Wide Awake In America

Zooropa · 03-18-2009, 07:55 AM

So "Under A Blood Red Sky" had to be deleted. A situation occurred and I overreacted a bit, but only because I did not have the pertinent information at the time. That situation is long gone, and I missed having one of these. I thought I should find a common ground between "Under A Blood Red Sky" and "The David Rockefeller Fan Club" for the new title. So I came up with "Wide Awake in America". Only certain people will get why that is a good mixture. I'll be back with more later.

Zooropa · 03-21-2009, 06:40 AM

Well, I'm pretty much an insomniac these days and have been since I screwed up my sleeping schedule in December 2008. I can not get to sleep at a decent hour, and I go about 1 day a week through my daily activities on no sleep at all. So I've had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking.

Here's one point I will finally concede to Christianity after years of resisting the idea of it: it is better to wait and have sex for the first time after you are married. After many painful lessons and paranoid experiences, I've learned that doing this would save one a whole lot of trouble. Because you have multiple issues associated with pre-marital sex: there's the "uh oh is she pregnant now and is my life gonna be screwed up because of it?" worry wort angle, the "current lover upset at the idea of you with your past lovers" angle, there's the angle where sexual intimacy actually starts to damage the relationship, and finally if you don't meet your wife/husband as quickly as you'd hoped, you end up having sex with more people than you ever wanted to because you keep hoping the current person you're with ends up being the one. Whew!

I've just finally reached a point where I came to the conclusion that it is not worth it. In the long run it makes much more sense to wait after you weigh all of the consequences. The only real problem with this is that you might not meet "the one" until well into your late 20s or even 30s and feel like you wasted a significant portion of your youth (at least I would if that happened to me and I waited). I guess what sucks is just trying to find that person. Growing up I always heard that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. I just thought, "yeah, maybe for the woman.....sure, it's a happy day, but happiest of your life, cmon..." Now I know why people said that. Because it's such a ridiculously difficult fight to even get there. So now I really do feel like it will be the happiest day of my life. If I ever get to speak with this all powerful omnipotent God, I will have a choice few questions as to why the mind of men and women were created so differently........

Zooropa · 03-23-2009, 12:00 PM

I've been listening to nothing but U2 for a month straight now (literally nothing but U2). And I've loved every minute of it. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think it's wonderful to rediscover one of the great musical loves of your life every few years. I think I've reached a point in my life where I can say that U2 will definitely be my favorite band from here on out. My favorite bands have been the following: Nirvana, U2, Radiohead, The Strokes, The Beatles. And they've flip-flopped from time to time. But U2 just connects with me the best. And I am still absolutely loving the new album. It is one of the best releases of the decade. I would not hesitate to rank U2 ahead of the Stones now. Think about it, who makes music this good 30 years into their career?!?! It's never been done before, and it's being overlooked. "Magnificent" is as good as anything they've ever put out. A classic album at their age is revolutionary. Correct me if you can, but like I said, I can't remember it ever being done before. I think their legacy now deserves to be reconsidered and upgraded.

**meatfinger** · 03-23-2009, 10:28 PM

Two words: Johnny Cash. The American series was some of the best music of his career, particularly III and IV.

But generally I agree with you. The big names in rock history that have been together for decades (the Stones, Dylan, Bowie, The Who, etc.) all seem to lose their touch. Not having heard the new album, coupled with not being a big U2 fan in the first place, I don't feel a great urgency to get involved at this point. But hey, if they did indeed produce a culturally significant and artistically valuable work 30 years into their career, good for them.

I will say that I enjoyed Bruce Springsteen's Magic. Pales in comparison to his mid-70s to mid-80s stuff, but still.

Zooropa · 03-24-2009, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meatfinger

Two words: Johnny Cash. The American series was some of the best music of his career, particularly III and IV.

But generally I agree with you. The big names in rock history that have been together for decades (the Stones, Dylan, Bowie, The Who, etc.) all seem to lose their touch. Not having heard the new album, coupled with not being a big U2 fan in the first place, I don't feel a great urgency to get involved at this point. But hey, if they did indeed produce a culturally significant and artistically valuable work 30 years into their career, good for them.

I will say that I enjoyed Bruce Springsteen's Magic. Pales in comparison to his mid-70s to mid-80s stuff, but still.

I thought about Johnny Cash, but I would consider his work with Rick Rubin more of a resurrection. I am not downplaying its importance by any means. I just can't look at those and say, "this is a masterpiece." I was just blindsided by this U2 release. I think I now respect U2 more than any other band ever. They don't have to be trying this hard at this point in their career, but here they are doing it. I am looking forward to their show in Atlanta this Oct. more than I was the first time I ever saw them back in 2005....

