[rockr2010]

Sigh. Alright well I met this guy that's ultimately awesome and a really cool guy, but Last night right before I went to bed, God ( I think it was God, but I'm not really sure) gave me a little warning that this person has a "past" and that he wasn't for me. That he's gonna bring someone better, more perfect, and more handsome for me that will fulfill all of my needs and he'll basically be my soulmate. Well today I sort of found out some things about this person and things that he had done in his past that I wasn't too happy about. I mean nobody is perfect, and God is forgiving when you ask for it. But in church we've been working on envisioning our futures and the ppl we could see being a part of it. (especially our "significant other". ) He's not a bad person or anything, but I've already made my vision and I know what I want in a husband. I just don't want to start some little meaningless relationship that escalates into something serious if God is saying "just be friends" . It's really hard and it totally sux because he's someone that I have a lot in common with and I find exciting and he's christian. So what do I do, and how do I know if it was really God that told me that, and It wasn't just me letting certain things about him get to me?

[mulletman]

Give it time, and pray. I don't see much else you can do.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by rockr2010

Sigh. Alright well I met this guy that's ultimately awesome and a really cool guy, but Last night right before I went to bed, God ( I think it was God, but I'm not really sure) gave me a little warning that this person has a "past" and that he wasn't for me. That he's gonna bring someone better, more perfect, and more handsome for me that will fulfill all of my needs and he'll basically be my soulmate. Well today I sort of found out some things about this person and things that he had done in his past that I wasn't too happy about. I mean nobody is perfect, and God is forgiving when you ask for it. But in church we've been working on envisioning our futures and the ppl we could see being a part of it. (especially our "significant other". ) He's not a bad person or anything, but I've already made my vision and I know what I want in a husband. I just don't want to start some little meaningless relationship that escalates into something serious if God is saying "just be friends" . It's really hard and it totally sux because he's someone that I have a lot in common with and I find exciting and he's christian. So what do I do, and how do I know if it was really God that told me that, and It wasn't just me letting certain things about him get to me?

1) Do you actually know this person "has a past?" Or have you decided this on your own? The mind is a tricky thing. People can decide quite a bit about you, and convince themselves it is fact, without ever finding out the truth.

2) Are you a person who has done nothing bad in your past? I ask that, because its easy to excuse yourself and hold others accountable. I think we are all guilty of this.

3) This vision you say you have envisioned, does that person even exist? I ask because in a lot of Christian circles we make up a fictitious person we desire to have a relationship with who is neither realistic, or what we need? I know before I met my wife I envisioned I would be married to a tall brunette with a genius level iq and a love for hard music. Probably a quiet thinker, like I actually am when on my own. I am married to a short blonde with a firecracker personality, who is quiet intelligent, but could care less about most music. She is actually perfect for me.

Ultimately, pasts do not mean a whole lot. The way they matter is how they shaped the present person and who they are yet to become.

If God were to tell you something, he is not going to be so subtle as to leave you wondering.

[rockr2010]

Yes I know for a fact (unfortunately) that he has a past.
Yes I'm the kind of person that's very careful about the decisions I make because I don't want to live a life of regret of feel that I'm always going to be carrying baggage from sinning, even after I ask for forgiveness. I'm not perfect and that's not what I expect, just I try my hardest to live my life according to the bible and avoid all temptations.
I didn't specify what every trait of that person had to be or what they would look like... It's kind of hard to explain actually.
The last line made a lot of sense, but I don't know If it's just me questioning something because I'm not sure, or me being sure of something, and questioning it because I don't want it to be true.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by rockr2010

Yes I know for a fact (unfortunately) that he has a past.

What do you mean by this? I am asking because everyone of us have pasts, some worse than others, some more relevant than others.

Yes I'm the kind of person that's very careful about the decisions I make because I don't want to live a life of regret of feel that I'm always going to be carrying baggage from sinning, even after I ask for forgiveness. I'm not perfect and that's not what I expect, just I try my hardest to live my life according to the bible and avoid all temptations.

So you are claiming to have no sin in your past? 1 John calls you a liar, and that shows a fair amount of pride. I call foul on this one. You say you never sinned and that you are not perfect. Thats contradictory.

I didn't specify what every trait of that person had to be or what they would look like... It's kind of hard to explain actually.

Not really. We all do it, and in all honesty, I think its a huge blight on current Christianity. We make an idol of a fake person without flaws whom we think we deserve, when in reality, we are sinners, who deserve death.

I bring this up because I think its an exercise in wrongheadedness and pride. I think we should focus on being Christfollowers, and seek to be the person we need to be, rather than seek what someone else should be for us.

