of music and musicians

**dogfood** · 10-09-2008, 03:39 AM

an accordian player is driving home from a late night gig. feeling tired, he pulls over for some coffee. while waiting to pay, he remembers that he locked his car doors but left his accordian in plain view on the back seat of his car! he rushes out only to discover that hes too late - the side window of his car has been smashed and somebody has thrown in two more accordians.

**dogfood** · 10-10-2008, 12:33 AM

a drummer decides to learn how to play a real musical instrument. he goes into a musical store and says " i'll take that red trumpet and that accordian." the store assistant replies "ok, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay."

**Fandrew** · 10-10-2008, 12:53 AM

The first one is good, the second is amazing

**dogfood** · 10-10-2008, 10:26 PM

a father is attending his young sons piano recital at a music competition. he turns to whisper to one of the judges, "what do you think of his execution?" the judge replies "im all in favour of it".

niangelo · 10-12-2008, 01:16 AM

What do cellos and old people have in common?

They're both temperamental and hard to get in and out of vehicles.

**dogfood** · 10-13-2008, 11:59 PM

what happens when you play country music backwards???

you sober up, your wife comes back and your dog un-dies

**Fandrew** · 10-14-2008, 12:21 AM

How do you get two oboists to stay in tune? Shoot one.

**dogfood** · 10-14-2008, 12:44 AM

why do they call it rap music???

the letter C fell off at the printers

**DaGeek** · 10-17-2008, 10:12 AM

This thread delights me.

**dogfood** · 10-18-2008, 01:34 AM

what do violins and mike tyson have in common?????
theyre both hard on the ears

Heywatup · 10-19-2008, 07:49 PM

HEY!!! i LIKE the the music of the violin!

tlj009 · 10-20-2008, 02:04 PM

Quote:

a father is attending his young sons piano recital at a music competition. he turns to whisper to one of the judges, "what do you think of his execution?" the judge replies "im all in favour of it".

This was funny but mainly because it made me think of John McKay making the comment.

**dogfood** · 04-07-2010, 11:50 PM

what is better? an electric guitar or an harmonica?

an electric guitar.
you cant beat a harmonica player to death with a harmonica.

Skifree0813 · 04-08-2010, 07:44 AM

You hear about the electric guitarist who locked his keys in his car?
Took him two hours to get his drummer out.

**scared2mosh** · 04-08-2010, 09:17 AM

How do you know it's a singer knocking on the front door?
They don't have the key and they don't know when to come in.

What do call a successful musician?
A guy whose wife/girlfriend has 2 jobs.

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.”

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: “Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: “You’re looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development.” This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest — and closes the bar.