Zooropa · 03-24-2009, 03:58 PM

I need some advice from you guys as you're Christians. I'll just be honest and to the point: I really hate my life right now, and I really hate where it's going (or isn't going, rather). I was at one point about 7 years ago a Christian (and a real one, not just in name). I really want to give it a try again, regardless of all of the doubts I have about manipulation, which I guess in the long run does not matter and is superfluous. The problem is I feel like I would be doing it for selfish reasons, and I know that it is not right to make that kind of re-commitment just because you feel like you would get something out of it. But at the same time, I know that everything else I have tried has failed and ultimately left me miserable. What's your view on someone who left Christianity and wants to return because he is miserable? If I do it, I want to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons. Thanks.

ICTHUS · 03-24-2009, 05:00 PM

You may not know me. But I just noticed this and thought I should respond. There's a hymn that goes thusly:

Just as I am, without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me!
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

And another,

Let not conscience make you linger,
Nor of fitness fondly dream,
All the fitness he requires,
Is to feel your need of Him

This He gives you, this He gives you,
T'is the Spirit's rising beam!

Come, you weary, heavy laden,
lost and broken by the fall;
if you tarry till you're better,
you will never come at all.

Not the righteous, not the righteous,
Sinners, Jesus came to call!

God has said that you and I and every human being on this planet have hearts that are desperately wicked and deceitful. Therefore, come to Jesus just as you are. Is your soul filthy, and are you full of doubts? Good, Christ's blood is sufficent for you. Come! Don't wait until you're better, don't wait until you're less miserable. The very fact that you feel you are miserable without Christ is an indicator, I think, of the fact that you know that wallowing in rebellion against God is ultimately to your detriment. Don't wait until you feel better, for you'll never feel better unless of course you deaden your conscience more, in which case you'll never come back to Christ anyhow.

I'll stop now that I find myself sounding a wee bit too much like C.H. Spurgeon. I hope that helps.

**meatfinger** · 03-24-2009, 06:05 PM

Andy, life without Christ is miserable. Some are able to convince themselves otherwise, and I pity those people far more than those who are aware of their misery. You need not worry about selfish motives. Your misery is a result of your recognition of sin in your life. Christ at times uses misery as an attention-getter; it's like He's saying, "Your life is pointless without Me."

But once you recognize that Christ died to rescue you from misery, how could your intentions possibly matter? If you're willing to accept that Christ truly loves you, and that He emptied Himself for you, to do anything other than accept, regardless of motives, would be far more offensive than to accept His grace for partly selfish reasons.

I want to echo what Icthus said. Christ draws us to Himself. He doesn't do so only when we've got our priorities in line and our intentions are utterly pure. He draws us from the depths of misery and despair, such that the ensuing transformation can be said to be the work of no other. I think of Jesus' parable of the workers. It didn't matter if the workers had been working eight hours, four hours, or one hour. Christ accepted them all freely and paid them all the same wage. And Christ is now drawing you back to His fold; that is as much a responsibility as it is a blessing.

**Leboman** · 03-24-2009, 06:06 PM

I heartily agree with both of the above posts. Excellent words to ponder.

**Leboman** · 03-24-2009, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooropa

I've been listening to nothing but U2 for a month straight now (literally nothing but U2). And I've loved every minute of it. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think it's wonderful to rediscover one of the great musical loves of your life every few years. I think I've reached a point in my life where I can say that U2 will definitely be my favorite band from here on out. My favorite bands have been the following: Nirvana, U2, Radiohead, The Strokes, The Beatles. And they've flip-flopped from time to time. But U2 just connects with me the best. And I am still absolutely loving the new album. It is one of the best releases of the decade. I would not hesitate to rank U2 ahead of the Stones now. Think about it, who makes music this good 30 years into their career?!?! It's never been done before, and it's being overlooked. "Magnificent" is as good as anything they've ever put out. A classic album at their age is revolutionary. Correct me if you can, but like I said, I can't remember it ever being done before. I think their legacy now deserves to be reconsidered and upgraded.

I am constantly "rediscovering" some of my musical loves. I'll often overdose on an artist and then go extremely long periods of time without so much as a listen. It's always good to come back...especially if that artist is still making new music.

**Leboman** · 03-24-2009, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooropa

So "Under A Blood Red Sky" had to be deleted. A situation occurred and I overreacted a bit, but only because I did not have the pertinent information at the time. That situation is long gone, and I missed having one of these. I thought I should find a common ground between "Under A Blood Red Sky" and "The David Rockefeller Fan Club" for the new title. So I came up with "Wide Awake in America". Only certain people will get why that is a good mixture. I'll be back with more later.

We can always un-delete it and remove any posts that you do not want. That's up to you.

Zooropa · 03-25-2009, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Role Modlin

We can always un-delete it and remove any posts that you do not want. That's up to you.

