[Wailing Wombat]

I'm having feelings(If you could call it that) about this one girl and I like her, and we're friends and all, but I like likelike her you know? But the problem is, well, I'm a total geek, and I'm somewhat shy, etc... I also have next to no income, blahblahblah, and that all is messing with me(I think I'm too smart/Worried about the future and how things will work out for my own good) And I'm not sure what to do.....
And If Some comes and Just Says something to the effect of "Ask her out, what could go wrong" You're saying that to the wrong guy, I could think Of a Million and one things that could go wrong(Have I mentioned yet that I think I'm too smart/Worried about how things will work out for my own good?).
Among other things, I do not even know if she has A Boyfriend or anything(I Don't see her much out of school or youth) Though I don't think she does

GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[/confusion]

[Art]

If you don't even know if she has a boyfriend, this means you need to get to know her better before you really worry about asking her out or anything like that.

Second, I personally feel that a "rejection" is not something going wrong. I wasted years of my life being depressed because I thought that a girl not liking me "that way" meant something was wrong with me. You are who you are, and if she doesn't want to go out with you, that's because of who she is.

And... good luck. I understand what you're going through.

[athanatos]

If you don't know if she has a boyfriend or not, then just spend more time with her in general. Talk to her. You don't need to ask her out. Talking to her is the best way to establish a relationship, and it doesn't require any formality of "going out", and it is the best way to find out if she has a boyfriend. Talk to her!

Trust me. I know what you mean by thinking too much and being a geek - that describes me, and the above advice is something I have been learning through trial and error.

[Wailing Wombat]

Yeah, I should rephrase that:
I'm fairly sure she doesn't have boyfriend, but I don't know that as an absolute fact....

[Rainer.]

I think you're just getting way too far ahead of yourself.

You're young, you have a crush. You don't need to be asking ask anyone out, I'd say. Just get to know her as a friend, and just go with the flow for now.

And this may sound strange, but ask your parents about what they think about it. Really.

[Art]

Originally Posted by Reign Or Jon.

I think you're just getting way too far ahead of yourself.

You're young, you have a crush. You don't need to be asking ask anyone out, I'd say. Just get to know her as a friend, and just go with the flow for now.

And this may sound strange, but ask your parents about what they think about it. Really.

What he said.

[Wailing Wombat]

Originally Posted by athanatos

If you don't know if she has a boyfriend or not, then just spend more time with her in general. Talk to her. You don't need to ask her out. Talking to her is the best way to establish a relationship, and it doesn't require any formality of "going out", and it is the best way to find out if she has a boyfriend. Talk to her!

Trust me. I know what you mean by thinking too much and being a geek - that describes me, and the above advice is something I have been learning through trial and error.

Yeah, problem with that is, I can't see her at all on the weekends (She's out of town) and we don't live particularily close, and this causes problems through my lack of transportation...

That's more or less how it's going right now.

Originally Posted by Reign Or Jon.

I think you're just getting way too far ahead of yourself.

You're young, you have a crush. You don't need to be asking ask anyone out, I'd say. Just get to know her as a friend, and just go with the flow for now.

And this may sound strange, but ask your parents about what they think about it. Really.

Yeah, I know, I'm pretty bad at that....
Um, yeah, that does sound strange. Any particular reason why?

[Rainer.]

Originally Posted by TFK14

Um, yeah, that does sound strange. Any particular reason why?

They're your parents. They know things. They definitely have things to say to you.

[Demon_Hunter]

Originally Posted by Reign Or Jon.

They're your parents. They know things. They definitely have things to say to you.

Yeah, parents are underated these days.


A parents memories of when they were a kid, and all of those hard won lessons arent just suddenly erased at the moment you are born.

[TravisR]

Originally Posted by TFK14

I'm having feelings(If you could call it that) about this one girl and I like her, and we're friends and all, but I like likelike her you know? But the problem is, well, I'm a total geek, and I'm somewhat shy, etc... I also have next to no income, blahblahblah, and that all is messing with me(I think I'm too smart/Worried about the future and how things will work out for my own good) And I'm not sure what to do.....
And If Some comes and Just Says something to the effect of "Ask her out, what could go wrong" You're saying that to the wrong guy, I could think Of a Million and one things that could go wrong(Have I mentioned yet that I think I'm too smart/Worried about how things will work out for my own good?).
Among other things, I do not even know if she has A Boyfriend or anything(I Don't see her much out of school or youth) Though I don't think she does

GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[/confusion]

Don't think you're too smart for you're own good. You're not. You're too cautious for your own good. Consider for a moment whether we really experience life if we never take risks.Why not take a shot and talk to this girl? Sure, things could go wrong. They might not. You'll never know if you don't take a shot though, and no matter how many things go bad or wrong, it won't amount to anything at the end of the day.

