The life of Me (wanna find out who "Me" is? then read this journal!)

CHRISTISLORD200 · 06-22-2009, 11:19 AM

Ok so on Saturday night I was up till like midnight talking with my mom and dad about Elly. I told them the way I feel about her and they said that I should tell her how much I like her. I was like "Are you serious?" I thought they were gonna like totally cut me off from her and not let me talk to her again. But like I told them how I truly believe that dating right now would just ruin my chances of ever having a productive bf/gf relationship wih Elysse. So they told that I should tell Elysse about my feelings for her but that I also need to make it clear to her that I don't plan on, and won't be as a matter of fact, dating for the next two years or so. They said that By telling her my opinion (which is the same as theirs) on dating that I could be a good testimony to her.

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-22-2009, 09:45 PM

hey readers. I apologize for not Being on in forever. My life has been really frickin busy lately. I will posf a really super long entry next time i am on my computer.

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-23-2009, 06:15 PM

Wellllll a ton has happened............ about 2 years ago, I got into a really messy relationship with a girl named Abbie. We did basically everything a guy and a girl can do together but have sex. I loved her as much as I love Elly now. She cheated me. Anyways a couple weeks ago I saw her for the first time in almost 2 years. She walked towards me but I walked away. Later she called me asking me to go to her house that night and saying that she was really sorry and wanted to apologize and make it up to me. I made the biggest mistake I could make. I went. We did the same stuff we did 2 years ago.......... I went home the next day and was miserably all day. I couldn't believe I had done it again. I decided that I was never gonna do it again..... but unfortunately she didn't. She asked me over and I went to tell her. I wont go into detail but basically she wanted to do it again. I turned around and said "Abbie I don't want to do this anymore. What we did before was wrong." and she was like "come on you know you want me" and I was that close to turning around. But I didn't. I left the house. Long story short she didn't give up. The last time I saw her was in a changing room at target. She like stalked me into there and when I opened the door she jumped in and started making out. It ended up with me pushing her off, cursing at her, hitting her, and leaving. I haven't seen her since but she told me that she is never talking to me again......... personally, I am fine with that. And I told her so. When her cousin gave me a message today saying that Abbie says she is not talking to me anymore I told the cousin "sweet tell her I said thank you" lolz. Anyways thats the big thing that happened in my life..... I am happy with me and Elly's relationship cuz she finally realizes that the guy she dated is a jerkface. OH THAT REMINDS ME...... I found out that Elly and the guy she now doesnt like anymore, did the same thing that I did with Abbie. They did everything but sex. It took me so long to get over it........ I was devastated to find out that my girl had done that...... but I got over it eventually. I am happy with me and Ellys relationship right now so that is good. Anyways thats about it.... if I think of anything else I will post it.....

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-24-2009, 05:00 PM

Ok so yesterday I was in wegmans and Abbies cousin (her name is Allison) walked up to me and was like "Abbie wanted me to tell you that she hopes your sorry and that she is never talking to you and is never gonna look at you again" and I was like "Tell her I said 'thank you very much!!!'" lolz. But like after that she was like "yeah I dont blame you I dont really like her either" and so I was like "sweet" and she was like "Yeah Abbie told me about how you hit her" and like as she was saying that she started laughing so I was like happy about that. But then she said "Like she shouldnt have tried to have sex with you and stuff when she knew you didnt want to. Thats just stupid" and she was like "She should have gotten you to want to first......." and i was like "You have got to be kidding me!" and she was like "you dont want to have sex with me either do you?" and I was like "ummmmm NO!" and she was like "ok" and she sighed and said "im cool with that" so anyways later that day she sent me a very innappropriate picture of her with a text message saying "you sure you dont want me?" and I was like (I was really really really ticked and I dont know if it will be censored out but I usually dont use language like this but I was TICKED) I was like "I said no you ☺☺☺☺ing ☺☺☺☺☺ now damnit go away and dont bother me any more" so like yeah..... but then today even after Abbie said she wasnt gonna talk to me she like came to my house today and was like "Hey baby" and I was like "why the heck are you here?" and she was like "Cuz I wanted to see you" and I was like "go away and leave me alone Abbie seriously" and she was like "ok but i am coming back later so think about it" so yeah......... she hasnt come back yett.......

fflscw · 07-24-2009, 09:44 PM

ohh, gosh.......... that's all i can say.......... wow, i've really had this urge to pray for you lately and i think i'll continue.

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-25-2009, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fflscw

ohh, gosh.......... that's all i can say.......... wow, i've really had this urge to pray for you lately and i think i'll continue.

Yeah..... thanks. Thanks soooo much.