Nah, that's ok. I'd rather just have a fresh start. But thanks for the offer.

Zooropa · 03-25-2009, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meatfinger

Andy, life without Christ is miserable. Some are able to convince themselves otherwise, and I pity those people far more than those who are aware of their misery. You need not worry about selfish motives. Your misery is a result of your recognition of sin in your life. Christ at times uses misery as an attention-getter; it's like He's saying, "Your life is pointless without Me."

But once you recognize that Christ died to rescue you from misery, how could your intentions possibly matter? If you're willing to accept that Christ truly loves you, and that He emptied Himself for you, to do anything other than accept, regardless of motives, would be far more offensive than to accept His grace for partly selfish reasons.

I want to echo what Icthus said. Christ draws us to Himself. He doesn't do so only when we've got our priorities in line and our intentions are utterly pure. He draws us from the depths of misery and despair, such that the ensuing transformation can be said to be the work of no other. I think of Jesus' parable of the workers. It didn't matter if the workers had been working eight hours, four hours, or one hour. Christ accepted them all freely and paid them all the same wage. And Christ is now drawing you back to His fold; that is as much a responsibility as it is a blessing.

Thanks, man, for taking the time to write that out. Even when I was completely opposed to Christianity, there was always a part of me that somehow believed that there is a God who runs our lives and arranges for certain people to enter and exit at appropriate times.

Right now, my attitude boils down to being mad as hell that certain things did not work out for me as I expected them to, in addition that certain people have not lived up to be the kind of people I thought they were. And it disappoints me horribly. I guess I just feel like I've been "teased" in some ways. But that's just life. Certain things can happen in your life, and you're lead to think, "this is it. It's finally all coming together." But in the end, humans don't have a clue. Maybe God is just using that stuff to draw me back and tell me, "don't worry about that stuff. I've got other things in store for you. But you've gotta accept certain things first."

I can't go back just like that. But I've definitely got some thinking to do. And I will. Because I feel like I'm going nowhere right now.

Zooropa · 03-25-2009, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ICTHUS

You may not know me. But I just noticed this and thought I should respond. There's a hymn that goes thusly:

Just as I am, without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me!
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

And another,

Let not conscience make you linger,
Nor of fitness fondly dream,
All the fitness he requires,
Is to feel your need of Him

This He gives you, this He gives you,
T'is the Spirit's rising beam!

Come, you weary, heavy laden,
lost and broken by the fall;
if you tarry till you're better,
you will never come at all.

Not the righteous, not the righteous,
Sinners, Jesus came to call!

God has said that you and I and every human being on this planet have hearts that are desperately wicked and deceitful. Therefore, come to Jesus just as you are. Is your soul filthy, and are you full of doubts? Good, Christ's blood is sufficent for you. Come! Don't wait until you're better, don't wait until you're less miserable. The very fact that you feel you are miserable without Christ is an indicator, I think, of the fact that you know that wallowing in rebellion against God is ultimately to your detriment. Don't wait until you feel better, for you'll never feel better unless of course you deaden your conscience more, in which case you'll never come back to Christ anyhow.

I'll stop now that I find myself sounding a wee bit too much like C.H. Spurgeon. I hope that helps.

Thanks, that makes sense. I hold myself to such high behavior standards that I didn't want to feel like I was taking advantage of anything. I've got some major bitterness issues that I can not clear up by myself right now due to reasons a situation dictates. I am just angry 24/7, and I want to clear it up and eliminate it, but there's nothing I can do. Only God could take that stuff away right now.

Zooropa · 03-26-2009, 03:01 PM

Sorry for the whiny posts lately. It's been a while since I've had one, so I'd forgotten that there are certain stages that one goes through when involved in a breakup. Allow me to elaborate as I put on my relationship therapist hat:

Stage one: I like to call this the numb stage. It could also be defined as the in denial stage. You are in shock that things did not work out. You hold out vain hope that a reconciliation is possible despite it being the wrong thing to do. During this, you only think of the things you liked about that other person because you're stuck in a wishful dream state. This is the most vulnerable of the stages, and it is also the most severe.

Stage two: You next move on to the anger stage. This comes after the initial hurt fades away and you start to remember all of the things you disliked about that person and forget about the good things about them. This is where you start to over-inflate your sense of self-worth, and start to think things like, "how dare he/she turn down MY offer of love, especially after how well I treated him/her."

It's all ego, man. This is my least favorite stage, because it's the silliest, and it tends to last the longest also.

Stage three: You eventually move on and learn to play the waiting game. It sucks, but what's the alternative? There is no alternative. You learn to deal with it. The end.

The lesson here? Relationships are ****ing silly. But I do feel better now that I remembered what I'm going through is completely natural and normal.