[athanatos]

Originally Posted by TFK14

Yeah, problem with that is, I can't see her at all on the weekends (She's out of town) and we don't live particularily close, and this causes problems through my lack of transportation...

That's more or less how it's going right now.

Out of practicality, you are looking for a relationship despite what prevents you from getting to know her on the outset. Not a good policy, do you think?

[tht00]

Originally Posted by TravisR

Don't think you're too smart for you're own good. You're not. You're too cautious for your own good. Consider for a moment whether we really experience life if we never take risks.Why not take a shot and talk to this girl? Sure, things could go wrong. They might not. You'll never know if you don't take a shot though, and no matter how many things go bad or wrong, it won't amount to anything at the end of the day.

I don't mean to come in as the pessimist... but this sort of attitude has caused me a lot of pain over the last few years... and even weeks... (apparently, I'm terrible at learning my lesson )

What is there to lose by getting involved into a poorly thought-out relationships? I don't know... how about self esteem, confidence, contentment, any sense of emotional stability, time spent frustrated trying to make it work, and countless weeks/months to get out of the depressed slump of failure?


Yes, confidence is a good thing. Sure, risks can be (and often are) worth taking, but using caution is vital to getting into a good relationship and to avoid others. The 'what do you have to lose?' approach, in my experience, has only brought trouble and heartache. YMMV.

[Demon_Hunter]

Originally Posted by tht00

I don't mean to come in as the pessimist... but this sort of attitude has caused me a lot of pain over the last few years... and even weeks... (apparently, I'm terrible at learning my lesson )

What is there to lose by getting involved into a poorly thought-out relationships? I don't know... how about self esteem, confidence, contentment, any sense of emotional stability, time spent frustrated trying to make it work, and countless weeks/months to get out of the depressed slump of failure?


Yes, confidence is a good thing. Sure, risks can be (and often are) worth taking, but using caution is vital to getting into a good relationship and to avoid others. The 'what do you have to lose?' approach, in my experience, has only brought trouble and heartache. YMMV.

But you have nothing to lose in making a new friend. Until you take a first step, you havnt yet gained anything to lose

[Wailing Wombat]

Originally Posted by TravisR

Why not take a shot and talk to this girl? Sure, things could go wrong. They might not. You'll never know if you don't take a shot though, and no matter how many things go bad or wrong, it won't amount to anything at the end of the day.

As I said earlier:

Originally Posted by TFK14

...And If Some comes and Just Says something to the effect of "Ask her out, what could go wrong" You're saying that to the wrong guy, I could think Of a Million and one things that could go wrong...

Originally Posted by tht00

I don't mean to come in as the pessimist... but this sort of attitude has caused me a lot of pain over the last few years... and even weeks... (apparently, I'm terrible at learning my lesson )

What is there to lose by getting involved into a poorly thought-out relationships? I don't know... how about self esteem, confidence, contentment, any sense of emotional stability, time spent frustrated trying to make it work, and countless weeks/months to get out of the depressed slump of failure?


Yes, confidence is a good thing. Sure, risks can be (and often are) worth taking, but using caution is vital to getting into a good relationship and to avoid others. The 'what do you have to lose?' approach, in my experience, has only brought trouble and heartache. YMMV.

Yeah, My problem is, I know how these things can happen badly....

Originally Posted by Demon_Hunter

But you have nothing to lose in making a new friend. Until you take a first step, you havnt yet gained anything to lose

Okay, If I haven't made this clear enough, I am already fairly good friends with her.

Oh, and, I don't know If I'll see her after this year, as she is graduating, and she lives in Winnipeg....

[Dr. Worm]

Originally Posted by TFK14

As I said earlier:

...And If Some comes and Just Says something to the effect of "Ask her out, what could go wrong" You're saying that to the wrong guy, I could think Of a Million and one things that could go wrong...

Yeah, My problem is, I know how these things can happen badly....

Well then this is easy. Forget about her. If you don't think that she is worth the risk, then you are probably right.