Paul had a past. A dark past. Any one of us who has been redeemed in actuality has a past where we were enemies of God.

The last line made a lot of sense, but I don't know If it's just me questioning something because I'm not sure, or me being sure of something, and questioning it because I don't want it to be true.

All throughout scripture, you never see someone scratching their head wondering if it was God. Either it was, or it wasn't. I try to not chalk up to God what could be accounted for by intuition or thoughts.

[Rainer.]

I say give it time, give it time, give it time.

Truth is, you're 17, and you got a lot of life to live. If you're not sure about this, then you have no business being in a relationship.


Now as for how do you know if it's the "right person"?

Well, it's not going to be someone that doesn't have a past (we all have pasts), it's not going to be someone who fulfills all of your needs (it's a human relationship, we will always fall short), it's not going to be someone who was "made for you". All things considered, commitment is a far better indicator of the future health of a marriage than any other quality.

[shellyw0]

God forgive every one who wanted with true heart but that is not at all good enough. I mean to say, God will do his duty and for you, you should also your perform your duty as well. You should keep open your eyes & brain and must see what is good and what is not for you.

God gave us body and mind and we should use it before reaching at the final conclusion.
___________________
How to Get Your Ex Back | Get Your Ex Back

[k-lub242]

About the having a past part- I would have to say that I wouldn't put too much weight on that. I know personally I would be a bit sad marrying someone who was a virgin, but still... past is past. So my wife made a mistake ages ago, I don't need to hang it over her. It's better to just forgive her about it and not worry too much. Besides, it's really not THE most important thing in a marriage/relationship.

[Novan_Leon]

The Lord isn't concerned about our past, only the present. I would take your "vision" with a grain of salt. Give it time and pray about it. Above all, trust in the Lord and he will make your path straight.

[arkinet]

My pastor give me 4 step in knowing the right person:
1. pray
2. pray
3. pray
4. pray

Sounds silly but true. Anyway, surround yourself with mature individual who can give you Godly advice, because sometimes your friends can only comment on what they see or hear regarding the person.
Sometimes its the right person, but not the right time. Maybe God's still working in both of you to prep you for a meaningful relationship.
And lastly, pray again.

[k-lub242]

Keep your youth pastor, pastor, or someone else like that in the loop of what's going on and be honest with them. Seriously. It makes such a big difference, I wish I would have taken that advice to heart in the past. Having someone to pray for you, help you with decisions, and just BE THERE along the way with you makes such a difference.

[Folk_guy]

At 17 you're still very young with a lot of time and living ahead of you. I would say that everyones advice so far is right on the money. Spend time getting to know this person don't rush into any decisions. You can be friends / date etc. for a long time, at some point you'll make up your mind one way or the other. I would keep the relationship friendly, and not get too serious while you make up your mind. Of course continue to pray about wether or not this person is the one for you. Are you going to go to college? Will you be going away? How is having a steady boyfriend going to work in your plans for the near future. Maybe a prolonged friendship and some casual dating (and no I don't mean casual sex by that), is what you need at this time without getting too serious. Take your time and pray about it the answer will come. I also wouldn't focus too much on the past everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet, and has done things they regret. It's part of growing up. What kind of person is he now!!!

[rockr2010]

I'm really not one to say the kind of person that he is... but i guess it's just always going to be in the back of my head, that if we end up together, stay together, and everytime we are together, there was still someone that meant more to him to give them everything and not wait until he met that one person that he was going to spend the rest of his life with. But then again, I didn' t know their situation so I can't really say

[Dritzz21]

Even though the responses have been excellent i feel i must reply as well. I would say pray but the very fact you are asking this question seems to imply you need help understanding why or what you need to pray about.
First, you seem confused as to how you can tell if this person is the right person for you. This is a very tough issue seeing that some believe in "love at first sight", while others believe there is "THE ONE" out there, while still others believe there are several compatible options. I believe, however, that you will never know until God puts in your heart the certainty. This could encompass all three systems but God's time is of the essence. You may not know if this person is the one God has intended you to be with but He does. If you have uncertainty in your heart then be cautious. Better to be cautious and have God have to slap you in the face with it then to disregard and live a life of regret. If its someone He wants in your life believe me He will make it happen
I believe God places people in your life for different reasons whether it be for growth, learning, or encouragement. But He knows that this person He has planned for you is going to be for a special purpose.
My advice to you is leave commitment at the door until you know for sure in your heart this is what God wants. I cant stress it enough....better to be safe with God then sorry with yourself But He will let you know in due time. If you are unsure...dont do it. Keep your chin up kiddo

[Rainer.]

Old thread. Please do not resurrect.