[Kentl]

Originally Posted by Rainer.

I never said kids can't love. Believe me, when I was your age I felt feelings of love just as strong as I feel today. And I am not telling you not to love her. Love is so much more than romantic involvement, though. And sometimes the right thing to do with a girl you love is not date them. Because you are 14. And romances with 14 year old aren't going anywhere. Honestly.

When I was your age, I was so in love with a girl. I wanted to be with her so badly. I knew that I could be the Godly example of love in her life. But thankfully, God never gave me that opportunity, and looking back, I now know that getting involved with her would have been a big mistake on my part.

And just because someone changed you doesn't mean you can change someone else. There are a lot of people that made a big difference in my life. Facts are, though, that most of them I did not date, and dating someone doesn't make them change.

okay well maybe it will we will see in ten years or so

well with all do respect i don’t know if god had anything to do with that (i don’t know the sorry behind it maybe you were to scared to ask her maybe she said no or something)
well i have changed her and i know god is letting me do this
and also she wont talk to anyone but me about my beliefs and that is because i am dating her
before she whould not talk about her belifes
and i know if i broke up with her hse whold not talka bout her eblives becuse her belives are this


she believes that it is wrong to have kids before marine
but if you plan on staying with the person forever you can have sex as long as you are careful
(i know that is wrong i am working on it oaky?)

[Rainer.]

Kentl. I think you've gotten yourself in a very precarious situation.

I know you don't want to break up with her because you've already gotten involved, and breaking up with her will hurt her, which might just reverse everything you have been trying to help her with.

But I think you should trust us when we are saying that it is just not smart for you to be dating right now. Yes, because of your age. You can love her with passion that you have never felt before, but just because of where you are in life, it is unreasonable for you to think that you and her are going to stay together.

Just look at your own history, you've already had four girlfriends.

I know you don't want to think that your relationship with her is going to hurt both of you someday, but it will.

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by Rainer.

Kentl. I think you've gotten yourself in a very precarious situation.

I know you don't want to break up with her because you've already gotten involved, and breaking up with her will hurt her, which might just reverse everything you have been trying to help her with.

But I think you should trust us when we are saying that it is just not smart for you to be dating right now. Yes, because of your age. You can love her with passion that you have never felt before, but just because of where you are in life, it is unreasonable for you to think that you and her are going to stay together.

Just look at your own history, you've already had four girlfriends.

I know you don't want to think that your relationship with her is going to hurt both of you someday, but it will.

idk about the frist part

look i know you think it wont last but i think i will porve you worng we will see
as time gose on okay?

[Rainer.]

I'll tell you that I, like you, have never, ever found myself content being single. I've longed for meaning and attachment in my life through relationships, too.

But I wish I had known that I was wasting my time pursuing relationships then like I understand now.

I know you think that you can handle being in a relationship now. But you're too young. And that's from my perspective, and the perspective of most of the older folks here.

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by Rainer.

I'll tell you that I, like you, have never, ever found myself content being single. I've longed for meaning and attachment in my life through relationships, too.

But I wish I had known that I was wasting my time pursuing relationships then like I understand now.

I know you think that you can handle being in a relationship now. But you're too young. And that's from my perspective, and the perspective of most of the older folks here.

i do think i can spend the rest of my life with her i sped over half of it as her best freind

[Rainer.]

Originally Posted by Kentl

i do think i can spend the rest of my life with her i sped over half of it as her best freind

I'm not going to tell you that you can't spend the rest of your life with her. But I am going to tell you that it is very unlikely.

I am pretty sure I've lived a lot more than you, so I hope you believe me when I say that being in a relationship at your age is a lot more trouble than it is worth.

[Kentl]

Originally Posted by Rainer.

I'm not going to tell you that you can't spend the rest of your life with her. But I am going to tell you that it is very unlikely.

I am pretty sure I've lived a lot more than you, so I hope you believe me when I say that being in a relationship at your age is a lot more trouble than it is worth.

i think it is wroth it but i wll find out later

[beanbag]

I don't really want to post much more in this thread because I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall, but I did want to throw something out there.

I did some evaluation of my own situation recently and took stock of my life. I started thinking about singleness versus getting out there and meeting someone, mostly because my silly, well-meaning uncle has been pressuring me to find a husband. (or asking if he can find one for me. fantastic.) I am pretty set on getting my PhD first, which will realistically take me between 6-8 years. that'll put me between 28 and 30 before I think I'll be ready for a relationship. as I was thinking about this, I thought, "man, 30 is so old!" then I realized, with the miracles of modern medicine and barring any unforeseen accidents, I will probably live until I am between 70 and 90. that means that even if I don't meet anyone till I'm 30, that's between 40 and 60 years together. that is a long time to spend with one person. like, seriously. 40 years is nearly twice my current lifetime. 60 years is almost three times that. even just trying to wrap my brain around that kind of blows my mind, so I've stopped trying.

I sat back and asked myself, what is the big rush? I'm not going to lie, sometimes I do want a guy in my life who is more than just a friend, but then I consider my situation from all possible angles and realize that my life is so much better this way currently. one of my personal biggest desires is to travel and live internationally. if I am single, I don't have to worry about leaving my boyfriend behind or making sure my husband can find work wherever it is I want to go next. another very practical reason is that if I do date in the future, I will be signalling that I am seriously considering the guy as potential husband material. if I wait until after I finish my education, I won't have to worry about getting married and having a baby unexpectedly, which has happened to several people I know, some in college and some in grad school. babies are blessings and gifts from God, but I believe that it is always better to be prepared. the best form of birth control is abstinence, and seriously, I can't imagine anyone who would want to practice abstinence once they're married. even my uncle who wants me to get married and have babies for him to spoil (he seriously said that) looked me straight in the eye, dropped his teasing/joking manner, and said, "if you find the right guy now or in two years, or five years, or whenever and you're not ready to get married yet...if he loves you, he will wait for you."

that is the key. he will wait. she will wait. love will wait. patience is a virtue.

(and this is my last post in this thread.)