationship, you are doomed to failure.

There is a minimum level of lifestyle compatibility equally necessary.

And how do you trade? If "smart" is "more important" than "pretty", what do you do when one girl is a little smarter but far more pretty? Importance doesn't work that way in relationships.

I'd suggest starting by knowing what you absolutely require; and then knowing what you want but can compromise on. In the end life will likely throw you a curve-ball and you'll end up with what you never considered.