Kentl · 07-25-2009, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CHRISTISLORD200

Yeah..... thanks. Thanks soooo much.

hey man me to

musaclover · 07-25-2009, 10:08 PM

I will so pray for you. That is really messed up. First your ex then her cousin?! That is just creepy too. Man sometimes people really just don't know when they should just lay off.

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-26-2009, 07:35 PM

I KNOW!!!!!! I swear that like were in on it together and like had secret meetings and stuff. I was so pissed off (sorry for the language) but yeah..... hopefully I am done with both of them.......

fflscw · 07-26-2009, 08:23 PM

they haven't bothered you for a while?

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-28-2009, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kentl

hey man me to

thanks so much man. I really appreciate it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fflscw

they haven't bothered you for a while?

Well yesterday Abbie sent me a few very innappropriate pictures that I wont go into detail about but I just told her to "go away da**it or I will fu**in call the cops." but other than that they havent been borthering me.

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-31-2009, 09:09 AM

ok so like I saw Elly on wednesday. normally, that would have been frickin awesome....... except for the fact that on wednesday seeing Elly again and the way she acted around me was...... revealing. I realized that she does not and will never love me the way I love her...... it has been killing me. I have been in a dark mood since wednesday and have been snapping at all my family members about everything under the sun. Like the only reason I have been resisting Abbie recently is because I have been thinking "No Jonathan, wait for Elly. Just a few more years Jonathan" but like now Elly isnt tthere tto wait for. And like for the past three months my life has been living Hell. 3 months ago, I found out that my step grandfather raped two of my younger cousins (Faith - 8, and Rachael - 6) and like this is a man that I have known since the day I was born..... literally. He has been a major part of my life. He was there when I got my black belt in Karate. He went to all of my swim meets when I was on tthe tteam. And 3 montths ago I realized that whenever he was alone with my two younger cousins, he would feel them up. Like constantly. So I have had that to deal with, and like recently my other grandfather has been in the hospital for a month and he is dying. And now I lose Elly. I am thinking of telling Abbie "You know what, lets have a sleep over at your house" cu I just dont know anymore. I feel like starting three months ago, God put my life in a video game, handed the disc to Satan and said "have fun" like like I said before, my life has been and is a living Hell.

fenderguy962 · 07-31-2009, 11:00 AM

That is messed up man. But whatever you do, make sure to stay away from Abbie and her cousin. Do NOT go over there, for any reason. STAY AWAY!

I'll be praying for you Jonathan. Stay strong, it'll get better.

You can PM me any time if you wanna talk about it.

fflscw · 07-31-2009, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CHRISTISLORD200

ok so like I saw Elly on wednesday. normally, that would have been frickin awesome....... except for the fact that on wednesday seeing Elly again and the way she acted around me was...... revealing. I realized that she does not and will never love me the way I love her...... it has been killing me. I have been in a dark mood since wednesday and have been snapping at all my family members about everything under the sun. Like the only reason I have been resisting Abbie recently is because I have been thinking "No Jonathan, wait for Elly. Just a few more years Jonathan" but like now Elly isnt tthere tto wait for. And like for the past three months my life has been living Hell. 3 months ago, I found out that my step grandfather raped two of my younger cousins (Faith - 8, and Rachael - 6) and like this is a man that I have known since the day I was born..... literally. He has been a major part of my life. He was there when I got my black belt in Karate. He went to all of my swim meets when I was on tthe tteam. And 3 montths ago I realized that whenever he was alone with my two younger cousins, he would feel them up. Like constantly. So I have had that to deal with, and like recently my other grandfather has been in the hospital for a month and he is dying. And now I lose Elly. I am thinking of telling Abbie "You know what, lets have a sleep over at your house" cu I just dont know anymore. I feel like starting three months ago, God put my life in a video game, handed the disc to Satan and said "have fun" like like I said before, my life has been and is a living Hell.

i'm sorry, Jon!

but getting back with Abbie will make things no better. i won't stop praying for you, so don't give up, 'kay?

CHRISTISLORD200 · 07-31-2009, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderguy962

That is messed up man. But whatever you do, make sure to stay away from Abbie and her cousin. Do NOT go over there, for any reason. STAY AWAY!

I'll be praying for you Jonathan. Stay strong, it'll get better.

You can PM me any time if you wanna talk about it.

Dude, thanks so much. It means so much to me to know that people care so much about me. Thanks so much man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fflscw

i'm sorry, Jon!

but getting back with Abbie will make things no better. i won't stop praying for you, so don't give up, 'kay?

Thanks, Im sorry too............ I mean right now, getting back with Abbie does seem like it will help......... but idk I will think about it...... thanks so much for praying tho. It rly means a lot to me.