[tmlfan123]

I was reading a few of the threads below, and decided to add my own situation to the mix.

Last year, I got to know a girl quite well, and we became something more than friends. This was against my parents wishes, and eventually I had the courage to end it, and I'm glad I did. However, lately she's been hinting that she still likes me and she wants to be more than friends, if not now, then later. I really love her (as a sister in Christ), she's a wonderful person and friend, but I don't really have romantic feelings for her anymore. I don't want to hurt her and have our friendship end, because she is one of my best friends. Is there any way to let her down easy? (we're both still in high school, if that makes a difference).

[DaGeek]

The easiest way I can offer is don't hint back that you may be interested. Decide if you are or if you're not. If you're not, as you say, you need to make sure you're not dropping her hints that you are. For example, don't randomly text her at 3 A.M. 'cause you want someone to talk to or something. You're almost going to have to distance yourself from her purposely. If you're not dropping her hints back, and if you know why you're staying away from her, it shouldn't become an issue, especially if you've already ended a relationship a long time ago.


If she just outright asks, your answer is basically this: "I'm sorry, but this won't work. I'm not interested in a relationship with you. I want to be friends, but that's all I can do."


She probably won't be terribly happy if that turns out to be the case, but true honesty under fire is something she will one day appreciate. If you're afraid of losing her as a friend should that be the case, remember that true friendship isn't about getting to the point of having a relationship with someone, and, if she stops being your friend because you don't want it, then it's just cutting loose something that wasn't helping you anyway.


However, that's plan B. My first paragraph is my preferred suggestion.

[tigerfan88]

It's better to be honest than to lead someone on, or make them think you are interested when you're not. I agree with Paul's approach of not hinting back and making it apparent that you just want to be friends (without actually stating it). But if confronted, simply tell her you really like her as a friend, but do not think you two are right for one another in terms of dating. It's as simple as that.

[Rainer.]

The best break is fast, clear, and serious. It is good that you are concerned for her feelings, but you can not leave any doubt that it is over between you.

If you have to, confront her about it directly. Tell her that you simply no longer reciprocate her feelings. This might hurt her, yes, but if it has to be done to show her that you are serious, then it simply has to be done.

[tmlfan123]

Alright thanks guys, this confirms what I've been thinking.