Long-Distant relationships?

JerRocks2day · 11-24-2008, 04:35 PM

My friend's brother, as well as a friend of mine, has a girlfriend whose actually from California. It turns out they met on Shoutlife.com. Is it alright to have a girlfriend/boyfriend from long-distant locations?

**thesteve** · 11-24-2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JerRocks2day

My friend's brother, as well as a friend of mine, has a girlfriend whose actually from California. It turns out they met on Shoutlife.com. Is it alright to have a girlfriend/boyfriend from long-distant locations?

It's alright...and sometimes (rarely) it even works out in the long term.

but generally long distance relationships are hard, and I definitely don't recommend ones that are just based on the internet.

**bravesfan007** · 11-24-2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesteve

It's alright...and sometimes (rarely) it even works out in the long term.

but generally long distance relationships are hard, and I definitely don't recommend ones that are just based on the internet.

I agree with the stuff here.

There is nothing written forbidding it, but I wouldn't recommend it. A person can present themselves any way that want to online, but you truly find out who they are when you hang out with them in real life.

**Rainer.** · 11-24-2008, 06:34 PM

Yes, I would be very skeptical of anyone you can't meet in person, but it's possible. You just have to decide if it is reasonable.

JerRocks2day · 11-24-2008, 07:39 PM

Quote:

There is nothing written forbidding it, but I wouldn't recommend it. A person can present themselves any way that want to online, but you truly find out who they are when you hang out with them in real life.

I know they've[my friend and his girlfriend] met each other in real life. She visited him this week and they seem happy with each other.

tigerfan88 · 11-24-2008, 08:48 PM

It can definitely work, but it takes a lot more dedication and hard work than a closer relationship would. For many people, it's too hard and it doesn't work out, but for some, it leads to an awesome, long lasting relationship. I'd say it really depends on the individuals involved.

earlessdog · 11-24-2008, 11:10 PM

I think it also really depends on the age of these people. If they're teenagers, it could be harder because they likely don't have the maturity for something like that.

**Rainer.** · 11-24-2008, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by earlessdog

I think it also really depends on the age of these people. If they're teenagers, it could be harder because they likely don't have the maturity for something like that.

More like, teenagers definitely don't quite have the means of travel that older folks do.

And not being able to go see one another is not a good sign.

PontiusPirate · 11-25-2008, 12:37 AM

I agree with the 3 comments above this one.

I think Joel (smileandfollow)& I are living proof that it can work. We met online (CGR! WOO!), met f'real, and then did the long distance thing(he was in Northern CA, I in Utah).....but he was also old enough to move out here after 2 months of the distance so.....
Yeah.

We'll have been married 3 years in March!!!

Jeffrey · 11-25-2008, 01:24 AM

In today's culture, long-distance relationships can generally be unhealthy for teenagers, because their parents and the local church don't have a reliable way to test the maturity and motivations of those dating.

Even for adults, it can be tricky, but adults in long-distance relationships (assuming we mean those that start up across long distances, especially via the Internet, as opposed to relationships that begin locally and must endure a time of separation) have autonomy and are more likely to judge the other party off mature criteria.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 11-25-2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bravesfan007

I agree with the stuff here.

There is nothing written forbidding it, but I wouldn't recommend it. A person can present themselves any way that want to online, but you truly find out who they are when you hang out with them in real life.

I am going to say that in a long distance relationship... you can hide far less of who you really are than in real life. I dated my wife long distance for several years and really, largely because of that, we know each other far better than most couples.

I married my wife after several years. However, we did know each other in real life first. Granted, that part led to betrayal back then.

I am not a fan of online dating services though.

***Pauler*** · 11-25-2008, 02:02 PM

yea, my wife and i did long distance for almost a year, but that was only after we had a solid friendship and dating relationship to start...and it was still very difficult.

what is the end goal? i would imagine that it would be very difficult for someone to REALLY get to know another person over the intertubes. it is possible depending on the transparency of the individuals involved and both people being on the same page as far as end goal, but its just hard when there is no face to face time.

Soap · 11-25-2008, 02:10 PM

Just to second what has already been said: It rarely works out. I believe God didn't create most of us to love our [spouses] from a distance. My fiancee and I met in high school and dated for a long time before she left for college. It has been a year and a half and our relationship has suffered, but we will be together again in a month. Thank God.

Cam42 · 11-25-2008, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesteve

It's alright...and sometimes (rarely) it even works out in the long term.

but generally long distance relationships are hard, and I definitely don't recommend ones that are just based on the internet.

totally agreed.

**bravesfan007** · 11-25-2008, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

I am going to say that in a long distance relationship... you can hide far less of who you really are than in real life.

Can you really hide less? I would imagine it would allow you to hide as much as you wanted to. You would only have to give out the information (and characteristics) about yourself as you wanted. The other person isn't there to see your reaction to situations or the expression on your face in those same situations.